


This House Is Not A Home (Without You)

by QueenoftheProcrastination



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Alternative Universe - Haunted House, Angst, Bazine Netal defense squad, Blow Jobs, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, College Student Rey (Star Wars), Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Dry Humping, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Drama, Force Ghosts, Girls Supporting Other Girls, HEA, Hurt/Comfort, Hux Gets What He Deserves, Hux ruins everything, Its okay if it's you, Kylo probably has a massive case of blueballs, Leia Queen of Cock-Blocking, Leia Queen of Making an Entrance, Making Out, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, New Year's Eve, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rey finally gets the dicking we all deserve, Romance, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, The interest is there but they dont act on it for a while, They get along like a house on fire, Vaginal Sex, choo choo all aboard the pain train, creepy ghost book strikes again, holiday fluff, medium burn?, morning blow job, paranormal activity, professor kylo, school girl fantasy, thanks Leia, the thicken plots, tragic backstory time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-04-28 22:28:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14459136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheProcrastination/pseuds/QueenoftheProcrastination
Summary: University student Rey Jaqueau is down on her luck--winter break is approaching, her campus job is ending, and she just got evicted. But at least she got an A in her Russian lit. class, right? When Professor Ren, her famously difficult (and attractive) lit. professor, offers her a place to crash over break, Rey knows she can't pass up the opportunity.The only problem? Living with Kylo Ren just might be the death of her--and it's a toss up whether the culprit will be the smoldering hot looks he gives her, or the ghosts that only to come out to play when Rey is around.





	1. In Which An Offer is Made and Kylo Wonders What the F*ck He's Gotten Himself Into

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! I've been working on this fic for a while--I wanted to finish at least half of it before I began posting. So my plan is to post once a week (Fridays, or maybe I'll move it to Saturday), and hopefully have the whole thing finished before I catch up with myself. I've currently got 7 chapters done, with 13 plus an epilogue plotted out. 
> 
> It's a little bit different than I usually write (haunted houses! ghosts! Oh my!) but I promise it won't be too scary. 
> 
> Let me know if you like it! <3

 

Rey Jaqueau read over her exam for the third time, double and triple checking that her answers were correct and filled in on the right line and that everything was spelt right--Professor Ren was a stickler for spelling, even though most of  the Russian names felt strange and cumbersome to his students.

She glanced up at the clock. Five more minutes left and only a handful of students still writing. Rey knew she was done, that there wasn't any more for her to write and that all her answers were correct as far as she could tell. But she couldn't bring herself to leave yet--she had her final shift with custodial services after, and fuck if she wanted to face that reality.

With another surreptitious glance, she looked at Professor Ren where he sat at the front of the room, red pen out and grading submitted tests. His thick, dark hair fell over his face, obscuring everything but the frown that tugged at his usually expressive mouth.

_That mouth_. Rey shivered. She knew full well that she wasn't alone in her crush--Christ, half the student population had the hots for brooding literature professor, but she just couldn't help herself. When he'd first strode into their lecture hall, all she could think was _that's the guy everyone's in love with?_ He seemed a little goofy looking, if she was being honest. But the moment he spoke, all thoughts of _seriously, him?_ were driven out of her head. His voice--god have mercy--it was deep and practically vibrated through the room. He spoke with such passion, such raw emotion, that it was hard not to be drawn to him.

Three weeks into the semester and Rey found herself sighing over the sharp line of his jaw, the fullness of his lips, and his expressive, dark eyes.

Suddenly he looked up, catching her gaze. Rey felt a furious blush rise to her cheeks and she looked away quickly. Bollocks, he'd caught her staring at him. Quickly, she looked up again--

_Fuck_! He was still watching her, and now he'd seen her peak up at him. Hands shaking, Rey knew she had to get out of there before she made an even bigger fool out of herself. Gathering her papers and shoving her pens into her backpack she shuffled up to his desk.

"Here you go, sir," she murmured, placing her test in front of him.

Professor Ren thanked her and she turned to go.

"Wait, Rey. I have your final paper for you."

Rummaging in a pile of papers near his elbow, before pulling hers out.

_Christ that's a lot of red_.

"Excellent work."

Rey jerked he head up from the paper to look at him, surprised by his praise. She took the paper from him. With all those markings it couldn't have been that good, could it? She'd have to look it over later.

"Er, thank you," she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trying not to let her hands shake. "I enjoyed writing it."

"It showed. Your paper was a pleasure to read."

The word 'pleasure' from his lips was obscene and Rey felt her blush spread to the tips of her ears.

"I, um, I really enjoyed the class. I'm looking forward to _War and Peace_ next semester."

He gave her a rare smile. "I'm glad you decided to take the second half of the course. It's been a pleasure having you in class."

There was that word again, said in his deep, gravelly voice. Damnit, was he trying to kill her? He had to know the effect he had on her--on most of his students; she knew she wasn't anything special.

Rey fiddled with the lock of hair behind her ear and stuttered a goodbyehappyholidays before bolting from the room.

 

* * *

Kylo Ren leaned back in his chair, trying to stretch the muscles of his large frame, though the small office didn't really afford him the space. Up for tenure, he hadn't warranted an office in the literature department--at least, not while half the building was under construction--and had been shuffled over to one of the tiny, forgotten offices on the top floor of the library. Except for the size, he didn't really mind--the room had character. Built in bookshelves with delicate etched glass doors, a fireplace (though it didn't work anymore), and intricate parquet wooden floors. Plus it was easy to nip downstairs to get whatever books he needed.

He looked at the clock on his computer. Almost nine, god where had the time gone? He rolled his neck until he felt the satisfying pop of his joints. He had better get home; the rest of the exams could wait until tomorrow. Gathering up his things, he locked the office and headed through the deserted library. It was the last day of finals, so most of the students would be gone from campus already, and certainly no one would be studying.

The upper floors of the building were darkened and shadowy, the stacks seeming to close in on him as he moved between the rows to the stairway.

Suddenly, the scrape of furniture over linoleum echoed through the floor and a soft, muttered curse.

Kylo frowned; there shouldn't be anyone else in the building, except for maybe a security guard. Turning away from the stairwell door, he marched through the stacks to the small, seating section. He stopped short, watching as a slim figure tried to tug an ancient avocado colored couch away from the glass wall. The girl turned, moonlight catching her face.

"Rey?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice and let out a little shriek before spinning around. One hand clutched her chest while the other fumbled in her pocket for something.

"Who's there?" She snapped, though her voice wavered on the last syllable.

He knew he probably looked like a monster from a fairy tale, glowering at her from the shadows in his long black peacoat. Kylo stepped out from the stacks. "Rey what the hell are you doing?"

He saw the tension leak from her shoulders as relief crossed her face. "Professor Ren?"

He tilted his head to the side, studying her. He'd seen her in here a lot lately. Sometimes he'd wave or nod, but most of the time she seemed lost in her own world. Now, though, now she looked nervous, not just from him scaring her, but...her eyes kept darting to the bags on the floor next to her. Hmm, a duffle bag as well as her backpack. He could just see the outline of a sleeping bag inside the duffle. What the? Surely she wasn't--

"Rey, are you _sleeping_ here?"

Even in the moonlight he could see the blush paint her skin.

"N-no!" She gasped, eyes once again darting to the duffle at her feet. "I was just...studying! It is the library after all."

He raised an eyebrow. "The library's closed."

"You're here." She snapped back, and he had to stifle a smile at her retort.

"My office is here." He paused, finding that he enjoyed this...this sparing with her. "And I'm leaving for the night."

"I have an after-hours pass."

It _was_ possible that she did, though he didn't know of many professors who would give those out, especially not to underclassmen.

He glanced around the shadowy room. "Studying. With no lights on?"

"I was going to turn them on once I got settled." She said sulkily.

"Exams are over, Rey." He couldn't keep the hint of laughter from his voice.

"I...well..."

He saw a flash of embarrassment across her pretty features and he suddenly felt like an ass for baiting her. Kylo took another step towards her, a strange feeling of protectiveness swelling in his chest. Which, well, she _was_ his student after all. He couldn't very well leave her in a lurch if he could help her.

"Do you not have anywhere else to go?" He asked, keep his voice low in hopes that she wouldn't spook.

She nibbled her bottom lip while twisting a strand of hair 'round her finger. She didn't want to admit it, but finally she shook her head. "No."

He weighed his options. He could get her a hotel--but god, how would that look? University professor rents hotel room for nubile, vulnerable coed? Not fucking likely. Besides, she might have a place to sleep, but what about food? Or a place to wash her clothes? And he wasn't about to drop her off at a shelter--no matter how much good they did, he knew they were places where despair grew like mold. Plus, she'd have to leave in the morning--with campus closed, she'd have nowhere to go the entire day. No, he knew what he would do. It would be a risk, but if she mostly stayed put, it would be okay.

No one would know.

"Come on," he said, scooping up her duffle bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. "You can sleep in my guest room."

“Hey! Let go of my bag!” she snapped, rushing forward and curling her hand over the strap. Kylo acquiesced. Rey tugged just as he let go and the poor girl when flying into the sofa behind her, the bag landing with an _omph_ on her stomach.

“You know, you’re kind of an asshole, Professor Ren.”

He shrugged--she had told him to let go after all. “C’mon. What’s wrong with staying at my place for a little bit?”

Rey's mouth dropped open. "I can't!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because!" She sputtered. "It's your house!"

Kylo cocked an eyebrow. "I'm aware."

"Well...I...what would people think?”

Kylo blinked, taking her meaning immediately as the mental image of her long slim legs wrapped around his waist bloomed behind his eyes.

_Christ._ Where had that come from? She was his student for fuck’s sake.

He cleared his throat. “I can’t imagine anyone will find out.” He paused, fuck, that image would not leave his mind. “Besides, we’re not doing anything wrong.”

Rey frowned, and he could see she was working out another excuse to turn him down. But damnit, suddenly this was important to him. She couldn’t sleep here or a hotel, or at a shelter. It wasn’t safe and he wouldn’t feel right just dropping her off somewhere.

"I'll make you dinner," he promised, spur of the moment. But he imagined if she was sleeping in the library, she probably wasn't eating full, rounded meals.

"I had dinner." She said, standing and taking the opportunity to kick an empty chip bag under the sofa.

"I'm making Italian," he offered, eyes narrowing at the hungry expression that flitted across her face. "Pasta carbonara with pancetta."

Whatever Rey was going to say died on her lips as her stomach chose that moment to growl. She chewed her bottom lip, making it look plump and kiss-swollen when she released it. Kylo shook his head slightly, focusing on her eyes instead of her mouth.

"Well...okay. I guess, I'm pretty hungry." Rey finally conceded though her voice still held a stubborn tone.

Kylo grinned, but tried to keep it from looking like he was gloating. Grabbing her duffle, he motioned for her to walk in front of him. "Alright, come on. My car's park in E deck."

Rey scooped up her backpack and scrambled forward. As he took her to his car, all Kylo could think was, _what the fuck have I gotten myself into?_


	2. In Which Rey Wonders What the F*ck She's Gotten Herself Into and Discoveries Are Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here's chapter two--I hope you like it as much as you liked the first chapter. Like, damn, I was so surprised by how many of you were enthusiastic about seeing more! Can't wait to hear what yall think!

_What the fuck have I gotten myself into?_ Rey thought as she fiddled with the toggles on her coat.

She watched Professor Ren load her duffle in the boot of his Merc. Rey almost whistled when she saw the sleek car, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was impressed--that was the reason men like him got these kind of cars, right?

Besides, she didn't want to make this situation any weirder than it already was.

She slipped into the passenger seat, eyes going wide when the leather under her bum started heating as soon as he pressed the start button. Fancy car aside, Rey knew this was a fucking terrible decision. Going home with her professor.

With Professor Ren.

Professor Ren was taking her home.

_No!_ Rey shook her head, it wasn't like that. And she better not start thinking down those lines either. He was just being nice.

_ He's not nice, though _ . Her mind whispered. True. She'd seen him make at least two members of the football team cry.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Rey didn't think he expected anything. He didn't seem like a creep--brooding, gorgeous, and a bit of an arsehole, sure. But she didn't think he'd expect her to blow him or anything.

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as they sped through the snow dusted streets into one of the historical neighborhoods a few districts away from campus. She'd never been in a house as big as the ones whizzing by them, but when she was little girl in New Orleans, she used to take walks in the Garden District, looking at all the old houses and imagining what they must look like on the inside. With the snow and decorated for Christmas, the ones here looked like gingerbread houses, all aglow with icing.

Professor Ren slowed the car and pulled smoothly into a driveway, waiting a moment for his garage door to open. Rey glanced up at the house as they drove in--big, dark, no Christmas lights. From what she could tell it would look beautiful during the day: lots of delicate carved trim along the edges like lace, big bay windows and balconies covering its three floors.

Rey stumbled into the house after him, mouth hanging open. There was actual silk wallpaper on the walls, with dark, intricate wainscoting on the lower half. Good God, even the crown molding and baseboards were elegant. She could have never imagined anything half so beautiful strolling through the Garden District of New Orleans. Everything seemed to be done up in dark, masculine tones, so even though it _might_ have seemed a bit frilly with all the historical touches and whimsical curlicues, the house was 100% one that belonged to a man. Heavy, dark Chippendale furniture decorated the hallway and the the living room beyond. Rey could only imagine what the rest of the house looked like.

"Your home is absolutely beautiful, Professor." She said, gaping at the stained glass windows surrounding the front door.

Professor Ren glanced back at her, tossing her a wry smile. "Thank you. My grandparents bought it from the original family who owned it--Steel barons who lost their money on the crash of '29. It was built in the late 1870s."

Rey whistled. She could hardly warp her head around owning something with that much history--being rooted to a place and family that had stood for over a century.

She could barely remember her mother's face.

She followed silently behind Professor Ren as he strode down the hallway and hooked a right around a corner to go up a large staircase that split halfway up the floor to curve elegantly towards the first floor landing.

He led her to a room in the southeast corner of the house and shouldered the door open.

"Here we are," he said, dropping her duffle on the floor. "The bathroom is just behind you," he pointed over his shoulder to a door at the end of the hallway. "I'll let you unpack. Come down to the kitchen when you're ready. It's on the right from the stairs."

Rey nodded, stepping into the room. She barely registered his retreating footsteps as she took in the space before her. Done up in soft gray walls, with tan furniture and delicate blue upholstery and bedding, it was a room straight out of a palace.

Or a dream.

She took a tentative step in, half waiting for some beautiful woman to come swooping out of the closet, demanding to know what a skinny little junk rat like Rey was doing in her bedroom. After a moment and no swooping, Rey padded over to the bed, her feet hardly making a sound on the plush oriental carpet. The bed was piled high with pillows and fluffy comforters--it was so tall, in fact, she thought she might need to take a running jump to get into it.

What the fuck?

For the life of her, Rey couldn't figure out why a guy like Professor Ren would have such an impeccably decorated house. Why would he have such a pretty, feminine bedroom just at the ready for guests? Her mind reeled at the possibilities. She didn't want to be stereotypical, but Christ, was he gay? Or, her mind swung to the opposite pole, did he take young coeds to his place often? Did he have a live-in girlfriend? She was pretty sure he wasn't married--he didn't wear a ring and most of the girls in class who gossiped about him gushed about how he was single.

Rey shook her head--whatever Professor Ren's deal was, it didn't matter. As long as things didn't get weird, this was way better than sleeping in the library and dodging security guards.

She unpacked quickly and headed downstairs. Whatever he was making smelled absolutely delicious -that bag of crisps she'd snagged from the vending machine was long forgotten as the scents of butter, cheese and...was that bacon? wafted through the house.

Unlike the rest of the house, the kitchen was a blinding white and stainless steel modern masterpiece. Professor Ren had his back to her when she entered, and she took a moment to study him. He'd taken off his coat, suit jacket and tie, and rolled his shirtsleeves up. Rey watched, a little mesmerized by the way his forearms flexed as he tossed the pasta in its sauce. She'd always known he was a big man, but up close like this, he was _massive_. All broad shoulders and long, thick legs. Christ he could probably bench press her.

Shaking her head,  she padded over to the island between them. At the sound of her bar stool scraping over the tile floors, he turned around, twirling a portion of pasta into a bowl and sliding it over to her.

"Perfect timing."

Rey gave him a grin and dug in. Flavor exploded across her tongue and she couldn't stop a moan of pleasure. "This is amazing, sir!"

She glanced up to see Professor Ren looking at her funny, his eyes wide and slight frown worrying his expressive mouth.

"Are you alright?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes. Of course." a pause, like he was trying to collect his thoughts. "You know, Rey, you can call me Kylo in private. You don't have to call me Professor or, ah, sir."

"Okay, Kylo," she said, drawing the syllables out, testing the feeling of them on her tongue. "So how're you so good at cooking?"

He plated up himself dinner and leaned against the island across from her, instead of sitting at one of the stools. "I was largely raised by housekeepers and au pairs." He shrugged. "Spent a lot time in the kitchen. I guess I just picked it up."

They lapsed into silence again, as Rey tried to imagine what a childhood with housekeepers and au pairs might have been like. Way different, certainly, than a life of foster parents and social workers.

Still, it was nice to just sit with someone and enjoy dinner. She watched as he drummed his fingers against the counter, fascinated at the way the muscles moved beneath his pale skin.  

"So," he began.

"Yes?"

"Why were you sleeping in the library?"

Rey frowned. She didn't exactly feel like telling him the whole story--him being so nice about staying with him was about as much sympathy as she could handle.

She shrugged. "My scholarship covers tuition but not room and board. I had something lined up, and then I didn't."

He didn't like that answer, she could tell. He wanted to know more--men always wanted more than she was willing to give, no matter what it happened to be.

Rey pushed her empty bowl away from her, cutting off whatever he was going to say. "So, can I get a tour of the house?"

* * *

Rey woke the next morning, slightly disoriented. Why hadn't her alarm gone off? She needed to get the hell out of the library before it opened, or else she'd be in trouble. The head librarian was a dragon in a cardigan, and she did _not_ want to cross paths with that man. But sleep was calling to her--she was so warm, her limbs spreading like liquid gold from her body. She snuggled deeper into the blankets and pillows, so comfortable she could have slept for another hour.

_Wait a fucking minute!_ Her eyes popped open as the events of last night flooded through her mind. Sitting up, she looked around the room, doubled checking that her memories were real--that she really was in Professor Kylo Ren's house.

"Christ," she whispered blowing out a breath, making a lock of hair puff up from her forehead.

She waited a second, straining to hear if he was home. Greeted with only silence, Rey scrambled out of the bed, eager to explore. Kylo had given her a tour last night, of course--the big, airy rooms on the ground floor, built for entertaining, the more private rooms on this floor and the one above--but she couldn't very well go sticking her nose in all the corners like she itched to with him just beside her.

_ Well, no time like the present! _

She opened and closed all the different draws on the dresser, vanity, and nightstands. All were empty except for the few drawers she'd put her clothes in the night before. Next, she padded over to the closet and flipped the light on. It was large, with built in shelves and a shoe rack. A large full length mirror stood in the back corner. She was about to close the door and leave, but then something caught her eye.

Rey step further into the closet, to the very back.

"Huh."

Next to the mirror was a seam in the wall. Rey ran her hands along the edge until she found a latch about halfway down. She pulled, and the panel swung open.

"Neat."

A tiny little hallway lay behind, and another door. Rey felt around for the latch, pulling the door open when she did. She was in...another closet? She wandered in, to find row after row of suits, men's shirts, and shoes. The room smelled woodsy, masculine. A touch dangerous. Rey bit her lip as she let her fingers slid over soft wool suit coats and silk ties. She shouldn't be in here. 100% should NOT go through the next door into his bedroom.

And yet, she found herself reaching for the doorknob and twisting it.

The room beyond was the same size as hers, with the same tall wall of windows looking over the garden. The furniture was still classic, but everything was done up in dark, masculine tones--leather chairs flanked a table by the window. Dark, almost black wooden furniture lined the walls. The bed was a massive, heavy thing with a carved wooden canopy. The drapes, carpet, walls, upholstery--everything but the linen on the bed was various shades of black, charcoal, and deep, deep red. Only his messy sheets and comforter were pristine white.

Rey wandered over to the dresser, running her fingers over the few objects that graced it. A medium size wooden box, that, upon opening she found contained cuff-links and watches. A comb, manicure set. A bottle of expensive looking cologne. Two silver framed pictures caught her eye. They were turned away from bed, towards the door. One was of Kylo in what looked like his graduation regalia--black and red robes with a soft, beret-type hat on his head, making his ears stick out in an endearing way. He had a dorky-cute smile on his face and Rey noticed for the first time that he had dimples.

The second picture was of a man and a woman. They were dancing with the woman's arms around the man's shoulders, him tilting her back into a dip. They were both laughing. The clothing looked vintage and the picture was a bit faded, but the people in the photo looked familiar. Rey twisted a strand of hair around her finger. Where these Kylo's parents? She could sort of see the resemblance--the man's chin and jawline, the woman's cheekbones.

Rey turned away from the dresser, the hair on the back of her neck prickling up. She should get out of his room--she didn't know when he'd be back and, Christ, if he caught her snooping like this he might just throw her out.

Rey went back through the closets, making sure to shut the doors tight. She wondered if Kylo knew they were connected? If he did, why had he put her in this room? There were others upstairs. Rey shook her head. He probably didn't know. It was an old house--there were bound to be a few weird things that a modern owner might not think to check for.

The excitement of exploring had dwindled some, so Rey headed downstairs to the kitchen. There was a small note propped up on the island for her, with Kylo's surprisingly elegant scrawl.

_ Rey-- _

_ I'll be on campus for most of the day. Please make yourself at home--there's food in the fridge and pantry. Wifi network is Fr1st0rd3r and the password is Kn1ghts0fR3n. There's a game room upstairs, across from your room. _

_ Kylo _

_ PS: Fajitas for dinner tonight. _

Rey grinned--the note was sweet, if totally weird in the grand scheme of things--and it made her feel warm in the pit of her stomach. Leaving it on the counter, she rummaged through the cupboards for breakfast, finally settling on some nutella toast. She wandered through the ground floor, munching as she went. It was weird being in this big old house by herself; she wasn't sure if she was allowed to touch things or if something was breakable.

But Kylo had said to make herself at home.

Popping her dirty dishes in the sink, Rey noticed there were a few from last night too. Well, the least she could do was clean up after them. Dishes rinsed and loaded in the dishwasher, Rey puttered around, cleaning the kitchen--wiping down the counters and sweeping the floor. She found the cleaning supplies in a side closet along with a vacuum cleaner.

Huh. Maybe she could clean the house today, as like, a thank you for taking her in. The house wasn't messy by any stretch, but it could use with a deep cleaning. Rey went into the living room and fiddled with the stereo until she found an upbeat pop-rock station.

* * *

Rey was about halfway through dusting the books in the library, when the radio started to go out. She could hear another station coming through--a man and a woman talking layered over the music. Leaving the library, went into the living room across the hall where the stereo was. As she approached though, the voices went away, and it was only some moody dude singing about lost love. Rey shook her head, maybe it was only a fluke.

She pointedly ignored the goosebumps on her arms.

She went back into the library and continued dusting and straightening up the books so the spines lined up. A few minutes later, though, she could hear it again. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying, and when she went into the living room again, the sounds faded.

Rey frowned. Maybe it was coming from upstairs? Did Kylo leave a radio on in his office or something? Not that she'd noticed anything earlier, but who knew how sound traveled in these old houses. Rey approached the foot of the stairs, straining to hear anything from above. She took the first step--

SLAM

"Shit!" Rey jumped, scrambling back towards the living room. "The fuck was that!?"

* * *

Kylo pulled up to his house, eyebrows raised at the sight. It looked as if Rey has turned on every light on the first two floors. As he approached the door, he could hear the heavy thump of music. What the fuck was she doing in there? Throwing a party?

He threw the door open, ready to yell at a group of youths to get the fuck out of his house, when he stopped short. Rey stood in his hallway, a mop in one hand, twirling and gyrating around it, while she sang loudly and off-key to the music. She kicked one long, slim leg up, hooking it around the mop and spinning herself like...like...

His mind blanked. His dick got hard.

Rey opened her eyes and saw him standing there. She screamed and fell backwards.

Snapping out of his stupor, he lurched forward, grabbing her wrists before she could land on the floor and hoisted her forward, their bodies colliding.

“Omph,” she muttered into his chest before pulling away enough to look up into his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to ignore how warm and soft she felt pressed against him like that. And he couldn’t quite figure out how to get the message from his brain to his hands to let her go.

“You scared the bejesus out of me,” Rey snapped, her fingers curling into the front of his shirt, connecting to the solid muscle beneath. Electricity seemed to crackle out from her fingertips. 

She paused, eyes downcast for a moment as if she was working up the courage to say something, her little pink tongue darting out to wet her bottom lip

"Also," she murmured. 

He felt himself lean towards her, his gaze locked on her mouth. 

"Yes?" He whispered, close enough he could feel the heat of her skin.

Finally, she met his gaze, and Kylo felt a surge of heat lick down his spine. 

“Also, I think your house is haunted.”  
  



	3. In Which Somethings Are Cleared Up, But Mostly Everyone Is Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All! Here's chapter three! I hope you like it--things start getting a little more spicy in this one. As you can see, the tags have been updated accordingly. :D

Kylo jerked his head back, surprised coloring his features. "My house is not haunted."

Rey felt a blush spread across her cheeks. "It totally is!"

"Rey," he said, voice dripping with condescension. "Ghosts aren't real."

She squirmed against him, equal parts embarrassed and mad at his reaction--he didn't have to be such a condescending prick, did he? God his body was hard. She could feel his pecs under her hands and she felt like she was pressed up against a tree. In an effort to wiggle her wrists out of his grasp, she pressed forward--

_ Lord in heaven what is _ that?  _ Is he hard? _ Something firm and thick was pressed against her stomach as she leaned into him. 

"Let go of me," she managed to choke out, her blush spreading to the tips of her ears.  _ Oh my god. I got Professor Ren hard _ . 

Kylo seemed more than happy to, letting her go and taking a step back and flexing his hands into fists. She could just see a tinge of pink along his cheekbones. 

"My house is not haunted." He repeated, clearly ignoring the fact that they both knew she had felt his boner. 

Which was totally fine with her--she did  _ not _ want to acknowledge that his big, thick cock--NOPE! Moving on!

"Oh, yes it is. A door slammed for no reason--I wasn't even upstairs when it happened! And I could hear people talking. At first I thought the radio was gone a bit wonky, but it wasn't the radio."

Kylo ran a large hand through his dark hair, "it's an old house--it makes weird noises sometimes."

"Not those types of noises!" She insisted. 

Kylo shook his head and mumbled something under his breath that she couldn't quite catch before turning on his heel and striding into the kitchen. "Come on, you're sous chef tonight."

"Sous chef?" Rey echoed as she followed him in, storing the mop in the pantry before joining by the counter. It seemed their conversation about his house was over. Well.  _ How rude _ , she hrrumphed to herself. She supposed she couldn't make him believe though; not that she was even sure she knew what to believe. 

Ghosts weren't real, right? And yet...

He grabbed bell peppers, onions, and marinating steak from the fridge. "Yes. Now wash your hands."

Rey rolled her eyes, but did as he said. "Bossy."

Kylo set her up with a cutting board and a big chef's knife to chop the veggies into strips, while he worked at a different board with the meat. He already had a big cast iron skillet heating up on the stove. 

"So," he began, breaking through the silence. "What did you do today? Besides convince yourself my house is haunted."

She could hear the smile in his voice, even if she didn't look at him to confirm. 

"Your house is haunted," she insisted, bumping his hip with hers--she felt a fleeting moment of embarrassment at the unthinking touch, but then she saw him quirk up the corner of his mouth in a smile. "I cleaned--just the ground floor. I didn't go into your office, or anything."

_ Except you totally did, _ she chided herself.  _ You went into his bedroom and poked around.  _ She couldn't look at him though--he might see through her half truth. Hear heart stuttered when she hear his knife stop for a moment--as if he were considering the truth behind her words--before resuming its smooth rhythm. 

"You don't have to do that, Rey."

She shrugged, pushing aside the chopped onion and grabbing a bell pepper. "You're being so nice, letting me stay here. It's the least I can do."

"I have a housekeeper that comes in twice a week." He transferred the meat to the skillet, the pan making a loud hiss.

"Oh." She finished the first bell pepper and grabbed another one. "I could catalog your library books. Or, um, hang some Christmas lights."

"You don't need to do anything."

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment, before stealing a glance at him. He wasn't looking at her, but she could see the frown on his face. 

"I just feel like I should do something to pay you back." Rey felt her cheeks heat at the way her voice caught on the last word. Fuck, she was  _ not _ going to cry. It was these onions damn it--they were already chopped, but those fuckers were sneaky. 

Kylo stopped what he was doing and set the knife down before turning to face her. She stubbornly stared straight ahead, trying to make the last few inches of her pepper last longer. 

Silence stretched between them. She could feel his eyes on her, heavy, searching. After a long moment, his deep voice cut across the kitchen. 

"Rey, look at me."

The way he said her name made her stomach flipflop, but she took a deep breath and turned to face him, setting the knife down on her cutting board. He had his arms folded over his chest, his head cocked to the side. God he was attractive--she'd tried to ignore it, especially now that she was basically living with him. But those soulful eyes and aquiline nose, that full, lush mouth. It was fucking killing her. 

She wondered if his lips were as soft as they looked, if they'd feel as good against her own as she imagined. God, there had been a moment back in the hallway when she thought he might--but no, that was stupid. She was just some homeless undergrad--one of his students--he wouldn't in a million years think of her like that. 

"I'm only going to say this once, so pay attention." His low voice broke through her thoughts. "I don't want anything from you, okay? I don't expect you to repay me. You don't need to clean, or organize, or whatever. Just enjoy the holiday break. Once the semester starts we can work on finding you more permanent housing."

Rey felt tears prickled at the back of her eyes.  _ Fuck _ . She wasn't used to people being kind to her and not wanting anything in return. She couldn't think of a single time when someone hadn't had an ulterior motive for doing something for her. But if she could believe him, Professor Ren-- _ Kylo _ \--was doing just that. 

And God damnit if her body hadn't heated when he said "we". 

Without thinking, Rey closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. Kylo was frozen for a second, surprised it seemed, by her sudden show of affection. But after a moment she felt his arms wrap around her waist, and his cheek rest against the top of her head.

"We'll figure it out, Sunshine. I promise."

* * *

Hours later, Kylo lay in his bed, staring at the wooden carved canopy. As usual, sleep eluded him. It wasn't just anxiety about his tenure review sometime next semester, or the fact that the holidays were coming up which certainly meant a visit from his mother--not to mention how much she would try to get him to talk to  _ that man _ . No, for once he couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about a girl.

Well, not just any girl. He couldn't stop thinking about Rey. About the way she felt pressed against his body. She was so tiny compared to him--all long, slim limbs and gentle curves. Fuck, he should have felt like a hulking beast next to her, but instead, he felt strong,  _ powerful _ . Like he was meant to stand between her and the rest of the world. 

Jesus--what a load of shit. She was his student. Yes, he'd noticed her before. How could he not? She was so damn smart, always spoke up in class, always met his gaze head on unlike so many others. But now, now he had her living in his house--sleeping in the room right next to his for Christsake--he was already crossing so many lines. 

_ What's one more _ ? His traitorous brain whispered. Kylo groaned and rolled onto his back. 

Rey was so pretty. Beautiful, really. Like some winsome fae from a Celtic legend, sent to torment him with her bright hazel eyes and pert breasts. She'd been tormenting him since he'd first laid eyes on her, if he was finally being honest with himself. 

Before he knew what he was doing, Kylo felt his hand travel down his body, sweeping along the lines of his stomach until it slipped under his pajama bottoms to fist his aching cock. He hissed, giving himself a hard squeeze. With his other hand, he reached over to the bedside table to fumbled around in the drawer for his lube. 

God he wanted her--he shouldn't, on some level he knew that. But at the moment, all he could think about was how she moaned over the food me made her, and called him sir with such an unbeguiling tone of voice, he could almost believe she didn't realize how fucking  hard it made him. It had nearly killed him--with all his blood rushing straight to his cock, he almost passed out and hit his head on the quartz countertop--which was why he told her to call him Kylo. 

Not that hearing her say his first name in that pretty, delicate accent of hers was much better. 

"Fuck."

He thought about what she would look like, kneeling between his legs--in his office, maybe. She'd run those little hands up his thighs, while biting her bottom lip. 

"Can you suck your cock, sir?" She purred. 

Kylo grinned, running his fingers through her hair, down the graceful curve of her jaw to cup her chin. 

"What's the magic word, sweet girl?"

"Please." She luxuriated in his touch, catching his thumb with the corner of her lips and giving it a quick kiss. "Please sir, may I suck your cock?"

He groaned, eyes squeezed tight, twisting his wrist as he reached the head of his dick. In his fantasy, his pants were off, and he used the hand cupping Rey's face to guided her forward to where his erection stood thick and ready for her. 

She nuzzled against him, licking at his length like a kitten at cream, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses as she traveled up his cock, pausing here and there to suck a bruise against his velvet soft skin. Kylo pressed his fingertips into his hard flesh, trying to replicated the little bites of pain-pleasure. 

Rey let the tip of her nose run along the underside of his cock, following the trail with her tongue. Final, finally, she reached his head. Slowly, she sucked him into her mouth, hollowing her cheeks in the effort to take him without using her hands. Pleasure flooded his body, as he thought about what she would look like with his cock in her mouth. In his fantasy, his fingers tightened in her hair, gathering it away from her face. 

"Look at me, Sunshine." He commanded, his voice rough with lust. 

She did, flicking her gaze up to his as she moved down his cock, taking him deep into the wet channel of her mouth. Kylo let out a soft moan, briefly squeezing himself with both fists, trying to replicate the hot, engulfing suck of her throat as pleasure shot down his spine, settling low in his stomach. 

Rey pulled back, leaving his cock slick and dripping, before she began bobbing her head, finally reaching up to stroke the bottom half of this erection and fondle his heavy balls. Kylo reached down, cupping himself as she stroked faster, twisting and pumping as he imagined her moving up and down his length. The heat in his belly spread, flooding his limbs. His heart pounded, fast and hard like he imagined the rhythm of her mouth on his dick. 

Fuck he was close.  He felt his balls draw up, pleasure clawing its way up his shaft. So fucking close to coming down her throat. Instead, he imagined himself pulling out of her mouth with a lewd  _ pop _ . Wrapping one big fist around his cock, he stroked himself once, twice,  _ fuck _ . Thick ropes of spend shot from his aching shaft, covering her perfect, plump tits.

White icing on rosy mounds and berry bright nipples. 

Without being told to, Rey reached up and began rubbing the thick creamy liquid into her gold skin, scenting her body with  _ him _ . Her small hands cupping her breasts, rolling her stiff peaks until she gleamed with his come. Finally, she brought her hand to her mouth and licked her fingers clean one by one. 

In his own bed, Kylo fought to catch his breath, his come covering his chest, his hands shaking at the fantasy of Rey.

He was so totally fucked. 

* * *

Rey stared up at the silk canopy over her bed, unable to sleep though she'd turned in an hour ago. Last night she had been so tired, her head completely spinning from the day's events, that she'd fallen asleep right away. Tonight, though, she was wide awake. The bed was the most comfortable thing she'd ever slept in, except, well, it was so comfortable it  _ wasn't _ . Rey was used to mattresses so old and lumpy they weren't really much better than a hard floor--and, for that matter, she'd spent a good portion of her life sleeping on a floor as well.

She thought about going downstairs to the library and finding a book to read until she was tired enough to sleep anywhere, but after what happened this afternoon, she was hesitant to leave the safety of her ghost-free bedroom. 

Because whatever Kylo said, his house was 100% haunted. 

Rey felt a tremor of fear lace down her spine as she remembered the hushed voices and the thundering slam of the door.  _ Stop being dumb, Rey _ , she chided.  _ They won't act up with Kylo here...only when you're alone.  _

Comforting...sort of. 

With a snort of disgust at herself, she rolled on to her back, her thoughts drifting back to the man on the other side of the wall, er, closet. She hadn't planned on hugging him, but it had felt so...so  _ right _ . His arms around her, his big hands running up and down her back. He'd felt so warm, so solid. 

Rey shivered at the memory, her mind idly wondering what it would feel like if he was here, in her bed, running his hands all over her body. He'd be warm, of course. His big body curling around hers, his knees tucked into the back of her legs. One bicep would be pillowed under her head, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as the other trailed gently up and down her stomach. 

She let her fingers follow the pattern of his, up and down over her flat belly, whisper soft. Up a little further each time, pushing her loose tank closer and closer to the curve of her breasts. His warm breath against her neck, as he trailed hot, open mouthed kisses up along her jaw. 

Kylo's hand moved up further, to cup her. She mirrored her fantasy, her own hand sadly small compared to his. He squeezed her breast, her nipple pebbling against his rough palm, and she let out a high whine at the shock of heat it elicited. He rolled their bodies, so that she was on her back, staring up at him. She imagined him looking down at her, his thick, dark hair framing his handsome face. Until finally Kylo lowered himself to her chest so he could nuzzled her breasts. his big body covered hers, broad shoulder blocking out the rest of the world so it was only her and him, pushing her down into the mattress in the most wonderful way. 

"I love these," he murmured, nuzzling the delicate swell of her breast. "I could spend hours, kissing--" he kissed the smooth golden skin just below her nipple. "Licking--" his tongue dragged over her stiff peak. "Sucking--" before he sucked it into his mouth, and bit down finally releasing her pebbled peak with a  _ pop _ . "and biting them."

She was so hot between her legs, her arousal coating her thighs as she rubbed them together, fingers plucking her nipples sending shivers down her spine. In her fantasy, Kylo pressed a kiss to the middle of her chest, right over her heart, before trailing more caresses down her chest, her stomach, his wild dark locks tickling in his wake. 

He kissed down her hips, her thighs, nipping at the soft skin between her legs. Lower still, to the tuck of her knee and the curve of her ankle. 

"Every inch of you, Rey, is fucking perfect," he growled. 

Her fingers danced up her thighs, swirling against the soft skin between before settling against her folds. "Kylo--"

In her fantasy, her fingers became his. Her professor's long, thick fingers, stroked her entrance, gathering the wetness that pooled there, up, up, up, to her little bud. She let out a hiss as pleasure exploded through her body at the touch. She was so close, she just needed a little more from him. 

"Look at your pussy, Rey. So pink and pretty and greedy for my fingers," he rasped, his hot breath tickling her hip, before he swirled his tongue against the delicate skin covering bone. 

His fingers pushed inside of her, crooking in and  _ up _ , until he was hitting the spot she needed--the spot she could never reach on her own.  _ Fuck _ . Pleasure suffused her body as she imagined him fucking her with his hands, stroking, thrusting, until she was quivering, so close, so fucking close--

Kylo's lips pressed against her clit, sucking hard as he thrust into her, and Rey saw stars.

A weighty exhaustion spread throughout her body as Rey curled onto her side, hating herself a little bit for wishing Kylo was actually holding her. 


	4. In Which Kylo Ren Is A F*cking Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!! Here we go with chapter four! Thanks to everyone to who read, commented, gave kudos, or subscribed! I'm super pleased with myself this week, because I managed to get ahead of my writing schedule--I finished chapter 10 like midweek and started on eleven. I can't wait to share them with you (we'll get there eventually haha)! Anyway, here's chapter four.
> 
> Oh, also, if you're on tumblr, swing by my page if you're interested: QueenMelisende.tumblr.com (QueenoftheProcrastination is my main blog, but I'm rarely ever on it). Its mostly Reylo with a sprinkling of MCU, Westworld, art, and fashion.

Over the next week, Rey found, after she got over the weirdness of being in her professor's house, she enjoyed spending time with him--like they were normal adults, not a homeless nobody and a Ph.D. with a curiously posh lifestyle. She liked the quiet domesticity of sharing meals, or settling in on the sofa to watch a movie. 

Rey also found her attraction to him deepening. It wasn't  _ just _ that he was handsome and passionate and driven. He was  _ kind _ . And the way he touched her, sometimes. Just little things--brushes, really. It was like he couldn't help himself from reach for her.

_ But that's silly. You're a skinny nobody _ . She sighed, as she finished folding her laundry. 

As much as she wanted him, she couldn't tell how he felt about her. Maybe he was just touchy-feely. True she'd never seen him touch another student, but that was in the classroom. Maybe he'd be like this with anyone else. Shaking her head to clear the tangle of thoughts, she grabbed her basket and headed up to her room. 

Maybe she should just...go for it. The idea was attractive--just jump his bones one night after shrimp risotto and see what he'd do. Maybe she'd get lucky and he was just as into her as she was him. There were those touches after all. And sometimes, she thought he might be looking at her,  _ really _  looking. Besides, the idea of his big hands rubbing her ass while she straddled him made her whole body heat--

"Oomp!" Rey squeaked, her foot missing the next step. She managed to catch herself so she didn't go tumbling down the stairs. Rey looked around, embarrassed, before she remembered that Kylo was on campus that afternoon. 

Maybe instead of just launching herself at him, she could be more subtle. Touch him more--see if it drove him crazy the way he was driving her crazy. 

"Yeah, that's great Rey. Maybe you'll even get a kiss before you die of old age." She groused to herself. 

She made her way into her room and kicked the door closed behind her. As she set the basket on her bed the hair on the back of her neck stood up, like it had when she was snooping around Kylo's room. She froze, waiting for the odd feeling to pass, but when it didn't she felt a tremor of fear run down her spine.  _ Ghost _ . 

She spun around, expecting to see a hazy figure standing behind her, but the room was empty. Cautiously, she made her way over to the door, and peeked into the hallway--nothing. 

_ Okay, perhaps not. Perhaps you're being silly _ .

Letting out a sigh of relief, she turned back to the hamper on her bed. And that's when her bedroom door slammed shut with a bang so loud the windows rattled. 

"Christ!" Rey jumped, spinning around, frantically looking for  _ something _ to explain the noise. 

Before she could think to do anything else, the door to Kylo's bedroom slammed shut, loud like a shotgun, making her ears ache. Her heart jumped in her throat and Rey gripped the thick carved post of her bed like a lifeline. Silence fell in the house--heavy and ominous. Rey felt like she couldn't breath, like she couldn't move. 

The slow creak of hinges send a chill down her spine. And then she hear it. The soft tread of footsteps on hardwood floors. Another creak. She felt sweat break out across her forehead, but she couldn't move even though she desperately wanted to. 

Silence. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart. 

And then the doorknob to her closet began to turn. 

Rey scream and threw herself across the room, tugging on the doorknob of her bedroom--desperate to get into the hallway. The latch was sticky though, and she had to rattle it, frantic for it to turn. Behind her the closet door began to swing open. 

With a vicious tug, the the main door finally gave and Rey bolted down the stairs through the main hall and out onto the front porch. Her heart beating a staccato in her chest, her body drenched in cold, clammy sweat. 

"Rey?"

She spun around, hand clutched over her heart, to find Kylo standing in the driveway, holding one of those reusable grocery bags rich people liked. 

"Are you okay?" He took a step towards her. 

Rey knew she must look crazy, bursting out of the house, breathing heavily and hair a mess. "I, um...I saw a spider."

* * *

Kylo and Rey were sitting on opposite ends of the sofa late that Saturday morning. She was curled on her side, her little feet spread across his lap where he sat cross-legged, one of his hand resting on her ankle. Kylo wasn't quite sure when they'd gotten so familiar with each other, but it was harder and harder to keep his hands off of her. It was just little touches, he told himself, trying to rationalize it. A hand on the small of her back when she passed by; tucking loose tendrils of chestnut hair behind her ear; fingers brushing against hers while they cooked together.

She would touch him too, sometimes. And god, the feeling of her small hand on his body send fire blazing across his skin. She would tease him--bumping his hip with hers, or put her hand on his arm when she got excited over something they were talking about. 

Once she'd even grabbed his thigh. 

Which had been a close call, because all his blood suddenly rushed south, and her hand was only a few inches away from its destination. 

But as much as he wanted her, he knew he couldn't. She was his student--one that was currently living in his house because she had nowhere else to go. To do anything... _ untoward... _ would be taking advantage of her situation. 

She could always say 'no', but Kylo wasn't sure that Rey knew that. 

Currently, though, she was wrapped up in a big university hoodie and a pair of leggings, her hair pulled back into three messy buns. Kylo thought he must be losing his mind because he'd never seen a woman look more attractive. 

He knew he was staring, instead of watching the cartoons she'd gleefully put on the TV, but he couldn't help himself. From the delicate pink of her lips, to the sweep of dark lashes against her cheek, and the freckles that that spelled a constellation across bridge of her nose, he wanted to memorize every detail of her face.

She glanced at him, a blush tinging her cheeks. "What? Do I have breakfast on my face or something?"

Kylo shook his head, giving her ankle a little squeeze. "No! Not at all. Sorry, I was just...thinking."

"'Bout what?"

He scrambled to think of something that wasn't  _ how beautiful you are _ \--which,  _god_ how corny was that? He needed to get it together, dammit . "We should get a Christmas tree."

Rey sat up, eyes bright and clutching his forearm with both of her hands. "Really? Can we? I can't remember ever having a tree before!"

Kylo hadn't expected her to react so strongly. Honestly, he wasn't one for Christmas trees, or celebrating the holiday at all. But now that he saw how happy the idea made her, he suddenly found himself wanting a tree too.

He grinned back at her, her happiness infectious. "Sure, why not? I think I've got some old ornaments in the attic."

* * *

Rey could hardly contain herself as they drove to the tree farm outside of the city. She couldn't believe how lucky she was. A tree--an actual Christmas tree! She could kiss him she was so happy.

_ Oh _ . She glanced at him while he was concentrating on driving. He had really nice lips--full and cherry red. Not for the first time, she wondered what it would feel like to have them pressed against her. She licked her bottom lip, thinking about how he might do it--kiss her, that was. Would he be aggressive and dominant? Or soft? Would he let her take the lead? 

Somehow she didn't think so. 

Her staring must have been obvious, because he caught her eye and flashed a grin. 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Oh, um..."  _ fuck. _ "I was just thinking how amazing this is going to be. I've always had this picture of Christmas, you know--I mean, I'm sure it's all very cliche--but, the tree all decorated, hot cocoa on Christmas Eve before bed. A big breakfast Christmas morning before opening presents. Lazing around all day on Boxing Day."

She was babbling, but she couldn't stop herself. The last thing she needed was for him to guess that she had been fantasizing about kissing him.  _ Except isn't that was you decided to do? Be brave? Stop being such a pussy, Rey, and flirt! _

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, "have you never...done that?"

Rey felt herself flush. Shit, she hadn't meant to make herself sound like a weirdo who never did normal things. That was not the way to get what she wanted. "Er...no. I guess I never had the opportunity."

She was saved from more awkward conversation when Kylo pulled the car into the lot. They got out, and Rey tugged the zipper on her jacket up a little higher--it was cold out here in the country without the buildings to block the wind. After nearly two years of being up here, she still wasn't used to cold--no, she was built for heat. The sultry, lay around all day in your underwear type of heat. 

She followed Kylo to the little red shack set at the edge of the car park, where he got a little flag to put around the tree when they had decided. 

They walked side by side down the neat lines of planted trees, the world around them quiet save for the chatter of nearby families and the creak of snow under their feet. Somehow, he knew to start near the bigger trees--that she wouldn't want anything less than idyllic. 

"How about that one?" He said, pointing to a douglas fir about his height. 

Rey tilted her head, studying it. "Not tall enough."

"Alright, let's look over here." He put his hand on the small of her back as he led them to the next row over. 

Rey felt her entire body heat in the most delicious way when she realized he wasn't going to remove his hand. She could the feel the warmth of his palm through her coat and sweatshirt almost as if it was resting on her bare skin. She shivered, and pressed her body against his touch--not too much, but just enough to feel him fully. 

They looked at a few more that weren't quite right--not bushy enough, looks like it might die soon, too tall--when Rey finally saw it: the most beautiful, dark green tree, with big bushy bows that tapered to a delicate point about two feet above Kylo's head. 

She let out a squeal of delight before running over to the tree. "Look at this one, Kylo! Oh my god, it's perfect!"

"This is the one you want?" He asked as they circled around the tree to make sure it was beautiful from every angle.

Rey nodded, unable to speak from her excitement. Tossing another grin in her direction, Kylo looped the tag securely around a branch. He then ripped the bottom half off and tucked it in his pocket. As she watched him, she was struck by how handsome he looked in his long black coat, smiling at her, his dark hair stark against the snow. He didn't smile often, but when he did--it lit up his whole face. 

Rey suddenly felt a burst of pride at the fact that she had put that smile on his face. God, she wanted to spend the rest of her life getting him to smile. 

Without thinking, she rocked up on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "Thank you."

* * *

Kylo was willing to pay for the tree to be delivered and set up by the farm, but Rey insisted on doing it themselves. By the time they wrestled it onto the top of his car, then off of the car, and into the house, it was nearly time for dinner. Instead of pausing to make something though, they ordered pizza, and while they waited for the food to arrive, Kylo dug out the old totes of ornaments and lights that he'd stashed in the attic.

The entire time, Kylo tired not to think about the feeling of Rey's soft lips against his cheek. Because if he thought about it, he would never stop. He didn't understand how in the space of a week or so he could go from ignoring the fact that one of his smartest students was also the prettiest, to wanting to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her until they were both dizzy. 

Secretly he thought she might feel it too--this unexplainable tug towards each other. She had kissed him after all--although, it wasn't necessarily romantic, just a kiss on the cheek. Still, she  _ kissed _ him. 

But that was so dangerous to think. If he let himself believe that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her, well, what was to stop him? But he couldn't--they absolutely could  _ not _ . She was his student; anything beyond a strictly professional relationship was absolutely impossible. 

And yet...

And yet she was living in his house. Curling up with him on the couch to watch movies after they cooked dinner together every night. They picked out a Christmas tree together. Fuck, he didn't even really care to have a tree. But Rey did, and he wanted desperately to make her happy. To give her anything she could ever want. 

Including himself. 

Except for himself. 

Kylo groaned and slid both hands up his face, tugging at his hair. He was going to drive himself crazy thinking like this, around and around in circles. Maybe he should just go--

"Kylo!" Rey's voice called up from a few flights below, interrupting his thoughts. "The delivery guy is here!"

"Be down in a second!"

He grabbed the last of the Christmas totes and headed downstairs. He paid for their food and settled them in the living room, but Rey was too excited to sit still and eat. Instead she had a few bites of her pepperoni with veggies, and began digging into the ornaments. 

"Oh, these are so pretty!" She exclaimed, holding up a frosted white globe with silvery swirls and curlicues swooping over the surface. 

"Yeah, I think they're from Germany...they belonged to my grandmother."

"Your grandmother was from Germany?" She asked, looking up at him from where she kneeling on the floor. 

Kylo rubbed the back of his neck, trying to not to think about how much he liked her looking up at him like that. "Yes, well, from Naboo. One of those little kingdoms that was absorbed into the German empire in the late 1800s. It stopped existing after World War I, though." She looked so excited by a bit of family history that he found himself adding, "My mother was born in Alderaan, or, well, what was left of it after the second world war."

"That's so cool that you know that," Rey said,  grinning as she dug through the rest of the ornaments. "I don't know anything about where my family's from."

The note of sadness in her voice made his heart clench. She was welcome to his family history, if she wanted it. 

"I assumed you were English."

"Oh, well. I guess," she shrugged. "I mean, yeah, I suppose that makes sense. But I don't remember living there."

They lapsed into silence and Rey busied herself wrapping white lights around the tree. After a moment of watching her, Kylo stood up and began to help. Together they put on lights, garland, and the ornaments. Hands brushing occasionally as they passed things back and forth, Kylo felt a warmth settle in his chest as he looked at Rey's face lit softly by the Christmas lights. 

Finishing, they took a step back to admire their work. 

"It's missing something," she mused. 

Kylo tilted his head, studying the tree for a moment. "We forgot the topper. I think there's a star in the first bin."

Rey scrambled over to the bin in question and dug through it. After a moment, she made a little exclamation of triumph as she pulled a fine crystal star out of some newspaper. 

She bounded over to him and held the star out. "Here, you'll have to put it on. I can't reach the top."

Kylo looked down at her, at the sheer happiness on her face. He felt that warmth in his chest spread, out and over his body, warming him after so long of just existing. 

"We'll do it together," he said softly, before spinning her around and wrapping one arm around her thighs. 

Rey shrieked with delight and gripped his shoulder hard to keep herself steady. "Don't drop me!" She laughed. 

He hoisted her up, so that her pert bottom rested on his shoulder, and braced one hand against her stomach so she could lean forward. 

"I've got you, Sunshine. Don't worry."

Pressing against the hand at her stomach, Rey reached forward, carefully setting the topper on the highest point. She fiddled with it for a moment, making sure it sat right before leaning back. He could just see the curve of a satisfied smile on her face. 

With the utmost care, Kylo set her on the floor, letting her lithe body slid against his inch by inch until her feet touched the ground. The moment she could, Rey spun around, facing him. Her pupils were blown wide, the lights reflecting in their honey depth like the galaxy in the night sky. Her mouth was slightly open, her breath fast. 

Kylo could feel his pulse hammering against his throat as he settled his hands at her waist. God she was tiny compared to him. With his fingers splayed his hand nearly covered her entire stomach. And now he felt like he could encircle her waist, or very nearly. 

He wanted to kiss her, wanted to pull her close and never let go. And she looked like she wanted it too, staring up at him like that, her hands resting on his chest. 

But he  _ couldn't _ . They  _ couldn't _ . 

"Why were you sleeping in the library?" He blurted out, breaking the spell.

Rey's head jerked back, anger snapping in her hazel eyes. 

_ Fuck _ . He could kick himself. She clearly didn't want to talk about her situation, she'd made that clear enough. And though he thought she might be opening up to him, he really didn't want to push her. Rey fidgeted, leaning away from him slightly. She was looking at the tree again, and thought for a minute she might not answer him.

And then:

"You're a fucking idiot, Kylo Ren."

Rey shook her head, and pushed his hands from her waist. Stomping over to the hallway, she spared him one last look back before scrambling up the stairs. 

The sadness in that look nearly killed him. And Kylo knew she was right. 

He was a fucking idiot. 


	5. In Which Kylo Doesn't Know What the F*ck Is Going On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey early chapter this week *throws confetti*! Im going on a road trip starting tomorrow, and I wasn't sure if I'd have time / energy / internet to post at my usual time. So I figured why not post early? I hope you all don't mind :D
> 
> I'm going to slap a big old content warning on this one: brief discussion of past abuse. It's at the end--it's not graphic, or anything, but I wanted everyone to be aware. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit of a roller-coaster, I hope everyone likes it (I'm kind of nervous!)!

Rey stomped up to her room, seething. _Of all the stupid fucking questions he had to ask that one, didn't he?_

She had been so certain he was going to kiss her--so certain that their day of gentle touches and togetherness meant something.

That he felt this too.

Rey slammed her door closed and flung herself on the bed.

_ Why was I sleeping in the library? Because I'm homeless, you rich fuck. Because no one wants me. _

She covered her face, digging the heels of her palms into her eyes. Fuck, she was _not_ going to cry. Not because of this. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why he needed to know so badly. And she couldn't tell him--fuck, even the thought of it made her throat tight.

But… if she wanted, well if she wanted him, then maybe--

No! God, she couldn't tell him how she'd been tossed like garbage from one place to another. How she had never, ever been enough. Not for anyone. Not for her parents who left her so young. Not for the slew of foster families and homes she'd bounced between. Not her job here on campus.

No, she hadn't been enough for anyone. Why would she be enough for Kylo Ren and his perfect house and his perfect life? If she told him, he'd see that.

And then where would she go?

Rey jerked herself over to her side and drew her knees up to her chin. She could hear his footsteps on the stairs now. Getting closer. He seemed to pause at the landing, before she heard his feet pad towards her door. Rey felt her lungs freeze, felt the world around her slow to infinitesimal grains of sand. Was he going to knock? She could see him, in her mind, standing in front of her door, hand raised. Waiting.

But then his steps retreated, and she hear the gentle _snick_ of his door.

The corners of her eyes stung and her face felt hot. Rey reached up to touch her cheek, and realized she was crying.

* * *

_ Rey was walking through the house, searching for...something. She couldn't quite remember. But it was important. She had to find it. The walls were so hot though, and everything was dark but not dark. Orange. Red. Angry. _

_ Where was Kylo? Was that who she was looking for? _

_ "Kylo? Kylo, are you here?" _

_ She needed to find him--need to--God why was it so hot? _

_ "Shh, it's just a dream, just a dream." _

_ The voice was beautiful, kind. But very sad. Rey stopped her frantic search through the house, the walls melting away. She was on a beach, the sun warm on her face. She wanted to run into the water, to feel the salty spray on her skin. _

_ But something made her turn to the shore. _

_ A figure. A first she thought...she thought it might have been Kylo. But as she moved closer the figure shrunk until she was looking at a beautiful woman with thick, chestnut curls. _

_ "Everything will be alright sweetheart." The woman said, reaching a hand out to cup Rey's face. _

_ There was something--she was so familiar, yet at the same time not. _

_ "Momma?" _

_ Like someone she'd met in a dream. The woman smile, her eyes sad-- _

_ In a dream-- _

Rey jerked awake, but kept her eyes squeezed shut. No! She had to go back to--back to--back to her mother?

Rolling over onto her other side, she opened her eyes to check the clock, and let out a scream. Laying on the bed next to her was a dark figure, garbed in shadow and reaching for her. Cold fear descended on her, and Rey scrambled back, heart hammering in her chest. Turning the other way, she let out another scream when a second figure loomed behind her.

Her hand met air, and she tumbled over the side of her bed. The lights flew on and a second later the door slammed against the wall.

"Rey! What's wrong!?" Kylo demanded, bursting into the room.

Their eyes locked and Rey's brain screeched to a halt as she tried to process what she'd seen, and what she was currently seeing while memories of nights long past threatened to overwhelm her.

Kylo knelt next to her, reaching out for her, his hands trembling in hesitation. His skin was so warm against her shoulder, jolting her out of her memories. Rey threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. She could feel herself shaking but she couldn't figure out how to stop. She couldn't breathe--couldn't fucking breathe. All she could see was _that face_. She never wanted to see it again and now, now he was _here_.

Kylo wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "Just breathe Rey, just breathe."

She struggled to calm her breath, but instead ended up taking great heaving gulps of air. She could feel the skin of his neck was wet with her tears, but she couldn't find it in herself to do anything but burrow deeper against him as she reminder herself that _he_ wasn't here. It was just her and Kylo.

"There was...there was someone here. Two people, by my bed." She managed to shake out around chattering teeth. "In my bed."

One big hand cupped the back of her head, the other still rubbing up and down her back. "No one's here, Sunshine. It's just us."

She trembled, willing herself to believe his words. "Are you sure though? Your house is so large--there's so many places to hide. What if...what if--" She was babbling. She needed to stop but she couldn't keep the words from spilling out.

Kylo continued to stroke her hair. "There's no one in the house, Rey. Just you and me."

"But, I saw them--" she broke off, knowing she was on the verge of hysteria.

"Do you want me to check for you?" His tone was soft, the warm timbre flooding her body until she suddenly felt only exhaustion.

Weakly, she nodded. "Please."

Kylo stood, pulling her up with him. He herded her over to the bed. His palms were heavy on her shoulders as he pushed her to sit. "Wait here. I'll be back in ten minutes."

The fear threatened to engulf her again as he made to leave, and before Rey could even comprehend what she was doing, she reached for him. "Wait. Please--"

Her throat was tight, her skin flushed as she tried to find the words.

"Hey, shhh, Sunshine. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." He cupped her face, his dark eyes earnest.

She leaned into his touch, taking comfort in the heat of his skin, the subtle musky, warm scent of his skin. Rey licked her bottom lip, trying to find her voice. "I can...I'll come with you. If that's okay?"

Kylo nodded and slipped his hand in hers. "Let's go."

They slowly made their way through the house, room by room. Rey wasn't the least embarrassed by the way she clutched his hand; she could feel the tendons and sinews flex beneath her touch, and his strength comforted her. They searched his office and the game room, before heading down to the ground floor. As they rounded the mid-flight landing, Rey caught sight of them in the accent mirror...and realized for the first time that Kylo was shirtless.

How the hell had she not noticed that?

_ Oh, right. Panic attack inducing murderers...or ghosts. Whatever they were. _

She was feeling a little more settled, though she couldn't stop the trill of fear that skirted up her spine every time she turned her back on a darkened room. She knew they had just searched it--but every time the light switch flicked down the most primal core of her brain whispered that something was there. Watching.

Waiting.

Still, she appreciated that Kylo didn't once make her feel bad for needing to look through the house. The main rooms on the ground floor were clear, as were all the little nooks and crannies--old servants' passages, closets, bathrooms. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the house. The basement was empty. The second floor--where a few smaller, spare bedrooms sat empty--unnerved her. She could almost hear the chatter of children who might have once slept there.

But even in her jumpy state, Rey could admit that was probably no more than overactive imagination.

"That's everywhere." Kylo paused, glancing around the sparsely furnished hallway before settling his gaze on her. "Unless you want to check the attic?"

Rey bit her lip. She was starting to feel silly, but at the same time she'd seen enough horror movies to know that the serial killer was always hiding in the attic. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

Kylo nodded and led her over to a small doorway tucked away at the end of the hall. Beyond were a dark, rickety set of stairs.

"It's not really an attic," he mumbled, moving ahead of her. "It's the old servant's quarters."

Rey raised an eyebrow at that, but followed him silently up the stairs. When he reached the landing, Kylo flipped the lights on, but only one bare bulb in the center of the hallway flickered, casting long, dark shadows on the small rooms that lined the length of the house.

She shivered, and moved closer to him.

As they made their way methodically through the top floor of the house, Rey couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched. It was stronger each door they opened, each room they looked into. The empty spaces, the skeletal furniture, it felt sinister. 

Hungry. 

By the time they reached the last two rooms, she was clutching Kylo's hand for dear life, certain he could hear her heart thumping against her ribs.

Kylo reached forward to open the second to last door.

_ SLAM _ . The door behind them whooshed open before thundering closed. Rey yelped spinning around. At the same time, Kylo grunted as the door in front of him was flung open. A book had come flying out of the darkness, hitting him in the gut as he doubled over.

The light above flickered, faster and faster until it began glowing hot, bright, BLINDING. _Chseeeee_. White hot shards of glass explored around them. Rey flung her arms over her face, trying to shield her eyes as Kylo crouched over her. All around them the doors began to slam in fury.

THUD THUD. THUD THUD. THUD THUD.

A chair from the other end of the hall flew towards them. Kylo shoved Rey, pinning her to the ground with his body as the heavy piece flew past them, shattering above their heads in a cloud of splinters. Their eyes met, disbelief clear on his face, before she saw his jaw set with resolve. Standing, Kylo scooped Rey up in his arms and sprinted for the stairs. The lights all throughout the house were flickering now, and all the dishes and knick-knacks rattle like a train was going by.Taking the stairs two at a time he kicked the attic door closed behind him, before running to the main staircase and down to the first floor. He kicked his bedroom door open, before slamming it closed with his shoulder. In a swift move, he tossed Rey on the bed before turning to shove his dresser across the door.

Rey was gasping, her heart in her throat. With a trembling hand, she pointed at the closet door. "That one too!"

Kylo obliged, shoving a tall chest of drawers in front of the closet before collapsing on the bed next to her.

Chest heaving, he covered his eyes with one tense forearm. "What the fuck?"

As soon as his body hit the bed, the house beyond them was silent so that only the sounds of their heavy breathing broke the gentle whistle of the wind outside.

Rey struggled to catch her breath. "I told you your house was haunted."

Kylo slowly lowered his arm from his face and stared at her before letting out a loud bark of laughter. "Jesus. Apparently you were right."

His words seemed to break the spell around them, and the events of the past hour seemed surreal in the distance between now and then. Rey shoved him playfully. "It's not fucking funny, Kylo. We almost got crushed to death by a possessed chair."

He snorted, laughing harder. "It's a little funny."

Rey huffed, and grabbed one of the pillows behind her, smacking him in the stomach.

"Hey!" He launched himself up, grabbing the other end of the pillow, wrestling it away from her.

Rey squealed as Kylo playfully thumped her on the arm. She tried to snatch it back, but she lost her balance, tumbling backwards into the soft comforter. At the last moment, she latched a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down on top of her.

Kylo landed with a soft thud, somehow managing to brace himself on one arm so he didn't crush her beneath his bulk. Rey squirmed under him, their legs tangling together.

"You're an asshole, Kylo Ren," she snapped, though there was no real heat behind her words.

Kylo chuckled, and Rey swore she could feel that warm sound reverberate right in her very bones.

"You like me though," he whispered.

She felt the breath whoosh from her lungs, and her eyes snapped to his like a magnet. His face was shadowed by moonlight, but she could see his eyes: impossibly dark and _hungry_.

"I...well...ye--"

Before she could finish her thought, Kylo kissed her.

* * *

Kylo didn't know what the fuck was going on. Not with his house, not with what he was willing to believe. But he knew one fucking thing, and that was that Rey was in his bed, beneath him and they had just experienced... _something_ together.

So he kissed her.

Her mouth was impossibly soft, her body so warm and pliant under him. Rey whimpered, her lips nudging against his as if she couldn't get enough of his taste. Kylo cupped her face, revelling in the feeling of her silken skin against his rough fingers. The kiss went on and on, a continuous gentle brush of lip against lip, until her little tongue peaked out, seeking his. Kylo opened his mouth, letting her in, and he couldn't stop the deep moan that rumbled through his chest at the feeling of her fingers sliding through his hair.

He bent his knee, drawing his leg up to hook over her hip, so that he could brush her calf with the side of his foot. God he wanted to touch every inch of her, explore every bit of this soft, sweet girl in his bed.

It was so nice, kissing her like this. He felt no insistence to paw at her breasts or fuck her (okay, well he _did_ , but that was for later. Now was for exploring her mouth, the feel of her skin on his. Nothing more. Nothing less). He wanted to savor this. He was so tired of fighting himself when it came to her. Kylo needed this kiss, needed her sweet mouth moving with this as they explored each other.

Slowly, he pulled away, nuzzling his nose along her own. Rey was breathing heavily, looking a little dazed. Dazed, but smiling.

Kylo rolled onto his side and pulled her into him, settling her in his arms. She went willingly, snuggling into his big body. God she was tiny compared to him, but she fit against him like they were made for each other.

"Kylo?" Rey ventured, voice sounding unsure. She looked as if she was working up the courage to say something.

"Yeah, sunshine?" They were face to face in his bed, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching forward to cup her cheek, from smoothing soft locks of hair behind the delicate shell of her ear.

"I grew up in foster care, you know," she started, her words halting. "I don't really remember my parents. They died when I was six, as far as anyone could figure." Another pause, her eyes downcast and her lashes a dark blur against the pale of her cheek. His heart squeezed at her words. He wanted to draw her closer into his arms, but he was afraid to move, afraid to break the spell that allowed her to confide in him.

"There was no one to take me in, so I got bounced into the system." She was gnawing on her lower lip, still plump and red from his kisses. "The university gives full tuition remission for former foster kids, but not room and board. I had a job with custodial services on campus--so I was able to rent a room at Stardust Motel on a weekly basis. I wanted to get a second one--job that is--but with classes, I just didn't have the time."

Kylo frowned. The Stardust was a dilapidated motel on the other side of town from campus, known best for hosting hookers and junkies. The thought of _his_ Rey in that place made his blood boil. Fuck, he should have noticed that she wasn't safe in the dorms like all her peers.

He should have done something sooner. He opened his mouth to speak, but she finally _finally_ met his gaze.

"Please, I need to say this before I lose my nerve."

Kylo nodded and gave into the need to squeeze her tight, hoping she needed it as much as he did.

"With the semester ending, my job was suspended until spring. My friend Finn said I could crash on his couch, but his landlord came over one day and found me there. He said they couldn't have another person on the lease and if I didn't leave, they would all be evicted. I couldn't do that to my friends. They didn't need my burden. Hence the library."

He was at a loss for words--fury at the complete injustice of her situation and at himself for not doing something sooner, battled with admiration for her. God she was strong, always able to figure out something, to take care of herself. 

He was so fucking mad that she had to though.

"I'm sorry, Rey. I wish I could have--" he broke off, pressing his face to the curve of her neck. "Fuck, I wish I had known."

"It's not your fault, Kylo." She murmured, carding her fingers through his hair as if to give comfort to him. _Him_. Fuck. She was the one he should be comforting.

"Anyway, tonight well...I have some...bad memories from foster care. And whatever was in my room," she stumbled, a note of fear crawling back into her voice. "A dream, or _ghosts_. It made me think of some of my worst nights."

A chill ran up his spine, tapping into the worst memories that he kept locked away. "Were you--" _raped_? He didn't say the word.

She shook her head. "It never went that far."

The tone of her voice made it apparent that how _far_ it went didn't matter.

The damage had been done.

Kylo took a deep breath as so many emotions crashed over him--anger, _fury_ , protectiveness. And memories too. Shame--hot, burning shame.

He could see tears gathering in the corner of her eyes as he struggled to find words. She had exposed a part of herself to him--a part he suspected she kept locked away and hidden from the world. He needed--Christ, he needed, no, _wanted_ to do the same.

"I..." he stopped, taking a deep breath his jaw working as he chewed over his words, trying to remember what his therapist taught him. "I was...groomed. As a child. By my father's business partner."

Kylo heard the hitch in her breath as her eyes widened, the tears that had gathered there during her own confession finally spilling down her cheeks. "Oh, _Kylo_."

“He was always around, you know, a friend of the family. There wasn’t a time when he wasn’t there, in the background. He...did things to me.” He swallowed, choking down his more venomous thoughts, working his jaw around the heavy feeling of the words on his tongue. “Until I was too old for him. Then he threw me away like garbage.”

Rey let out a broken sob as she cried for the children they had once--or perhaps never--been. Before he knew what was happening, she pulled him close, twining their bodies together. Whether she was seeking comfort, or seeking to comfort him...well, it didn't matter. They were body to body, skin to skin, heart to heart, her fingers stroking up and down his spine, his hands covering her back. They held each other, their breathing syncing, until they both drifted into sleep.


	6. In Which Kylo and Rey Are Awkward and Adorable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Happy Friday! I'm back from Nola and only had a mild tangle with a hurricane. Sorry I wasn't able to reply to all your lovely comments on the last chapter; I've been swamped between the road trip and preparing for my upcoming exam (on Monday! Yikes!). But a big thank you to everyone who commented, subscribed, left kudos, or just enjoyed my story! 
> 
> This was one of my favorite chapters to write so far, so I hope you enjoy it too!

 Rey woke slowly, cocooned in peaceful warmth around her like a cat in an afternoon sunbeam. The warmth around her shifted, pulling her closer and she willingly burrowed deep into the blankets. She wondered how long she'd slept. After last night--

Rey's eyes popped open. Last night had been a fucking roller coaster of emotions, and thinking back, she could hardly believe it had been real. Had they really experienced something straight out of a horror movie? It had all seemed so real--and terrifying--last night, but in the soft morning light, Rey felt like she couldn't trust her own memories. Was it all a dream?

No. It couldn't have been. For one, she was currently in Professor Ren's bed, curled up against him like a barnacle. Her head was pillowed on his chest, one arm and leg thrown over his body. One of his arms was curled around her shoulders, holding her close to his side, his other hand resting at her hip. 

Her heart kicked into overdrive as she realized how intimate they were. Not only were they twined together, she was hardly dressed--a pair of cotton shorts, a tanktop. No bra, no panties. Kylo wasn't much better. He was shirtless, with a pair of sleep pants slung low on his hips (she knew this because she was pressed against his tree-trunk of a thigh, with only a few thin layers of cotton between them). And last night--

Oh, god. She'd told him  _everything_. Well, not the details. But enough. He  _knew_. That thought alone almost had her pulling away, ready to scamper back to her room and maybe never come out. 

But then she remembered what he had told her too. Maybe...maybe he understood. He certainly hadn't seemed disgusted with her. 

And that kiss! 

Rey flushed just thinking about it. About his soft lips against hers, their tongues exploring, the feeling of him pressing her into the mattress. She could totally spend the rest of her life kissing Kylo Ren. She shifted, squirming a little, trying to diffuse the heat that flooded her body as she remembered the previous night. Except doing so mean that she rubbed against Kylo's leg, catching the soft, warm juncture of her thighs against his hard muscle, causing pleasure to shoot up her spine. Rey let out a soft gasp, as awareness suffused her body. Her nipples hardened and wetness flooded between her legs--

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP

Kylo twisted out of bed, grabbing his cellphone off the nightstand and silencing the blaring alarm. Rey suddenly felt a flood of embarrassment. Holy shit, she had practically been humping his leg. Pressing her face into the pillow, she prayed to god that he hadn't noticed. Fuck, this was so embarrassing. Maybe if she just pretended to be asleep, he wouldn't say anything. 

She could hear him fumbling around in the room, no doubt getting dressed. After a long moment she felt the warmth of his hand on her shoulder. "Sunshine--I've got to get to the office. We've got a department meeting, or else I'd skip."

His voice was deep and gentle; just hearing it made part of her anxieties melt away. 

Summoning up the courage to roll over, she gave him a sleepy smile. "Morning."

 He brushed some hair out of her face. "Morning."

His dark, soul eyes were fix on hers, and Rey felt like she couldn't breath. She licked her lips, desperately trying to think of something to say. "Did last night really happen?"

"Yeah, I think it did," Kylo said with a frown.  "You'll be alright here today? I could take you into town if you'd rather not be here." 

Part of her wanted to, but she was afraid of making things awkward for him if anyone were to see them coming or leaving campus together. 

She shook her head, "Too early."

"Go back to bed then," Kylo murmur, running his fingers down the side of her jaw. "I'll be home around 5. We can talk about this tonight."

Rye nodded, but he was out the door, banging around in his bathroom. She couldn't help the no doubt goofy smile that spread across her lips and she pressed herself into the sheets. God he was sweet. And so was his bed because she was half asleep when Kylo came back to say goodbye. His thick dark hair tickling her face when he leaned over the bed to brush a kiss across her lips. Rey wanted to pull him down for more, but by the time her sleep-heavy limbs reached for him, he was already gone.

* * *

  _We can talk about this tonight_. Christ, what had Kylo meant by that? By 10 am Rey had herself worked up into a tizzy. And not only because of those ominous words. Despite her protests this morning, being in the house by herself was freaking her out. When she'd finally roused herself out of bed--Kylo's bed, holy shit--and made her way to the bathroom, she'd found a surprise outside the bedroom door. She'd nearly tripped over the heavy black book. The same book, she was pretty sure, that had knocked the wind out of Kylo last night when it can come flying out of the storage room. Just looking at the thing gave her the heebie-jeebies, so instead of picking it up, she'd kicked it under an accent table. 

Which led Rey to where she was currently, pacing back and forth in her room, trying to calm herself down. But the second any thoughts about hauntings and ghosts left her mind, she snapped back to Kylo's words. What did he want to talk about? About the fact that they kissed? That she'd slept in his bed? Was he having second thoughts? 

God, if only she had  _any_  experience with men-- _normal_  men and relationships--

Wait! She might not have any experience, but she knew someone who did. Rey hustled over to the little writing desk in the corner of her room and booted up her old laptop. She didn't have a cellphone--too expensive, but her friend Baz was usually on facebook. Rey impatiently drummed her fingers on the desk as she waited to connect to the wifi. Finally, she was on facebook and as luck would have it, Bazine was available.  

**[Rey]**  Hey Baz! Can I ask your advice? It's about a guy...

Rey didn't have to wait more than a few seconds before her friend's reply popped up. She read it with a smile, already able to hear Baz's voice in her mind. 

**[Bazine]**  Oooh, girl DISH. 

**[Bazine]**  wait, are you near campus? We can get coffee

Rey groaned as she read over the message and wished she had taken Kylo up on his offer to take her to campus now. Rubbing the back of her neck and glancing at the doorway of her room, she quickly typed back. 

**[Rey]**  I'm not. I could get a cab???

**[Bazine]**  Pfff. I'll come get you. Don't have a client until 8 anyway. 

**[Bazine]**  Where are you? Startdust?

Rey grinned. Baz was going to have a field day when she told her where she was currently living.

**[Rey]**  No. Long story--I'll fill you in. Give me a hour to get dressed?

An hour and a half later, Rey found herself in an overly frou-frou cafe--pardon,  _tearoom_ \--at the one five start hotel in town. Her friend Bazine sat across from her in an overstuffed armchair, their pot of coffee, tray of sweeteners and creamer perched on a tiny marble table. Baz was probably the most beautiful woman Rey had ever met, though not in a traditional sense--her features were too feline to be called pretty, but she had a presence that made everyone in the room look at her. Like some sort of Greek goddess. 

"So, my dear, tell me absolutely everything about this man," Baz purred before taking a sip of coffee. "Is he the fellow that owns that lovely house?"

Rey took a gulp of coffee, trying to buy time to figure out how to explain the situation with Kylo. "Well, yes. But I haven't--well, okay. So it's complicated."

Baz arched one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "Do tell."

"So, he's a professor at the university...my professor actually. But, so I ended up losing my room at the Stardust and he offered me a place to stay. It's just been sort of building up and well, last night he kissed me." Rey rushed out. 

The other woman processed Rey's news without so much as a blink. "You could have stayed with me, Rey. You know you only have to ask."

Part of Rey was relieved that that was the part of her story Baz commented on. It was somehow easier--though she knew her friend wouldn't judge her, regardless of what she was doing with her professor. 

"Oh, well. I didn't want to bother you. Really, I would have been fine if Kylo--er, my professor hadn't offered his guest room."

Baz gave her a pointed stare, but let the topic drop. "So, he kissed you. I have to admit, I was imagining a touch more, considering you're living with him." She waved an elegant hand. "Ah well. Was it any good?"

Rey flushed, and she was certain it didn't have to do with the hot coffee, as a rush of wetness pooled between her thighs at the thought of Kylo's kisses. "Oh, um, yes. Definitely good." 

"And you want him to do it again?" Baz prompted. 

"Well, he did. I mean, he kissed me this morning before going to work."

God. She sounded like such a child.  _He kissed me_. But then again, her professor had kissed her, while she was sprawled out beneath him in his  _bed_. It was a tad more scandalous with all the details, she thought.

"My dear," Baz began, setting her cup down on a matching saucer. "I fail to see what the problem is then. I'm assuming he'll continue to kiss you and you'll continue to enjoy it."

Rey hesitated. "Well, when you put it that way...But this morning he said 'we'll talk'. What the fuck does that mean?"

She heard a gasp behind her, and Baz coughed delicately into her napkin though Rey was certain she was hiding a laugh. Okay, so swearing in this place wasn't the greatest idea. 

"What if he realizes it was a mistake?"

Baz didn't say anything for a while, simply pursed her lips and tapped one elegant nail against the table. "You said he was older than you, yes?" When Rey nodded, the other woman continued. "I wouldn't worry too much, my dear. He's probably going to bring up the 'what are we? where is this going' talk."

Rey choked on her coffee. "So soon?"

"I imagine so. It's not like your circumstances are entirely normal, after all. Best get things cleared up. Anyway, what you need to do now is think about what you want in this relationship."

"I don't know if it's even a relationship, technically." Rey said, sheepishly, feeling very immature next to Bazine's cool grace and poise. Maybe Kylo should date Baz, Rey thought. She was sophisticated and beautiful. Rey was... a skinny nobody. 

_Stop that, Rey. Kylo kissed you. Not Baz. Besides, Bazine doesn't date. She's too busy with her clients._

"Darling, he moved you into his house. It's a relationship."

They spent the next hour chatting about Rey and Kylo, about their lives--though Baz was, as usual, discrete. As they were beginning to leave, Bazine pulled a small clutch from her larger purse and began rummaging around. After a moment, she withdrew a foil pack and two small bottles. 

"Here, Rey. I want you to be properly prepared for your next round of kisses in your professor's bed."

Rey's eyes widened when she realized what the other woman was giving her: condoms and lube...flavored lube by the look of it. She quickly stuffed them in her worn leather purse. 

"Ah, thank's Baz. I'm not sure..."

Baz waved Rey's words away and gave her a wink. "A girl should always be ready."

Baz insisted on going to get their nails done--"darling, your cuticles. Believe me, this is necessary." And after that, a late lunch. By the time Baz dropped Rey off at Kylo's house, it was nearly 4pm. Rey gave her friend a hug over the center console. 

"Keep in touch, dear. I want to hear how things work out with your handsome professor." 

Rey grinned, "I will."

"And do let me know if you get up to any shenanigans--I'm telling you, any man who went through the trouble of getting a PhD harbors some naughty schoolgirl fantasies. I'm dying of curiosity."

Rey laughed, but couldn't help squirm in her seat at the thought of Kylo bending her over his desk. "Will do Baz."

The other woman reached over a smoothed some hair behind Rey's ear. "And Rey, you know if you ever need anything, you have only to call." Sensing the affection was making Rey uncomfortable, Baz snapped her sunglasses on. "Now, darling, do get out of the car. I've got a client to get ready for."

Rey scrambled out, grabbing her purse and waving goodbye as Bazine sped off. Digging around in her purse for the keys, Rey made her way up the front walk. Surprisingly though, the front door was unlocked. Rey could swear she had locked it on her way out, but apparently not. Ugh, maybe it was more ghosts. She shuddered--only an hour before Kylo would be home. She could manage being alone for an hour right?

 Making her way into the entrance hall, she dropped her purse on the table and shrugged off her coat. She hung it up on the hook, but unfortunately her sleeve caught on her purse string, sending the old bag flying across the floor. All her things spilled out, the bottles of lube and condoms included. 

"Shit." Rey cursed, dropping to her knees to scoop her things back in the bag. 

She grabbed the condoms but sent the lube skittering across the floor. Rey crawled after it, hand stretched out to snatch it up when it came to stop against a shoe. A woman's shoe. Rey looked up slowly, her eyes tracking an ankle, a leg, body and then the pursed lips of a somehow familiar woman. 

"So, I take it from the lube you're having sex with my son?"

* * *

 Kylo tapped his pen against his notepad, trying desperately to listen to Dr. Hux drone on about enrollment rates and departmental budgets. Hux, a skinny ginger, was only a few years older than Kylo, but had yet to earn tenure. Rumor was that the department would only tenure one of them, and so Hux had thrown himself spectacularly into ass-kissing the department chair. Hux was only an average scholar, in Kylo's opinion, and apparently his teaching evals were shit, but his father had been a big name in the field, and so, as far as Kylo could figure, Hux had been given a shot at tenure partially on prestige of his name. 

Which was why Kylo had changed his the minute he'd turned eighteen. 

Instead of listening to Hux go over how many boxes of printing paper and staples they'd gone through last month, Kylo couldn't help but let his mind drift back to Rey. Rey in her little shorts and tiny top, curled up in his bed with soft, messy morning hair. Her warm body wrapped around him in sleep. Fuck, he wished he could have stayed home today. They could have spent all morning exploring each other, and all afternoon too. 

Maybe they would have eventually made it down to the kitchen and he'd make them breakfast--french toast with fresh berries. He'd feed her fruit with his hands, and when the sweet juice ran down her chin, her throat, he'd lick it away. The image of Rey bent over the kitchen island, her shorts hanging off one foot as he fucked her from behind flashed through his mind, causing his cock to swell. Kylo shifted in his seat, trying to get a more comfortable position, but it hardly helped when all he could think about was flipping Rey onto her back and licking maple syrup off her tits while they fucked each other senseless. 

"Ren, does that work for you?"

Kylo snapped out of his fantasy, and scrambled to rewind his colleagues conversation to see what the hell he'd just been asked. "Yes, sir. The first week of semester is good for my tenure review."

"Excellent. We'll pick back up then."

Kylo hurried out of the meeting the moment it was dismissed, hoping to god that Hux wouldn't corner him to talk about editing manuscripts or whatever the fuck got the scrawny ginger hard. He managed to make it to his car without catching anyone's eye. throwing the vehicle in drive, he made his way through town. Kylo thought about giving Rey a call to let her know he was coming, but that was a little weird wasn't it? 

They weren't technically dating. But kind of. Damnit. He needed to talk to her. Iron things out. After last night it was apparent keeping away from her wasn't an option anymore, so it followed that they needed to figure out what they were doing. 

Besides hopefully each other. 

He wondered what Rey had done all day. Had she thought about him? The way he had thought about her? 

_Or maybe she spent the day freaked out because my house is fucking haunted_. Shit. Kylo had been trying to forget about last night--well before the kiss, anyway. Forget about what led them to his bed. Jesus, nothing like that had ever happened before. Sure the house was old and creaky. But fuck, a chair had almost taken his fucking head off. 

Maybe he should have been more insistent that Rey come to campus with him. But then what would have happened if someone like Hux, god forbid, had seen them together? 

Plus Kylo wasn't sure he would be able to keep his hands off of her. 

By the time he made it to the house, Kylo hadn't come up with any concrete solutions to his ghost problem, or how to get Rey out of the house more. But his anxiety was ratcheted up from thinking in circles over everything. 

Finally he pulled up into his driveway and took the front steps two at a time. 

"Hey Sunshine!" He called, pushing open the front door. "What do you think about ordering sushi tonight? You said you wanted to try i--what the hell? Mother?"

Kylo's mother, Senator Leia Organa was perched on the edge of his sofa, a teacup in hand. Rey sat on one of the chairs, eyes wide and looking shell shocked. Christ. What the fuck had his mother been telling her?

"Ben! How wonderful for you to join us. Heaven's above look at that hair. You really ought to get it trimmed." 

Rey's head had snapped towards Leia at the sound his name, but now it swiveled in his direction.  _Ben?_  She mouthed behind his mother's back. Well shit, he supposed he ought to explain that. 

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come say hello!" Leia barked. 

Kylo snapped out of his shock and made his way over to the two women. He kissed his mother's cheek before standing awkwardly next to the coffee table, staring down at them. He didn't think Rey would appreciate it if he kissed her in front of Leia, and besides, he wasn't sure he wanted to share that part of him--share Rey--with his mother any time soon. Not when everything was still so new and fragile. 

Not that she wouldn't sniff it out sooner or later though.

"You didn't tell me you were coming," he managed to grit out. 

Leia waved her hand, dismissing his concern. "Now Ben, it's Christmas. Of course I'm coming to visit you. I was surprised to see you had company, but dear Rey here has been telling me about herself."

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose. Shit! Leia coming here meant...well, he didn't know what it meant. But it was definitely going to throw a wrench in his plans. He couldn't very well seduce Rey with his mother in the house--she was an obnoxiously light sleeper and nosy as hell. 

"Er," Rey cleared her throat. "You said something about sushi?"

Leia clapped her hands. "What a wonderful idea. Let's go to that marvelous place on in Easthaven, Vine is it? My treat!"

Jesus Christ. This was Kylo's nightmare. 


	7. In Which Dinner Is Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday everyone! Sorry this is a bit later than usual, I flew to London yesterday and got in around 6am local time. I'm all discombobulated, haha. But here we go, chapter seven! Thanks to everyone to commented, subscribed, left kudos or just read and enjoyed my story last week!

Rey's head was spinning. Senator Leia Organa-Solo, possibly the most famous woman in America besides Beyonce, was Kylo's mom?! And his name apparently wasn't Kylo Ren, but Ben. Ben Solo? Ben Organa? 

She didn't even know his real name. Fuck. She felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach. 

Leia stood and breezed past her son and Rey into the entryway before turning to look at them. "Well come on, I'm starving."

Rey and Kylo stared at each other as the older woman left the house. And as confused as she felt, Kylo looked just as blind-sided. Clearly he hadn't expected his mother to drop in the way she had, though from the tick of his jaw, she thought it might not be the first time the Senator had done so. 

"So, your name is Ben?" She ventured, feeling totally adrift. 

Kylo rubbed the back of his neck. "It's a long story."  

As if he realized he was giving away his nervousness, he dropped his hand before reaching for her. His fingers brushed along her jaw. "I'll explain later?"

Rey nodded. She supposed now wasn't the time to get into it. And anyway, her brain seemed much more occupied with  trying to memorize the feeling of his touch on her skin. 

Still, she took a step back. "By the way, your mum thinks we're having sex. My friend gave me a bottle of lube and it fell out of my purse." 

With that, she scurried out of the house. 

Leia was waiting for them at the car and gave Rey a smile when she came over to the passenger side. "Rey, you take the front seat. I'm so used to being ferried around, it's unnerving to be up front."

Surely Leia would want to sit up front and spend time with Kylo, Rey thought. She wasn't so sure she liked the idea of Senator Organa deferring to her. It just seemed so...wrong. 

"Are you sure? I don't mind sitting in the back if you want to spend more time with Kyl--er, Professor Ren."

Leia waved her hand dismissively. "Sit up front, honey."

Rey looked over the top of the car at Kylo hoping he would supply the voice of reason, but unluckily for her, he just shrugged and unlocked the car with the key remote. "There's no arguing with her."

"Damn right." Leia said with a laugh, sliding into the back seat.

Rey followed suit, and buckled up. She glanced over at Kylo, who seemed to be grinding his teeth. Ben. It fit him, in a way. Though Kylo did as well. 

No one spoke as they backed out of the driveway and Rey fiddled with the radio, hoping to combat some of the silence. 

Except for the radio, no one spoke the whole way to the restaurant. Kylo's irritation at his mother was a black cloud brewing in the driver's seat, and Leia's rapid tapping on her cell phone seemed to just put him more on edge. By the time they finally pulled into the parking lot, Rey practically threw herself out of the car, and dashed ahead to request a table from the hostess. If either Kylo or Leia thought her behavior was odd, they didn't say anything as they were led through the dining room. 

Finally, they were seated at a smaller table partially separated from the rest of the dinning room by silk folding screen. Kylo took his seat across from Rey, while Leia sat between them. The hostess took their drink order and left them with menus. Rey quickly cracked her's open, peering at the elegant pages of options, studiously ignoring the tension between the others. 

"So, mom, how long are you staying?" Kylo asked after giving his menu a cursory glance. 

Leia didn't even glance up from looking at her own. "I'll stay until Christmas, then go to Luke's. You're welcome to come too, Ben. Everyone would be so happy to see you."

Rey glanced over the top of her menu, wondering what Kylo's response would be--he hadn't sounded happy at the prospect of his mom staying for any length of time, judging on the tone of his voice. His jaw was clenched, and she could see his knuckles turning white at the edge of the table. He must have seen her move, because his gaze switch from his mother to her, and their eyes locked. Rey raised her eyebrows, asking a silent question. Kylo nodded, and took a deep breath, before relaxing his hands just a bit. When he spoke his tone was calmer, though still reminiscent of addressing a particularly difficult student.

"That's not going to happen."

"You could even bring Rey." Leia continued, as if she didn't notice the frost in her son's tone. Instead she toss a smile Rey's way. "You'd love it, I'm sure. I have dinner catered in for the family and our friends. You wouldn't have to worry about anything--I have stylist come in with outfits, hair, makeup, the works."

Rey opened her mouth to politely decline--the whole process sounded...overwhelming. But Kylo cut in. 

"Leave Rey alone, mother." He turned his gaze from his mom to Rey again. "When she says friends and family she means politicians and lobbyist. They either want something from her or she wants something from them. It's horribly tedious."

"Oh now Ben, don't be so cynical. You'll scare the poor girl off." Leia snapped, her smile wavering for a moment. She paused, regaining her composure. "Besides, it's not all business. The Pavas and Damerons will be there. And of course, your father and Uncle Chewie."

The whole mood of the table suddenly plummeted and Rey glanced up sharply at the man across from her. Kylo looked like he was seconds away from crushing his whiskey tumbler, his his face flushed red. Rey had never seen him so angry before. Every one of her instincts was screaming at her to divert the conversation, so she said the only thing she could think of. 

"I've never had sushi before. Can you recommend something for me, Senator Organa?"

Leia immediately turned her attention away from her son. "Call me Leia, dear. What kind of fish do you usually like?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kylo push up from the table. "Excuse me a moment."

* * *

 After he returned from a quick walk around the parking lot, somehow Kylo managed to make it through dinner without accidentally breaking anything. It had been a close call when Leia had brought up _that man_. But he'd managed. Partially because of the breathing exercises he'd learned from therapy, but mostly because of Rey. In a word, she was amazing. She fielded questions from his mother--who never learned the difference between friendly chit chat and a congressional hearing. She'd smiled and laughed when he taught her how to use chopsticks, letting him reach across the table and position her fingers on the elegant lacquered utensils. Her eyes meeting his as a frisson of heat laced through him when their hands touched. 

As they made their way back to the car, Kylo actually felt modicum more relaxed. 

When they reached home, Leia proclaimed that she had work to do, so she would be upstairs for a few hours. Kylo was relieved to hear that she'd already settled in one of the secondary bedrooms on the third floor. He would have had to put his foot down if she had insisted that Rey move rooms for her, in which case his mother might have forced the conversation about who was Rey to him and why was she already living in his house. 

Which was not a conversation he was having with Leia now. 

For fuck's sake, he hadn't even had that conversation with Rey. 

Rey stood a few feet away from him, still in the entrance hall. From the way she was shifting from foot to foot, Kylo thought she seemed at a loss for what to do. Hell, he felt the same way. 

As if she'd heard his thoughts, Rey suddenly looked over at him, offering a tentative smile. Kylo felt the corners of his mouth tug up. 

"So, um--" Rey began.

"I hope--" Kylo started. 

They both stopped, a blush staining Rey's cheeks, thought Kylo was sure he could feel the tips of his ears burning. Thank god for long hair. 

"Go ahead," he encouraged, taking a step towards her. 

Rey looked up at him, her hazel-green eyes searching. "I was just going to ask...if you don't mind, maybe you could tell me why your mum calls you Ben?"

He supposed that was a fair question--he would be surprised if Rey wasn't questioning everything she knew about him right now. But she seemed amazingly calm. Kylo nodded, and headed to the living room, propelling her forward with a hand at the small of her back. They sat facing each other on opposite side of the sofa. Kylo had to smother the urge to reach out and touch her. 

"It's really not much of a story. I was born Ben Organa-Solo. I changed my name when I turned eighteen--I wanted to live my life on my own terms. Not because of who my parents are." Kylo paused, trying to find a way to say the rest of it. "And...I was angry. At my parents. At my father especially. For what happened when I was younger."

Rey's eyes widened, and he knew she understood that he was alluding to what he'd revealed the night before. God that had been difficult--his chest was tight, heavy, as if a great weight sat on it. Even now he was waiting for her to realize just how fucked up that made him--and for her to run screaming. 

But Rey had her own past. And that gave him a perverse sense of hope. 

Much to his surprise, Rey reached over and covered his hand with hers. "Thank you for telling me. Would you prefer for me to call you Kylo still? I could call you Ben if you wanted."

Usually hearing people say his birth name made Kylo deeply uncomfortable. He let his mother get away with it, because, well, she would never call him Kylo. And he knew it was her way of dealing with things. Just pretend it didn't happen, breeze over anything that reflected badly on the family. But anytime he heard "Ben" he was that little boy again, being whispered to and promised all the things his heart desired if only--he shook his head, trying to clear it of those thoughts. 

When Rey said his birth name, it didn't both him as much. She seemed to soften it somehow. 

Maybe it was that sexy little accent.

Still. 

"I prefer Kylo."

She smiled. "Sure. Kylo it is then."

He felt himself leaning towards her--a wayward comet being pulled into the orbit of a brilliant sun. Kylo carded his fingers through her hair, letting his fingertips linger over the shell of her ear. He could barely believe she was letting him touch her-- _him_ a burning wreck of a man who was plagued by ghosts and demons from his past, beset by anger--but from the way Rey leaned into his hand, he could tell she liked it. 

"So, I was wondering," Rey murmured. "What are we going to tell your mother. About us, I mean."

She was twisting a strand of hair around her fingers--something Kylo realized she did when she was nervous or unsure. He let his fingers trail down the side of her throat, back up to her ear. 

"I hoped I could tell her that we're together. But if you'd rather not tell her anything, I'm okay with that too." Leia could be so nosy, and after all it was none of her business. He didn't want Rey to feel like she had to tell his mother anything.

A blush rose on her tawny skin. "She already thinks we're having sex."

The image that he'd conjured that afternoon rose to mind--of Rey, naked and spread out across his kitchen island. Kylo blinked, trying to clear his thoughts and focus on the conversation they were having. 

"You mentioned that," he said, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "What on earth gave her that idea?"

Rey giggled. "Well, after you left, I got a little freaked out being here by myself." She said, pausing and glancing around the room as if looking for a hovering white sheet with black drawn on eyes. "So my friend Baz picked me up and we had lunch."

Kylo raised and eyebrow. "And she gave you lube?"

He wondered what Rey would say about all the lube in his bedside table. Hell, he should have showed her last night and saved her friend the trouble.

"Ha, well. Baz is pretty open about sex...and she just wanted me to be prepared. You know...in case we decided we wanted to do...that."

Kylo couldn't help but smile at the way she stumbled over her words. Clearly she wanted to have sex, but was anxious about his reaction. He leaned forward, until his face was only inches from her. She looked up, her lips parting slightly, her pink tongue peaking out. God she was beautiful, all rosy cheeks and pretty pink lips. And those big hazel eyes; Kylo could lose himself in their depths. 

"Do you want to have sex, Rey?" He whispered, glancing down at her lips before meeting her gaze. 

She shivered at his words, he could feel her tremble as he continued to stroke the delicate ridges of her ear. "Yes. God yes. I can't stop thinking about it."

Her words shot liquid heat straight through his  body, his cock swelling at the thought of his little Rey wet and needy for him. He could barely get his words out as his mind was bombarded with images of them entwined together, of her strong, slim legs wrapped around his waist as he pound into her. 

"Good. Great. Me too." Something she said previously tugged at his memory, suddenly. "Wait, do you mean Bazine Netal?"

Rey nodded, her smile brilliant. "Yeah. Do you know her?"

Kylo shook his head. "I know of her. She owns an, ah, exclusive club downtown. How did you meet her?" 

God, what if Rey had been to that club? He knew what happened there. Just the thought of Rey at _La Marquise_  made his blood pressure rise in irrational jealousy. 

"Oh, I didn't know that. She runs the maid service at the Stardust. I met her when she came to the hotel to straighten out some issues with her girls." Rey said, completely oblivious, it would seem, to the fact that Bazine Netal owned no such cleaning service, and girls she employed at The Stardust were definitely not maids. 

He decided not to burst her bubble though. Besides, if Ms. Netal had wanted Rey to really know what she does, she would have told her. 

But back to the original question. He wanted to make sure Rey knew where they stood--that he wanted her. Not just physically but that he liked her in his life, in his house. 

She made his house a home. 

"We can tell my mother whatever you want, Sunshine." Kylo said, cupping her jaw. "I don't care, as long as you know you're mine."

Rey grinned. "And you're mine, Kylo Ren."

At his words, Rey's  gaze locked on his mouth. Kylo felt himself smile as he leaned forward, anticipation coursing through his veins. Their lips met. Soft, gentled. Again, and again. She tasted sweet. So fucking sweet. Another soft press of her lips against his. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her across the sofa, closer to him. Kylo wanted her in his lap, and as she read his mind, she crawled across his legs, her arms tightening around his neck. Her pert breasts crushed against his chest as her peachy, succulent ass rubbed against his aching cock.  _Fuck but he needed her--needed her now, or he thought he might just die_.

And then he heard the bottom stair squeak and his mother call from the hallway. "Ben, what's you wifi password again?"

Kylo groaned and pulled away from Rey, breathing heavily. She was panting too, her face flushed and her lips plump from his kisses. He knew he probably didn't look much better.

 Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured "I'll be back in a minute sweetheart. We can watch a movie or...something."

Rey gave a little wiggle as she climbed off of him, and Kylo groaned, momentarily unable to stand up as she rubbed against his dick. 

Christmas day couldn't come fast enough.


	8. In Which They Finally Get Somewhere

Kylo suggested they use the game room instead of the living room, and Rey had to agree. Not only was the sofa way comfier, but there was less of a chance of Leia just walking in on them. 

Not in the least because Kylo close the door--something the elegant front living room didn't have. 

The sofa was big leather sectional, with a massive ottoman that basically turned the whole thing into a giant bed. The TV was bigger too, one of those giant LED HD XYZ whatever-the-fuck sets that made the picture look like it was actually happening right in the room. Rey had spend a good amount of time in the game room since she'd moved in, but she and Kylo hadn't usually spent time together in there. It was somehow way more intimate than the formal rooms downstairs. And until recently, she supposed they'd been--unconsciously or otherwise--trying to avoid anything too intimate. 

They settled in on a corner of the sofa, giving Kylo enough room to stretch his impossibly long legs out, with Rey curled up on her side next to him, his arm slung around her shoulders and her hand on his chest. Grabbing the remote, he turned on one of the million streaming services. 

"What do you feel like watching?"

Rey considered. Should she go for a scary movie? Definitely not, considering recent events. A drama? What would Kylo want to watch--something action / adventure-y?

"Um, doesn't matter. You pick."

A few clicks later and the opening credits of  _ Anna Karenina _ floated across the screen accompanied by the screech of an orchestra tuning up. 

Rey let out a chuckle. "What a secret romantic you are."

Kylo squeezed her to his side for a moment. "Pff, I wrote my dissertation on  _ Anna Karenina _ ." 

"You might have mentioned that a few times," she teased; he'd probably said as much every class that they read the Tolstoy novel--it was practically a running joke among the students. Clearly, though, Kylo was aware, judging by the smile he was currently giving her. "So which main character do you like better? Anna or Levin?"

Kylo was silent for a while, and Rey wondered if he was going to answer her. Finally he spoke. "I understand Levin better, I think. Of not being sure where you fit."

Rey felt the solemnity in his voice, and she realized he was telling her something important--something he wouldn't tell just anyone. And somehow she understood exactly what he meant. 

"I can understand that too, I think." Rey whispered, tilting her head up to look at him. "Not fitting." 

Kylo was gazing down at her, his eyes soft. "You fit here."

* * *

An hour into the movie and Rey found her neck cramping. Some quick maneuvering and she was lying on her side, Kylo behind her. One of his arms pillowed her head, and the other was wrapped around her waist. He'd pulled a soft throw over them, and Rey settled in, snuggling herself into his warm, solid body.  

Though she tried to concentrate on the movie, she was just so aware of Kylo behind her. The expanding of his chest as he breathed, the tickle of his dark hair against her cheek. His fingers, plucking absently at the hem of her shirt and tracing circles against her stomach, sending goosebumps rioting across her arms and torso. 

Rey wiggled a little, ostensibly trying to get comfortable. Behind her, she heard Kylo suck in a breath. Had he liked that? A sudden rush of excitement coursed through her at the thought. She did it again, pressing her bottom into his groin. In response, his hot breath tickled her neck a moment before she felt the brush of his lips over her delicate skin. Rey shivered, arching her back and pressing harder against him. She could feel him now, beginning to harden--like the second night she had been here, and she'd accidentally pressed against him when he steadied her from falling. At the time she hadn't wanted to think too closely about the hot, thick brand she'd felt pressed against her stomach. But now,  _ fuck _ , now, she could feel him there, nestled against the curve of her ass. 

Thick and long and burning hot.  _ Christ--she wanted that, wanted _ him _.  _

Kylo continued to rain kisses along her throat, down her shoulder. With the hand pillowing her head, he reached over and pushed the sleeve of her shirt down, giving him access to more freckled skin. The tip of his nose tickled her collarbone, and Rey sighed and shivered with each brush of his mouth on her body. Her nipples pebbled, tightening into little buds against the just-rough-enough rasp of her bra.

And by god did she keep moving her hips, at first just a gentle rocking back and forth to alleviate some of the burning, aching desire building deep in her belly. But soon she was rubbing herself almost shamelessly against him, wanting to feel his hot cock against her bare skin. 

The hand that had been resting on her waist, pushed up, shifting the hem of her shirt until Kylo could cup her breast in his big, rough hand. Rey whimpered as he pushed the cup of her bra aside to pluck at her nipple, making the little bud even harder between his fingers. 

Rey gasped and covered his hand with hers, urging him to squeeze harder. 

On the screen, Anna and Vronsky waltzed together for the first time. 

Suddenly, Kylo bit the juncture of her neck and shoulder sending sharp twin pricks of pain lacing down her throat, burning hot and chased by pleasure as he licked his mark. 

"Kylo--" Rey bit her fist, trying to stifle the cry of pleasure threatening to spill out of her mouth. 

Blindly, she reached behind her and grabbed his thigh, squeezing tight. The rumble of Kylo's groan shook her as she rubbed herself harder against him. 

"Naughty girl," he cooed against her ear. "Trying to make me come in my jeans." A pause, heavy with decision. "Trying to make your professor come."

His words sent warmth blooming through her body to the throbbing ache between her legs. The forbidden dimension to their relationship making it all the more urgent that he put his hands on her. Making a split second decision, Rey turned over to face him. She saw apprehension flicker across his face--worried, perhaps, that referencing their unorthodox relationship might have taken things too far--the moment before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. 

She kissed him fiercely, her mouth against his, drinking him as he gave her everything right back. Rey gasped when he cupped her jaw and pressed his thumb to her corner of her mouth, forcing her lips to part. In a moment he slid his tongue past the barrier of her mouth, taking her kiss and claiming her with it. Liquid heat spilled down her throat, flooded her chest as it met the fire burning between her legs. 

Rey felt wild, untamed, as the heat of his body sunk into her, as his kiss dominated her. 

Kylo tried to roll her onto her back, but the the wildness inside refused to go willingly. She fought him, smiling against his mouth and rolling them again until he was underneath her. Breaking their kiss, Rey grinned in triumph as she straddled him, her hands planted firmly on his chest. 

"I haven't even begun to try to make you come,  _ Professor Ren _ ." 

At her words, her teasing, Kylo's hands on her hips flexed, gripping her tight. "Is that right, naughty girl? Why don't you show me?"

The game was on. 

Rey's grin widened and she began to grind her hips down against the prominent ridge in his jeans. The goal wasn't to get him off, though, it was to get herself off--and him along with her. He might have expected something more explicit, but right now, she wanted to  _ tease.  _

She worked herself against him, trying to find that perfect spot where the seam of her pants rubbed against the seam of her body, where his zipper hit her clit with mind-numbing precision. 

Kylo groaned, tossing his head back. "Fuck, sunshine. that's so good."

His hands squeezed her hips again, urging her along. Rey frowned--that wasn't how this was supposed to work. She was in charge. Reaching down, she covered his hands with hers, pulling them up to rest on her stomach. Kylo took the hint and began stroking her soft skin, sweeping his thumbs in circles just below her breasts while he gripped her sides tight. Rey whimpered, working herself harder against him, rolling her hips until they were both panting. 

The fire in her belly was burning high, and she knew she had two patches of red along her cheeks. Kylo did too, and fuck if that wasn't the hottest sight--Kylo Ren, half-wrecked by her writhing on top of him, their clothing still on. 

"Touch me, Professor Ren, please," she gasped, arching her back so her breasts jutted forward. 

Kylo growled and sat up, pulling Rey down hard against him and making her squeal. Reaching under her shirt, he unhooked her bra. Scrambling, Rey whipped her shirt and bra off, and began tugging at the buttons on Kylo's shirt. She was distracted momentarily by the feeling of his big hands cupping her breasts, weighting them in his warm palms. 

"Look at you," Kylo whispered, leaning close to nip at her ear. "Using me to get yourself off. Fuck. You're a fifthly girl, aren't you?"

Rey moaned as his words coincided with the hard press of his cock-head and zipper against her clit. "Yes, oh  _ fuck _ . I'm a dirty girl for you, professor."

She was so close, so fucking close. Rey ground herself down hard, just as Kylo pinched her nipples, rolling them between his fingers. His shirt rasped against her bare skin, as pleasure-pain laced down her body straight from her nipples. Rey felt the heat build, higher and tighter as she rode him, until suddenly--

Her orgasm ripped through her, sending waves of pleasure tearing through her body as her pussy throbbed against his clothed dick. She shoved her face into his neck, trying desperately to muffle her cries of ecstasy. She could feel Kylo tensing beneath her, and she kept rubbing against him desperate to prolong her orgasm and give him one. His hands gripped her shoulders tight, his breath hot in her against the side of her neck. 

"Rey," he gasped. "I'm gonna--"

A scream tore through the house. 

Rey's head jerked up and she and Kylo stared at each other in frozen shock. 

"Was that--?" She began.  _ Leia _ . 

They jumped apart, Kylo dashing out of the room and Rey scrambled to put her shirt back on before following him. When she rounded the landing to the second floor, she saw Leia and Kylo hovering in the bedroom doorway. 

"Senator Organa--Leia, are you okay?" Rey asked, taking note of the woman's unusually pale face. 

Leia nodded. "I just frightened myself, I think. I thought I saw...well, it doesn't matter."

The older woman's voice was nonchalant, but Rey noticed that her hands were shaking. A tremor of fear laced up her spine--Leia had seen one of the ghosts, Rey was sure of it, though Leia didn't appear to want to admit it. 

"Are you sure, mom?" Kylo prompted. 

Leia waved them off. "Yes, goodness. No need to fuss over me. I swear I just caught my reflection in the mirror and wasn't expecting it." She paused, taking in Kylo half buttoned shirt and Rey's ruffled hair, a sly smile appearing on her face. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

Rey felt herself flush and she quickly looked away, not wanting Kylo's mom to see just what she'd been doing to her son written across her face. 

"Don't worry about it." Kylo replied, managing to sound like he hadn't just been about to come in his jeans with a girl riding him. 

After another few rounds of reassurances from Leia, Rey and Kylo made their way back to the game room. The movie was almost over--they hadn't thought to pause it when they'd ran out of the room, and though they settled into the couch once more, Rey didn't particularly feel like going back to what they had been doing. She wasn't sure if it was because she was now acutely aware of Kylo's mother just one floor above them and easily within hearing (and screaming) distance, or because the house was acting up again. 

Maybe both. 

Luckily, Kylo didn't seem too eager to do anything more than curl up on the sofa with her and finish the film. 

"I'm sorry you didn't get to come," she murmured, pressing her cheek to his chest, feeling almost a little foolish saying something remotely explicit now that they weren't locked in a heated embrace. 

Kylo squeezed her shoulder before brushing a kiss across her forehead. "We'll get there eventually, Sunshine."

* * *

The next few days passed quickly. Kylo and Rey agreed to sleep in their own rooms--they didn't want Leia seeing either of them sneaking in and out, or for her to come looking for Kylo and finding Rey, or vice versa. Which sucked because Kylo wanted nothing more than to hold her close.

To not sleep alone for once. 

But he didn't want to put Rey in an awkward situation with his mother. 

So, he was back to studiously keeping his hands off of her, excepting a few stolen kisses here and there. 

The morning before Christmas Eve, Kylo was making brunch for the three of them--a spinach and feta quiche. He was alone in the kitchen, with just the radio playing for company. Rey was still asleep--he'd checked on her and given her a quick morning kiss before coming downstairs. And he was pretty sure Leia was in her room working--or at least, he had heard her pacing and barking orders on her phone. 

So maybe she had just been talking to Ha--her husband. 

The oven beeped, letting him know it had finished preheating. Kylo gave the egg, spinach, and feta mix a final whisk before pouring it carefully into the crust. He sprinkled some more cheese over the top and popped it in the oven before setting the timer. 

"I still can't believe you somehow managed to learn to cook," came his mother's voice from the doorway. "Han and I were always miserable at it."

_ It's not the only thing _ . Kylo swallowed the remark. He didn't want to quarrel at the moment. He didn't want Rey to see him like that. 

Instead, he just shrugged. "Yeah, well, Maz liked to teach me."

His mother pushed off from the doorway and took a seat at the island between them. 

"She misses you, you know." Leia said, but the way she said it Kylo knew she was leading up to something. "She's coming to dinner on the 26th."

"Ah, there it is." He said, not looking up from where he was wiping down the counter. 

He could almost hear his mother roll her eyes. "What does that mean, Ben?"

He shrugged. "It means, I knew you wouldn't bring Maz up without trying to guilt me into doing something."

"You brought her up, actually." There was  a pause, but Kylo knew his mother wasn't done. "But you should come see her, Ben. She's nearly eighty. I'm sure she'd like to meet Rey too." Another pause, and then, softly, "everyone would."

Klyo gripped the cold stone counter-top of the kitchen island, his knuckles going white. "Everyone? Does that include  _ him _ ?"

"Of course it does," Leia snapped, knowing instantly who her son was talking about. "He misses you, Ben. You broke his heart when you left."

Kylo felt his anger skyrocket at his mother's words.  _ How dare she? _

"His heart was broken? What about me?" Kylo knew his was raising his voice, but he couldn't find the energy to care. All he could feel was blinding hot anger. "I was  _ lost _ . I felt like my soul had been torn to shreds. And he couldn't even be bothered to come back from whatever tropical paradise he'd fled to when--"

He broke off. He'd never been able to say the words to his mother--to either of his parents, actually. It had been his Uncle Luke who'd discovered what was happening. Walked in on something so fucking  _ wrong _ it was like the entire world imploded. Kylo didn't exactly remember the details of that day, but all he knew was  _ after _ , Luke had taken young Ben to his place for a while--just to get him out of the house, he supposed. But then a week turned into two weeks, and then a month. 

Eventually he got a hurried call from Leia saying it was better if he just stayed with his uncle for a while. 

He thought that might have hurt the most, that phone call. Or maybe the fact that he didn't see his father again for over year afterwards. 

Leia's expression was pained, but Kylo couldn't really find it in him to care. He was tired of his pain being ranked below everyone else's. Of his parents worrying more about how things looked instead of the damage that was being done to their son. 

"He didn't know what to say to you. Ben, he felt so guilty--he still does--he didn't want to hurt you even more by saying the wrong thing."

"So he abandoned me?" He shook his head in disbelief. "You know what, forget it, I don't want to talk about it." Kylo snapped, ignoring the imploring look his mother was giving him. "I'll ask Rey what she thinks about the 26th."

Leia pursed her lips as if she wanted to say more but was physically holding it in. Instead she gave a tight nod. "You should be careful, with her I mean."

Kylo raised an eyebrow, already done with the conversation his mother was trying to have. "Contrary to popular opinion, I don't break everything I touch. And I'm not going to break her."

Leia shook her head. "I know. I can see that every time she enters the room you're in. I just mean I understand how scandal and rumors can undermine a lot of hard work. She's your student, Ben. You've got your tenure review coming up. I don't want either of you to get hurt."

* * *

Rey stood in her room, glaring at the bed--or, rather, glaring at the thing that was on top of her bed. She had turned her back to pull some clothes out of the dresser and when she'd looked again that freaky black book was  _ there _ , on the middle of her comforter as if she'd left it there herself.

Except she knew she hadn't. Last she'd seen it, that thing had been kicked under a side table and promptly forgotten about. 

But now it was back. Like the house--or whatever else lived inside these walls--wanted her to look at it. 

Tentatively, Rey approached. In the warm mid-morning light the thing looked innocuous enough, if still a little creepy. It had a thick tooled leather cover with gold lettering: S K Y VV A L K E R - A M I D A L A. The pages were thick, and Rey wondered what kind of book it was. 

She ran her fingers of the sunken gold letters, half expecting the book to start levitating and spinning around. When nothing happened--much to her relief--she very carefully flipped the cover open and turned to a random page. 

_ It's an album _ . 

Photo after photo of a man and woman--sometimes with other people, but always together. They were young, attractive too, yet somehow familiar. Though the pictures were black and white, the man seemed to have lighter hair and a scar above one eyebrow. The woman was absolutely beautiful--thick dark hair that curled down her back and classical elfin features. 

As she flipped through the pages, Rey noticed another man often with the main couple. He too had lighter hair but also a beard. He seemed to always be laughing. 

Rey wondered who they were. There were no annotations, no dates or names. Just the pictures. It suddenly felt critical that she know who these people where. 

_ Maybe Leia will know _ . 

Decision made, she scooped up the book and bounded downstairs. Leia was in the living room, the coffee table covered in stacks of papers as she typed furiously on a tablet. At the sound of Rey's feet on the hardwood floors she looked up. 

"Oh Rey, wonderful! I could use a break from all this."

Rey walked a few feet into the room but stopped short of the sofa. "Are you sure? I don't want to distract you from something important."

The older woman waved her hand. "Nonsense. What have you go there?"

Rey sat next to Leia. "A photo album. I, um, found it in the attic. I thought maybe you might know who some of these people are."

Leia took the book from Rey and began flicking through the pages. "Oh my goodness. These are my parents. Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker."

_ No wonder they looked familiar, _ Rey thought.  _ They're Kylo's grandparents. _

She thought back to the history of the house that Kylo had given her the first night she was here. "They lived here, right?"

Leia nodded, looking around the room with a soft smile on her face. "Yes. I did too, along with my brother Luke, when we were babies." Leia's smile faltered. "But there was a fire. My mother managed to get my brother and myself out of the house, but then she went back in for my father. They both died."

Rey frowned. She thought she remembered Kylo saying something about a fire in the house. How tragic, though, for Padme to have saved her children but died looking for her husband. "I'm so sorry, Leia."

"Some say Anakin started the fire himself. That he was jealous because Padme was having an affair with their close friend Ben Kenobi." Leia continued. 

_ Ben Kenobi _ . Why did that name sound familiar? Rey was sure she'd heard it before. 

"That's horrible."

"And complete bullshit," Leia said. "I've read their diaries; Padme and Anakin were completely devoted to each other."

Rey and Leia sat quietly for a moment looking through more photos together. 

“This must be their honeymoon,” Leia said, pointing to a picture of Padme and Anakin. “They went to Italy. Rented a villa for a month, I think.” 

“Who’s that man?” Rey asked, pointing at the figure that showed up the most next to Padme and Anakin. The man with the beard. 

Leia peered at the photo--the three of them smiling outside what looked like a government building. “That must be Ben Kenobi.”

Rey reached forward, skimming her fingers over the photo. 

“Breakfast is ready!” Kylo called from the kitchen. 

Leia closed the album, setting it aside, before heading into the kitchen. Rey followed her, still thinking about the photo album and the fate of the people who used to live in this very house. 


	9. In Which It Is Christmas Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday Y'all! I'mm still in London and totally exhausted from staring at medieval manuscripts all day. But also, I got a tattoo! Woohoo! Anyway, thanks to everyone who commented, left kudos, or just enjoyed the last chapter. Now on to Nine!

The house was dark, so dark, Rey couldn't see more than five feet in front of her. She rushed through the hallways, turning left and right over and over as furniture seeming to jump out at her in the darkness. Finally the ornate staircase loomed out from the darkness. Rey took the stairs two at a time. It was critical she find Kylo--there was something she needed to tell him. Something...

His door was before her, sending a wave of relief crashing over her. She dashed to the door, down the long, long hallway that seemed to never end, and threw it open. 

But instead of Kylo's bedroom, she was met with a wall of fire. Rey screamed and fell backwards, landing hard on her hip. The fire seemed to grow, licking over wooden walls, devouring its way to her. 

"Kylo! Kylo! Where are you?" She called out, her chest tight, her lungs working harder and harder to breath each passing second.

Scrambling backwards on her hands and knees, Rey tried to turn towards her room--maybe she could get to Kylo through the closets. But the flames spread, blocking her off. Everywhere she looked it was white hot, burning so bright it was blinding. 

"Kylo!" Rey screamed, desperate to find him, or desperate for him to find her. "Kylo, please!"

"REY."

Rey sat up, her entire body shaking as she cast her gaze wildly around the room. Terror coursed through her veins, and her lungs felt flat, empty. She gasped, trying to suck in a breath, hoping she didn't choke on fire, ash, or smoke. 

"Kylo? Kylo!" 

"I'm right here, Sunshine. I'm right here."

Warm hands stroked her hair, down her back. Slowly the bedroom came into focus. Kylo sat on the side of her bed, slowly rubbing her back. His hair was messy, his eyes heavy with sleep. 

"Baby I'm right here," he murmured again, his voice soft and gentle. 

Rey looked up at him, her brain trying to process his words. 

Slowly, she nodded. "It was a nightmare."  She said it more to convince herself that it was true than to tell him. 

Kylo pulled her close, holding her as she shook and tried to calm her breathing. 

"You were crying for me."

Rey nodded against his shoulder. "I couldn't find you. I was looking everywhere. I finally made it to your room but everything was on fire."

He held her for a long moment, not saying anything. Rey felt her heart rate slow, her breath even out. 

"Sounds like my mother's stories freaked you out." 

_ Stories? _ Oh, right. Leia's tale about Padme and Anakin. About how they died in this very house when it burnt down. Leia had continued telling her parents' story as the went into breakfast. How Anakin had been training to for an elite military force, but fell in love with Padme at first sight. How his supervising officer enabled their romance despite its forbidden nature. But Rey wasn't sure that was it. Neither of the ghostly figures--and she was certain they were Padme and Anakin now--that she'd seen in the house had been in her dream. Nothing had felt paranormal, exactly. 

It felt ominous. 

She wrapped her arms tight around his neck. "No it wasn't that. I just..." she let out a breath, trying to collect her thoughts "Can I sleep with you tonight? I know we said we wouldn't while your mom was here, but..."

Kylo didn't wait for her to finish. "Of course, sweetheart."

He stood, lifting her so that Rey easily slid her legs around his waist. One strong forearm under her bum and the other still wrapped around her shoulders, Kylo carried her into his room from the hallway. 

"We'll sleep in mine tonight. That way you know it's not on fire."

Rey gave a soft chuckle, already feeling better in the safe circle of his arms. He laid her down, before sliding into bed next to her. Rey turned, so that she was facing him while Kylo slipped one arm under her head so that he could hold her. 

"I'm sorry if I woke you up," she whispered, looking for the glitter of his eyes in the dark room. 

Kylo brushed a swift kiss across her lips. "You didn't. I was working on tenure review stuff."

They lapsed into silence, shifting slightly until they were comfortable. 

She cuddled in closer you. "You're so warm. It's amazing sleeping next to you."

Kylo carded his fingers through her hair, before tucking her head under his chin. "Mmm, am I?"

She nodded and hitched her leg over his hip. "Mmmhmm."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Night Rey."

"Night, Kylo."

* * *

Kylo woke to the feeling of kisses along his jaw, down his throat, across his shoulders. A warm, soft body curled around his own. He could feel her hips moving in little circles against his thigh.  _ Fuck, _ why was that so hot? His cock begin to swell at the thought.

At her sounds.

A soft moan escaped her, and Kylo's eyes cracked open. A slow smile spread over his face when he saw Rey, hair disheveled, and face flushed with sleep and arousal.  Leaning forward, he captured her lips in a chaste kiss. Rey kissed him back, harder, deepening their embrace, until his tongue was sliding into her hot mouth, her teeth nipping at his lips. 

When the kiss finally broke, she stayed close. The warm morning sunlight seemed to be keeping the shadows from the night before at bay, but Kylo felt like everything was--well, maybe not fragile, but tentative. New. Like they were on the verge of something more. 

Something intimate. 

"Morning, Sunshine." He rumbled, his voice rough with sleep. 

Rey snuggled closer into him, and brushed a kiss along his jaw. "Hi."

Kylo grinned--and god was she gorgeous like this. Pliant and sleepy in his bed. 

"You're beautiful when you smile like that," Rey said suddenly. "Your whole face lights up and your dimples pop."

His heart squeezed at her words and warmth flooded his chest. Kylo had never thought of himself as beautiful, or handsome, really. Sure he worked out and took care that his hair and clothes looked nice. But he knew his face was funny and his ears were too big. He could barely believe this goddess of a woman was in his bed, telling him he was beautiful. 

"Sunshine, if anyone in this relationship is beautiful, it's you, not me."

She pressed another kiss to his neck."You're wrong, Kylo. You" kiss "are" kiss "beautiful."

He laughed and buried his fingers in her hair, tugging her face to his for a kiss. Rey came willingly, her hips canting against his own like when she rode him to orgasm a few nights ago. Except this was even better, because there were only a few thin layers of cotton between them. He could feel the heat of her pussy against this cock and the warm crush of her breasts against his chest. 

Rey bit his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. Kylo groaned and rolled them, so that Rey was on her back beneath him. Breaking their kiss, he nipped her ear. 

"You're an aggressive little thing, you know that?" He whispered before tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue. 

She giggled and raked her nails down his back tearing a another ragged groan from him. 

"Only for you, Professor Ren."

Kylo ground his hips against hers, his cock throbbing at the feel of her hot, wet sheath just millimeters from him. His hand slipped down to cup her breasts, squeezing and thumbing her hard little nipples through her shirt. Rey whimpered and arched her back, rubbing herself on him like a cat in heat. He could hardly think as pleasure suffused his mind, flooded his body. Having Rey beneath him-- _ fuck _ \--he had to be inside of her soon. 

He broke their kiss to trail hot, open mouthed kisses along her swan-like throat. "Do you want me to fuck you, Rey?"

"Christ yes Kylo," she gasped, sinking her fingers into his hair and tugging his face back up to hers. 

He kissed her hard, losing himself in the slide of her tongue against his, in the softness of her lips. He continued to squeeze and cup her breasts, each little moan and whimper she made going straight to his dick. Rey broke their kiss, and nipped at the lobe of his ear. 

"I want you to fuck me, but I first I think it's your turn to come."

Kylo's brain short-circuited at her words--make him come? She was going to--?

Rey flipped them, taking his momentary paralysis to maneuver his much larger body beneath hers. She licked his throat, and began kissing her way down his chest. Streaks of pleasure zinged down his body at each brush of her lips, making his cock twitch in anticipation, pleasure building hot and bright at the base of his spine. 

"You like being on top, don't you Sunshine?" He panted, his hands flying to her head as she bit down on his nipple. 

Rey purred, and kissed lower, swirling her tongue around his navel. "I like the feeling of a big man between my thighs."

Kylo closed his eyes, his head tilting back as her words hit him like a hammer. "What about something big between your lips."

He heard Rey laugh as she peeled his boxer shorts away from his waist and down his hips. His cock sprung free, and she sucked in a breath. 

"You weren't kidding." 

He chuckled, please beyond measure that she liked his size. He knew he was big, but it was always nice to be admired. She began stroking his shaft, paying special attention to the sensitive crown. Kylo groaned as pleasure snaked down his length. 

"Look at me Kylo," Rey panted. "I want you to see this."

He opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows so that he could see her better. Rey knelt between his legs, both hands wrapped around his cock, the top few inches peaking out above her fingers. The crown was already red, with precum leaking out of the tip. Rey swirled her finger through the clearish liquid, getting the head nice a wet. 

Her eyes met his as she slowly lowered her face, until she was millimeters from his dick, her warm breath a soft caress on his over-sensitive skin. 

"Rey," he gasped, pleading with her to do something. 

She grinned, before ever so slowly sticking her tongue out. The second it touched the crown of his cock, Kylo hissed, his entire body jerking. She lapped at him a few times, before sticking out her entire tongue and rubbing the head against it. She moved lower, mouthing and sucking at the column of his cock from base to tip. 

"Fuck," he groaned, watching her lick him like a Popsicle. 

She reached the base, and swirled her tongue against his balls, swiping over one then the other, before trailing the entire flat length of her tongue up the underside of his dick. Kylo thought his lungs were going to explode, or  maybe his heart. He could barely breath as the soft, hot touch of her mouth reached the tip of him. 

And then Rey swallowed. 

Immediately he was surrounded, enveloped in warm velvet. Kylo's hips jerked, his lower back bowing off the bed as she began bobbing her head up and down his shaft, her lips a tight ring around his member. He couldn't help the ragged moan that tore through his throat as Rey gripped his thighs, her nails digging little half-moons into his pale skin. 

His cock hit the back of her throat, and he felt her constrict even further, before she took a deep, calming breath through her nose. Kylo gathered her hair in his hand, stroking his thumbs through the silken strands. 

"Fuck, sunshine, you're doing so well," he gasped. "Jesus Christ."

She moved lower, one hand squeezing and rubbing the few inches that remained outside her lips. Slowly she dragged her mouth back up, now working both hands along him. She concentrated on the tip, swirling her tongue around the throbbing head, sucking hard before plunging back down his length. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Pleasure snaked down his spine and his balls tightened. "Rey, honey, I'm going to--"

At his warning, Rey took him deeper, breathing heavily and sucking hard, until the tip of her nose brushed against the crisp black hair above the base of his cock. 

Kylo swore, his fingers digging into her hair, as his vision went white. Burning hot pleasure flooded him, blew him apart as he let go, spending hard down her throat. Rey moaned, swallowing every last drop. With a great gasp, she released him from her mouth and collapsed half on top of him, her head resting against his hip. Kylo stroked her hair and tried to catch his breath as his heart thundered in his chest. 

He wouldn't be surprised if Rey could hear it. 

"I think you just sucked my soul out of my dick," he managed to gasp. 

Rey giggled. "Glad you enjoyed it."

"Come here." Grabbing her under the arms, Kylo hoisted her up his body before finding her lips with his. 

He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other cupping the back of her head as she sprawled across him. Kylo tugged at her shirt, breaking their kiss just long enough to pull the soft material over her head. Rey sat up a bit to help him and suddenly her gorgeous tits were bare to him. They were small but perfect teardrops with berry-red points. Kylo groaned and ran his hands up her rib cage until he was cupping them, his thumbs hovering over her nipples, not quite touching, but close enough that he was sure she could feel the heat of him on her sensitive peaks. 

"Christ." The sight of her pretty golden breasts in his giant hands would have made him come if he hadn't just done so down her throat. He was rubbing her tits now, tugging and rolling the soft flesh in his hands like they had a mind of their own. 

If someone had told him at the beginning of the semester that in less than three months time he would have the pretty, whip smart girl who hid herself away in the back of the room in his bed, her boobs in his hands, his cum coating her throat, Kylo would have laughed at the idea. 

And then probably locked himself in his office to masturbate. 

But this was better than any fantasy. This was Rey, straddling him in his bed. 

With great effort, Kylo managed to tear his gaze away from her breasts and met her eyes with this. The look on her face--soft, full of  _ something _ so profound it frightened him--made him tremble. Slowly, Kylo leaned forward and brushed a soft kiss over each nipple. 

"You're so fucking perfect, Rey, it's almost scary."

A delicious pink blush spread across her cheeks and down her chest as she opened her mouth to reply to him--

Just as he heard Leia tromping down the main staircase, barking orders into her cell phone no doubt. What admirable effort his dick was making towards getting hard so soon after coming immediately drained away at the sound of Liea's voice. Kylo groaned in frustration, his head falling forward to rest against Rey's shoulder. She let out a deep sigh. 

"We'd better get down there before she comes looking for us," she whispered into his hair. 

Kylo had to agree with what the woman in his lap said, but he didn't want to. Reluctantly he let her go and she clambered off of him. Getting up, he grabbed a pair of pj pants and a shirt from his dresser, not wanting to actually get fully dressed yet. When he turned back to the bed, Rey was laying down, her forearm covering her eyes. 

Smile spreading across his lips, Kylo crawled over the bed to her. "Hey, you okay?"

She lowered her forearm and grinned. "I'm fine. Just basking in almost post-coital bliss."

Kylo snorted. "One of these days we're both going to have an orgasm."

"That would be wonderful."

He bent his head and captured her lips with his. When he finally pulled away, he nudged the tip of her nose with his own. 

"So, my mother asked if we wanted to come to dinner on the 26th. It wouldn't be the giant party she throws--just close family," he paused, hoping she understood what he was asking her. "My grandmother will be there."

Rey tilted her head to the side, studying him. "Do you want to go?"

He frowned, chewing over the questions. "I haven't seen Maz in years." And he wanted in some way to give her an idea of what a family holiday was like. Even if it was with his dysfunctional parents.

Instead of responding right away, Rey gave him a soft smile and kissed the bridge of his nose. "In that case, I'd love to go. but Kylo will, um, your dad be there?"

He wasn't surprised she'd picked up on that. He let out a heavy breath. "He will."

She paused again, chewing over her thoughts.

"Well, we can leave whenever you want." 

"You're amazing, you know that?"

Rey laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course I do!"

* * *

Christmas Eve was everything Rey wanted. Kylo made up a big brunch for them, and they spent the rest of the afternoon curled on the couch watching Christmas movies. Leia joined them after dinner and Kylo made a big pot of hot chocolate for everyone. She and Kylo didn't have much of an opportunity to continue what they'd started that morning, but that was okay. Rey was happy just to lean next to him on the sofa, his arm around her.

As the movie finished Leia stood and wandered over to the tree. 

"Now would be a good time to give you both these, I think," she declared, gesturing to two beautifully wrapped packages under the tree that Rey hadn't noticed until that moment. Goodness, was one of those for her? Leia had only known her a handful of days! When had she had time to get something?

"Oh Leia, I don't have anything to give to you," Rey shook her head as she accepted the box from the older woman. 

Leia patted Rey's cheek before handing a similarly sized box to Kylo. "Don't worry about it kiddo. Meeting you was present enough for me." She turned to her son. "And coming to dinner on the 26th is your present to me, Ben."

Rey glanced at Kylo before slowly unwrapping the present while he did the same. Pulling the lid off, she pushed a few layers of tissue paper aside to reveal black silk. Rey gasped, and pulled it out of the box. It was an off the shoulder dress, with gold and silver flowers applied to the skirt. 

"Oh, it's so beautiful!"

Leia beamed. "You can wear it for dinner. You too, Ben."

Kyo was holding a black sweater that looked buttery soft and a dark green button up shirt. She stood and threw her arms around Leia, squeezing her in a big hug. 

"This is the nicest present I've ever gotten. Thank you so much!" 

The older woman hugged her back tightly. Stepping back, she felt Kylo's hand brush her waist, before he wrapped his mother in a hug. "Thank you, mom."

Rey couldn't help the big bring that spread across her face at the sight. 

Kylo shifted away, clearly uncomfortable with the display of affection. He cleared his throat. "Who wants more hot chocolate?"

It was a few hours later that Rey stood in her room, surveying the few possession she had. She and Kylo hadn't talk about if they would be exchanging gifts, but she wanted to give him something. Especially after Leia's generosity. Her gaze fell on the stack of books she carried with her wherever she lived, an idea popping into her head. She had saved the paper that had been on Leia's gift. Taking it, she carefully set about wrapping Kylo's after she tucked a handwritten note inside. Smiling at her handiwork, Rey snuck downstairs to place it under the tree. 

On her way back to her room she paused on the landing listening to the house. All was quiet and it occurred to her that there hadn't been any strange activity for the past few days. Slipping into bed, she smiled to herself. 

Tomorrow was Christmas. 

Tomorrow, she knew, would be amazing.


	10. In Which We Get A Christmas Miracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late!!! I flew back home from London the other day and I got confused over what day I was in. I hope the little extra wait was worth it though! Thank you to everyone who left me a comment on the last chapter! I wasn't able to respond like I usually due, but I'm back home for the rest of the summer so hopefully things will settle down in my life and I can get back on track haha. Anyway, here's chapter ten! I hope you like it!

Rey woke to the smell of bacon. Sitting up, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched her arms. Kylo must already be up, maybe Leia too--Rey wasn't sure what time Kylo’s mom  was heading out today.

Hopping out of bed, Rey made her wait downstairs, stopping on the mid-level landing to make sure her hair looked okay and that her tank top hadn't gotten twisted in sleep. She didn't exactly want Leia to get an eyeful if she happened to be downstairs already. Figuring she was presentable enough, Rey wandered into the kitchen to see Kylo at the stove, working on what was presumably a pan of bacon and sausage. 

Padding across the room, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades. 

"Happy Christmas, Kylo!"

His hand covered hers for a moment, giving them a squeeze, before he turned around. Rey felt a rush of pure happiness as the sight of him--his hair tousled from sleep and his eyes soft for her. She could hardly believe she was lucky enough that this gorgeous man was in her life.

Picking her up by the waist, Kylo stepped forward to set her on the island counter behind him. Rey smiled up at him, loving the way his large hands on her body made her feel--tiny, protected. Turned on. He crowed her pressing his big body between her legs, his palms resting on her thighs, burning a delicious heat against her skin. He was so warm and solid under her fingertips, reminding her that this wasn't a dream. 

"Merry Christmas, Sunshine," he murmured, rubbing the tip of his nose down the bridge of hers before pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. 

And then another. And another. And another. 

After a long moment of soft kisses, Kylo pulled away and turned back to the food cooking on the stove. 

"Can you crack some eggs in that bowl next to you? Scramble them up and season them?" He called over his shoulder. 

Rey grinned and grabbed the cardboard carton and plastic mixing bowl without hopping off the counter. She split her attention between looking at what she was doing with the eggs and watching Kylo work. The muscles of his back and arms flexed and shifted as he flipped and rolled the cooking meat, eventually transferring it to a plat lined with paper towels. 

God she loved looking at him. It made her entire body tingle. A smile came to her lips as she thought about yesterday morning--being in bed with him, taking him into her mouth. He was so big-- _ fuck _ \--it made wetness pool between her legs just recalling it. She shouldn't be surprised, Kylo was a big man, all broad shoulders, hard muscles, and big hands. That his dick was the biggest she'd ever seen shouldn't surprise her. 

Although she was a bit curious about how he was going to fit inside of her. 

Her smile transformed into a grin. She couldn't wait to try. 

Lowering the heat on the stove and dropping a pat of butter into the pan, Kylo turned around and grabbed the eggs from her in exchange for a swift kiss across her cheek, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

"Is Leia in her room?" Rey asked. 

Kylo shook his head. "She left earlier this morning. Had to be at Luke's to organize the party."

Rey's breath hitched. They were alone in the house for the first time in days. For the first time since they'd admitted what was between the two of them. She eyed him, wondering if now that they were alone...would he? Would they? 

Heat flooded her body at the thought. 

Kylo turned around holding two plates piled high with eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and fruit. They made their way over to the breakfast nook and Rey got them some orange juice and coffee. 

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" Rey asked before shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

"Leia wants us there by 6." Kylo replied, taking a sip of coffee. "It's about a two hour drive--maybe long with holiday traffic. So we'll have the morning and most of the afternoon to ourselves."

Rey grinned. “All of tomorrow morning and afternoon to ourselves. What ever are we going to do?”

Kylo gave her a cheeky grin. “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

They finished breakfast, chatting about plans and Solo family holiday shenanigan which had Rey laughing and Kylo smiling fondly. As they cleared their plates, Kylo bumped her hip with his own. "So I think next on your Perfect Christmas List is opening gifts."

Rey's chest squeezed as warmth flooded just below her heart. He'd remembered their conversation. God, at the time she was sure he’d think she was crazy, or worse, pathetic. But now-- _ Shit I will not cry. I will _ not _ cry.  _

"You didn't have get me anything." She murmured, suddenly shy and anxious as Kylo led her into the living room, his hand linked with hers. 

He shrugged. "I wanted to."

They sat on the floor next to the tree, Rey next to Kylo before he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Rey laughed, and settled into him, enjoying the solid warmth of his chest behind her and his arms around her. She couldn’t imagine anything more perfect than this--the tree was all lit up and the windows behind it showed pine trees laden with snow. 

And of course, Kylo was here, with her. For the first time in forever she was sharing the holiday with someone special. Some she--

He grabbed a package of three boxes stacked on top of each other and tied with a big bow and handed it to her. 

"Merry Christmas, Rey," Kylo whispered, pressing a kiss to the crook of her neck. 

Rey’s hands shook as she opened the top package to reveal a silver fountain pen and spare ink cartrages. The next box revealed brush-tip pens in a spectrum of pastel colors, and the final box held a brown leather journal with her name embossed in gold on the cover. Tears sprung to her eyes as she surveyed the beautiful gifts. 

"Oh Kylo," she gasped, wiggling around to face him and throwing her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much!"

She kissed him, fierce and hard, trying to convey just how special he'd made the day for her. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had gotten her a gift--for birthday, Christmas, or anything. Probably her mother had, but she couldn't remember anything specific. She broke the kiss, but stayed close, running the tip of her nose along the bridge of his. 

"There's something for you under the tree. It's not nearly as fancy but...I wanted you to have it."

Kylo's eyes got soft and he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

"Sunshine it's from you," he said, as if that explained everything. And, in away, it did. 

Rey grabbed the package she'd snuck downstairs last night and handed it to him. Kylo opened it carefully to reveal an old, cloth bound book, the cover delicately inked:  _ Alfred Lord Tennyson, Complete Poems _ . Inside the front cover was an embossed stamp and the handwritten note Rey had tucked in. 

"It's a first edition." Kylo said, after reading her note, his voice sounding strange and tight. 

Rey nodded. "I've had it as long as I can remember. My mum used to read it to me."

He squeezed her tight. "Rey, I can't take this. It's too important to you."

She shook her head. "I want you to have it, Kylo. You gave me your home. I want to give you mine."

He didn't say anything else. Simply stood, hoisting her up with him. They stood together for a long moment as Kylo cradled her face between his hand. Rey's eyes fluttered closed at his soft touch, missing the way he bent his head towards her until their lips touched once, twice. Three times, a gentle brush of mouth over mouth. Kylo's warm breath fanned over her face, causing her to shiver at his nearness. Her heart hammered in her chest, warmth spreading through her body at his actions, his soft words and touches. Words so primal and so, so frightening bubbled up her throat but she fought to keep them down. 

She couldn't say it. Not yet. 

"Rey, beautiful girl," Kylo murmured. "My girl. Look."

She opened her eyes and followed his gaze upwards. Hanging from the lintel above the window alcove where the tree was set up was a cluster of bright green leaves and red berries. 

"Mistletoe." She breathed. 

Rey had no idea how it got up there, she and Kylo certainly hadn't put it up when they were decorating. Maybe Leia put it up before she left. Maybe it was the ghosts, or even the house itself--sometimes it seemed as if it too were alive. She didn't really care, though. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could form the words, Kylo's lips were on hers. His arms wrapped around her waist, one big hand splayed between her shoulder blades as he kissed her, his mouth firm and forceful against her own. She snaked her arms around his neck, her fingers tunneling in his thick, dark hair. 

She put everything she was feeling for him in that kiss--affection, gratitude,  _ need-- _ and he gave it back to her. She could feel his hunger, like a physical thing clawing through his chest and into hers. His tongue swiped along her bottom lip, and Rey happily opened for him, letting him press past the barrier of her mouth to explore her. She sucked on his bottom lip, nibbling and biting. She loved how full his mouth was, how expressive. She could spend the rest of her life kissing him. 

Kylo walked them backwards, until the back of Rey's knees hit the couch. 

"I want you so badly," he gasped, pressing hot open mouthed kisses along her neck, his tongue flicking at her skin. "I was going to wait until tonight. But I can't."

Fire licked down her skin, straight between her legs. Rey moaned as his teeth nipped her collar bone causing her nipples to pebble and shivers to lace up her spine. Kylo's hands where everywhere, stroking her back, up her sides, gripping her hips. Suddenly, he lifted her up and laid them both down on the sofa. Rey sighed, enjoying the heavy weight of him on top of her. 

"Please, Kylo," she cried. "I need..." Her hands scrambled across his back, looking for purchase against the soft fabric of his t-shirt. 

"What do you need, Sunshine?" He panted against her neck.

Kylo rocked his hips into hers and she could feel the ridge of his cock between her legs, heavy and hot. Rey ground herself against it desperate for a frisson of pleasure. 

"You Kylo, inside of me." 

" _ Fuck. _ " 

Kylo sat up and pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the floor. Rey stared at his bare chest, eyes raking over every hard inch of muscle--she'd seen him without a shirt before, but somehow she still couldn't believe that she was lying on Professor Kylo Ren's couch, while he loomed above her, shirtless. She wanted to lick the grooves that ran between his abdominal muscles, nibble on his pecs and sink her nails into the firm obliques along his side. 

She didn't get to do any of those things, though, because Kylo stood and pulled his pajama pants and boxers down in one smooth movement until he stood before her, absolutely naked. Rey stared, taking him all in. His lower half was just as impressive as his top half. Thick, muscular thighs and hard calves met her gaze, dusted with dark hair. And between. 

Rey licked her lips. His cock was standing at attention, curving upwards past his navel, thick and pulsing for her. 

"I'm really liking the way you're looking at me, Sunshine." Kylo growled, taking a step towards her and bending down to grip her tank top, yanking it over her head. 

He made quick work of her sleep shorts until she was spread out before him. His pupils dilate and his nostrils flared as his gaze focused in on the wet, pink place between her legs. Rey suddenly felt nervous and unsure of herself. Kylo was so much older than she was--so mature and experienced. What if...what if she wasn't very good? She'd only done this a handful of times, and none were particularly memorable. 

What if she didn't do it right?

As if sensing her disquiet,Kylo knelt suddenly and gripped the back of her neck in on big hand, forcing her to look deep into his eyes. "Don't be nervous, Rey. I'm going to take good care of you."

His words hit her deep in her belly, making her thighs clench. Kylo push her legs apart, his big hands gripping just above her knees, his thumbs rubbing circles on her inner thighs. His eyes flicked up, meeting hers as he slowly lowered his head between her legs, until she could feel his hot breath on her lips. 

He smiled. "You're already so wet for me."

His hand inched upwards, so, so slowly. Rey held her breath, swore her heart stopped, as she watched his thumb reach forward, until he swiped it up and down her wet entrance. She jerked as electricity ripped through her body. Kylo's smile widened into a grin. 

"So fucking responsive."

His words sent shivers racing down her spine as his warm breath hit her over-sensitive skin. Kylo continued stroking her slick folds, watching intently as she reacted to his touch. Rey shuddered with every pass of his thumb over her. Suddenly, he move his hand, so that his whole palm cupped her putting pressure on her clit. She gasped as sparks radiated out from her center. 

"Kylo, please."

"Please what, sweetheart?" He murmured, a satisfied smirk on his expressive lips. "Do you want my fingers in your warm little pussy? My tongue?"

"Yes, fuck yes. Both."

Kylo chuckled. "So greedy for me."

Rey whimpered in response. Fuck yes, she was greedy for him. Had been for months.

His tongue was on her in a second, hot and pressed flat against her seam. He licked her, alternating between firm flat strokes, and fast brushes. Suddenly, Kylo wrapped his tongue around her clit, sucking hard as one thick finger delved into her channel. Rey's back arched, and she let out a high-pitched keen as pleasure flooded her body. She felt herself growing impossibly wetter as his finger moved in and out of her, as his tongue lashed her little bud. 

Her fingers flew to his head, burying themselves in his thick dark hair as he began to nibble her lower lips, sucking them into his mouth and tonguing them as he added a second finger to her tight sheath. His lips felt pillowy soft against her body, and his nose bumped her clit with each pass of his mouth. 

Rey was certain she had died. She had died and this was heaven--Professor Ren, unbelievably sexy and smart Professor Ren, was eating her out on Christmas morning. 

She could feel her orgasm begin to build, something hot and tight at the base of her spine, spreading outwards as the man between her legs crooked his fingers up inside of her, hitting that spot she'd only dreamed about. His mouth locked on her little bundle of nerve, sucking hard. She could feel her legs begin to shake, her fingers tightened in his silken hair. 

"Kylo, Kylo KyloKYLOOOOOOOOO--"

The world went white and her entire body seized up. Pleasure like she'd never known broke over her, going on and on. When Rey finally came down, her limbs heavy and sated, Kylo was still brushing kisses over her body. His mouth touching her belly, her hips, her thighs, as his fingers stroked her entrance with the utmost tenderness. He smiled up at her from between her legs, his dimples popping and the corners of his eyes crinkling. 

She felt boneless, golden, and happy. Rey ran her fingers through his hair, trying to communicate how amazing that had been. Kylo caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm before standing up. 

"I want you in my bed the first time I fuck you," he stated, scooping her up into his arms. 

Rey couldn't suppress the thrill of pleasure that coursed through her at his words. He carried her through the house, up the stairs, each room they passed seeming to glow bright, like the house itself was happy. Kylo reached his bedroom and kicked the door open before striding across the room and laying her down on his big bed. She felt the mattress dip as he climbed above her. 

Kylo's mouth met her's, his hands coming up to cup her face. Rey sighed in pleasure, settling in to the kiss the delicious feeling of his body on top of hers. She tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him back, her legs wrapping around his waist pulling him into the cradle of her thighs. He kissed the corner of her mouth, her jaw, down her throat. Rey turned her head, allowing him more access to her neck and nipped at his thumb before sucking it into her mouth. 

Kylo's other hand soothed down her body until he cupped her breast, squeezing it, tweaking the nipple. His mouth moved lower, kissing the freckles dusting her chest, before he reached her other breast. He sucked the hard little bud into his mouth and Rey's back arched off the bed as lightning shot straight from her breast to the ache between her thighs. 

Rey moaned, her nails scratching at his back, looking for purchase as need flooded her entire body. His teeth tightened around her needy point, and tugged. 

"Oh my god, oh my god!" She saw stars. 

She felt him smile against her body, before switching his mouth to the other breast. Kylo's thumb caught on her lip as he moved it down to grasp her neglected bud, and her eyes fluttered closed. 

"Please," she panted. "I need you."

Rey's hips were working overtime now, rubbing herself against him, against the rigid heat of his cock where it rested between their bodies. She could feel her wetness coating him, making him slick and ready to enter her. 

Kylo sucked hard just below her breast against her chest. "Are you on birth control, Rey?"

She blinked, her brain trying to cut through the haze of pleasure and understand what he just said. "Um...yeah, implant. Clean too." 

He moved forward, kissing his way back up her body, her throat, to nibble at her lower lip. "I'm clean too."

Need like nothing before burned through her body at his words--at their implication. "I want you inside of me. Just you. Raw, Kylo."

He nodded, his face buried against her neck, as he reached down to grip his thick shaft. She felt him stroke himself, rubbing her wetness over his skin, before he stroked the fat head of his cock along the seam of her lips. 

"You want me inside of you, Sunshine? You want my cock in your tight little cunt?"

"Fuck--Kylo. Fuck me already!" She panted, arching beneath him, desperate for what he was teasing her with. 

At her words, Kylo surged forward, pressing into her inch by thick inch. 

"Holy shit, you're so fucking tight." He gasped, balancing himself on his forearms, muscles straining as he pushed in slowly giving her enough time to adjust to his girth. 

Rey felt as if she were being split in half, impaled on his cock. She loved it. The stretch was amazing, the feeling of being full,  _ so fucking full _ , made her want to scream. Instead she gripped his upper arms, her nails sinking into the thick muscles as she canted her hips, urging him to sheath himself inside of her faster. 

Kylo groaned and pushed the last few inches in, until he seated himself entirely in her aching cunt. He was breathing heavily, his hot breath warming her shoulder and neck. Rey arched up, digging her heels into his ass as she begged him to move with her body. 

"Kylo, please."

He began to move at her pleading. Hard, deep thrusts of his hips, sending frissions of pleasure arcing up her body with each drag of his cock through her aching heat. Rey keened, rolling her hips to meet his thrusts. 

"Harder," she panted. 

Kylo groaned and nipped at her throat. "Does my girl like a good, hard dicking?"

"Yes, fuck. Give it to me," Rey cried, raking her nails down his back trying to urge him. 

Kylo captured her wrists in one hand and held them over her head. "Be good, or I won't give you what you want."

His voice was deep and serious, but she knew he wouldn’t follow through with this threat. His hips were already twitching against hers, desperate to seat himself deep inside the sweet warmth of her body.

He moved faster, each stroke of his cock a white hot line of pleasure lighting through her. Her heart thundered in her chest, beating frantically with each sharp snap of his hips. Her brain was scrambled unable to think beyond  _ yes _ and  _ more _ . Kylo pressed his lips to hers, his tongue delving into her mouth as his cock delved into her tight cunt. 

Her hands held tight in one of his, he cupped her face with his free palm, stroking his thumb along her jaw as they kissed, as they fucked. Rey tightened her legs around his waist, urging him closer. As their bodies collided, sliding, slipping over each other his pelvis ground down on her clit, amplifying the pleasure already coursing through her veins. She moaned into his kiss, her body beginning to shake with the oncoming storm that was her orgasm. 

Kylo read the pleasure throbbing through her with each brush of his body over hers, each slide of his cock through her aching heat, and he began pounding into her, hard and fast like she demanded. 

She was moaning now in earnest, breaking their kiss to throw her head back, to arch her spine as blinding hot pleasure flooded her. Rey felt her cunt begin to squeeze rhythmically around Kylo's thick shaft. And then he ground down hard on her clit, hilting himself inside of her. 

Rey screamed, her body going impossibly tight then suddenly limp beneath him as her release ripped through her like a tidal wave. Kylo groaned, grunted, as her tight cunt gripped his cock. Suddenly he reared up on his knees and gripped her thighs, pulling her hips off of the bed and bringing them to his cock. He thrust into her, his own release apparently chasing at his heels. Rey whimpered in delight as her boneless body was lifted, cradled,  _ fucked _ , by him. 

One final snap of his hips and Kylo held her against him, his head thrown back in ecstasy, a silent scream tearing its way out of his throat. Rey could feel him, hot, throbbing, spurting inside of her, setting off a smaller, intense orgasm. Finally, he collapsed on top of her, his arms caging her in but also keeping his entire weight off her slight body. His face pressed to her shoulder, they panted, gasped, trying to regain some semblance of okayness. 

She wrapped her arms around his back, hugging him to her, until Kylo rolled them so they lay on their sides face to face. 

Rey wasn't sure what to say--if, indeed, she needed to say anything--as she came down from the most intense experience of her entire life. Instead of saying anything, though, Kylo pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, his tongue touching hers with tentative sweeps, not trying to stoke the lingering fire between them, but trying doing something else entirely. Something intimate and gentle. 

Rey surrendered to his kiss, enjoying the way her body felt boneless and liquid against his own. When they finally broke apart, Kylo stayed close, running the tip of his nose along the bridge of hers. 

"That was...incredible." She finally managed. 

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "I know."


	11. In Which Stick a Fork in Him Because Kylo Ren is Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday my dears! Please note that the overall fic length has been extended to 20--I was going through my outline and realized I needed to expand by a good five chapters. Kind of ruins the "slow burn" but what can you do--smutty scenes have high word counts. 
> 
> A big thanks to everyone who commented, left kudos, or read the last chapter! I hope you've had your fill of holiday fluff because the drama llamas were in charge of this chapter. ;)
> 
> Content Warning for this chapter: brief discussion of child sexual abuse. It's only one line, but I don't want to blindside anyone. Please see endnotes for a more detailed explanation if this might upset or trigger you.

"Tell me about your childhood."

Kylo's voice was deep and heavy with exhaustion as he spoke, and he brushed the lightest of kisses along her knuckles and fingertips. 

Rey curled closer to him in his massive bed. They had spend the entire day there, kissing, exploring each other, fucking. It was the best Christmas she'd ever had. Christ, it was probably the best  _ day _ she'd ever had, period. Kylo was amazing--he alternated between intense and frantic, with tender and slow. The way he touched her,  _ god _ , she felt like he was worshiping her. 

It was early evening now, the sun already setting. 

She thought about his question, trying to figure out where to start. It wasn't something she often told people--honestly, she could count on one hand the number of people she'd even mentioned growing up in New Orleans to. But, if there was anyone she wanted to share her past with, it would be the man currently holding her. 

She looked up at him through the fan of her lashes. He was watching her, his soulful, dark eyes fixed on her face as if he were looking for an minute shift in expression to tell him more than her words would. 

"There really isn't much to tell," she began but pausing trying to organize her thoughts. 

"I was found wandering the streets of New Orleans when I was six, I think. Just strolling down Jaqueau Street in the Garden District with a backpack and a stuffed teddy bear. I couldn't remember anything. The only reason they knew my name was because it was written on the inside of my shoes: Rey K. Nothing else." 

She stopped again, pressing her face into the crook of Kylo's neck. It was hard saying these things, opening herself up for him. What if he decided he didn't want a girl with no past after all?

Kylo kissed the top of her head, as if sensing her thoughts. He didn't say anything though. Just patiently waited for her to continue. Rey took a deep breath. 

"They looked for a family, parents, anyone who might know who I was. But it was like I appeared out of thin air. From there I was bounced into the foster system, mostly group homes--some were okay. Others, I'd rather forget." She shivered, thinking of some of the worst nights of her life. "But when I was twelve they settled me with a man who lived just outside of the city. Unkar Plutt. He...wasn't great. But he liked the money that came in from the state for me every month. So he made sure I was taken care of just enough to keep me there." She shrugged. "I worked my butt off in school and picked a college that was as far away from Unkar and his junk yard as I could."

They were quite for a long time, Kylo rubbing her back in slow, gentle circles. The room grew darker as the sun set completely, and she felt a sliver of anxiety spike through her. What if that was too much? But then he tilted her head up and kissed her. First her forehead, then her closed eyelids, first one, then the other. He kissed her nose and her cheeks, her chin, before dotting a kiss on each corner of her mouth. Finally his lips brushed hers, once, twice, three times. 

"If I could go back in time and save you from all that heartache, I would, Sunshine. But I'm glad you're here now. That life brought you to me."

Her arms came up around his neck, and he lowered his dark head to her once again. Rey kissed him, hoping he understood how much his sweet words meant to her. 

When they finally broke their kiss, Rey flipped over and settled into the cradle of his big body, her back to his chest. Kylo began pressing tender kisses to her shoulders. Between brushes of lips over skin, he murmured, "You don't remember anything before that? Maybe from England?"

Rey closed her eyes, enjoying his ministrations while his big hands rested against her bare stomach. She wished he'd touch her--either her breasts or between her legs, but she supposed this wasn't exactly the conversation for it. 

"Well, there is one thing, I suppose. Sometimes I think it might be a dream, but other times...It feels so real," she whispered, giving voice to something she'd never told another soul. Something she hardly let herself think. "There was a big, old house. Bigger than yours. With endless hallways and rooms. I remember trying to run from one end to the other." She closed her eyes, imagining the old blue and cream carpets, the endless wooden walls hung with heavy, dark paintings. "I remember a man and a woman, watching me, maybe? Or encouraging me? I think the woman was my mother, but I don't really remember anything about her. I just...I  _feel_ that she loved me, you know? Only think I remember is that she had really long dark hair, and all I wanted was for her to smile at me. I think the man was older though. Maybe a grandfather, or an uncle? I remember him picking me up and tossing me in the air. And he had a big silver beard."

Silence descended, but it wasn't awkward. Rey was just about to ask him about his own childhood, when her stomach let out a loud rumble. 

She laughed and turned over to face him. "Oh my god, that's embarrassing."

"Hardly. I just wore you out," he said with laughter in his eyes and voice as he cupped her cheek. "I have to keep my girl fed."

Her giggle led to another round of kisses, but eventually they managed to disentangle themselves from the sheets. Kylo tossed her one of his plain black tee-shirts before pulling on a pair of sleeping pants. Rey pulled the shirt over her head, sneaking a deep inhale of his scent at the collar as she did so. Mmm, he smelled amazing. Clean. Woodsy. A touch of cinnamon. The fabric hit her midthigh, and she didn't really see the point in putting anything else on, since she assume Kylo would divest her of it soon enough. 

He made them a quick dinner, and it wasn't long before she found herself spread across the kitchen island, his cock buried to the hilt inside of her and her shirt pulled up as Kylo licked whipped cream off her tits. 

* * *

The hot spray of water fogged the glass walls and door but the condensation was cold against her skin where she was pressed up against it. Kylo kissed the back of her shoulder with burning open mouthed kisses, his sudsy hands stroking every inch of her body.

Well, almost every inch. He hadn't touched her pussy yet, despite the fact that she was begging him to. His mouth left her body for a moment and Rey let out a whimper. He must have knelt because soon she felt his hands stroking and rubbing her thighs, his mouth pressed just above the curve of her ass. 

"Bend forward, Sunshine," he commanded. 

She did as he ordered, sticking her hips out and pressing her chest more firmly against the glass. The cold surface cause her nipples to harden into needy little points. 

"Kylo please," she begged, then added, "we'll be late."

They were supposed to be getting read for dinner with his family. Instead their shared shower and turned into yet another bout of sexual exploration. 

He chuckled at her concern. "We won't. And if we are, I'll blame it on traffic."

Before she could argue with him, he began licking her from behind, his tongue teasing her slit as two fingers pressed inside of her. 

"Fuck," she gasped as he pressed in deep, rubbing her gspot. 

Kylo made a noise of approval, but didn't stop licking her. 

By the time he'd made her come twice--once with his mouth and fingers and again by picking her up and pounding into her against the shower wall--they'd run out of hot water and had to frantically scramble to actually wash themselves. 

An hour later, they were dressed in the outfits Leia had bought them, Rey in her gold and black dress, Kylo in dark slacks, his forest green dress shirt and black cashmere sweater. 

"You look beautiful," he murmured before helping pull her coat on. Rey blushed, and looked up at him from the fan of her lashes, still not used to this handsome man telling her she was lovely. 

As they made the two hour drive to Newport, Rey noticed Kylo's knuckles getting progressively whiter as he gripped the steering wheel with each mile that slipped by. And she was pretty sure he was grinding his teeth. 

Rey reached over and put her hand on his knee. "Are you okay, handsome?"

He exhaled sharply through is teeth. "Yeah."

She waited, knowing there was definitely more to it. After a long moment, he spoke again. 

"I just don't...I might...that is... _ fuck _ ." He stopped, and she saw his jaw tick as if he were chewing over his words. "I don't get along well with...my father. I had, _have_ ,  a lot of anger towards him from when I was younger. Over what happened. It was his business partner and,  _ after _ , my parents sent me to live with my uncle. He didn't contact to me for two years."

Rey waited quietly as he spoke, trying to take in all his words and anger without reaction, but with the last part, she couldn't help speaking. 

Rey's jaw dropped. "That's horrible. I'm so sorry, Kylo."

She couldn't imaging how confusing that had been for him. To have something so horrific happen, then be sent away from the people who were supposed to protect him. She may not remember her parents or have had very good parental figures throughout her life, but if Rey had a child she was certain she would never send them away. She would keep them close and safe as long as she could. 

He gave her a tight lipped smile. "It is what it is."

They were silent for a long time before he spoke again. "I just get really anxious around them. And angry." He flashed her a self-deprecating smile. "I'm sure you noticed. I just don't want you to think any less of me."

She squeezed his knee. "Nothing could make me think less of you."

He gave her a tight lipped smile, before covering her hand with his. 

Surprisingly, they were only fifteen minutes later than Leia wanted them. Rey was revealed. Kylo might not care about being timely, but she wanted to make a good impression. They got out of the car, and she suddenly realized they were empty-handed. 

"Should we have brought something?" She whispered hurriedly. "Presents, or at lease a bottle of wine?"

Kylo shook his head, "Leia said she had everything handled."

Rey nodded, but was worried about the tight look on Kylo's face, the way his usually full lips were pressed into a straight, thin line. She reached over and squeezed his hand. 

"Hey, we can leave whenever you want. Don't feel like you have to stay on my account."

Kylo squeezed her hand back. "Thanks, Sunshine."

Maybe it was kind of odd she was reassuring him before meeting his family for the first time--for Christmas, no less--but Rey could see how anxious Kylo was. Sure she was nervous too, but focusing on soothing the man at her side seemed to calm her own nerves. 

* * *

They reached the wreath-decorated door and Kylo took a deep breath before snapping the knocker sharply. Almost before he'd let go of the metal, the door swung open. He was willing to believe Leia had been camped out at the door, watching for them.

"Ben! Rey! I'm so happy you came!" Leia exclaimed, wrapping both of them in a tight hug--Kylo groaned as his six foot plus frame was tugged down to his mother's tiny level. "I hope traffic wasn't too bad."

"Hello, Leia, Happy Christmas," Rey replied. 

Kylo gave a noncommittal grunt in response as his mother shuffled them into the house, taking their coats.  

"Oh Rey, that dress looks lovely on you." His mother continued as she led them through the front hall into the main parlor. 

"Thank you so much, Leia, it's gorgeous. And so is your house!" He heard her say. 

The house rivaled Kylo's in terms of size and decor. But instead of his Gothic-Victorian aesthetic, Leia's house matched the outside in an airy, colonial-inspired style. The wooden furniture was light and gently curved, fabrics were pale and sunny. A small group of people were mingling in the large, formal room, and Leia immediately began herding Rey and himself towards them. Kylo managed to hang back, watching as his mother introduced Rey to the rest of his family. 

"Everyone, this is Rey," Leia announced. "Rey, this is my brother Luke, our good friend Chewie, My husband, Han."

Rey shook hands with everyone murmuring hellos and happy christmases at each turn. They all smiled and shook her hand and looked at her like she was some sort of mythical creature. 

Kylo didn't know how he felt about that. On the one hand, he was proud that everyone was enchanted with Rey so quickly. On the other hand, hot jealousy roiled his gut. 

Rey was his, and only he was allowed to look at her with such adoration. 

"And this, of course, is Maz, Han's mother." Leia said.

Kylo's attention snapped to the tiny woman seated in an armchair, like a queen holding court. Between his father and his Uncle Chewie, he hadn't actually seen Maz there. He watched as the older woman took Rey's proffered hand and tugged her close, scrutinizing the younger woman's face. 

"I'm not Han's birth mother as I'm sure you can tell. But I've looked after that boy since he was younger than you. You have good eyes, child." His adoptive-grandmother declared after a long moment. "Han, get this woman a chair so we can chat. And my boy," her eyes, magnified by her glasses, snapped to Kylo where he stood apart from the rest of them. "Come here and greet me properly."

Kylo jerked, surprised at being addressed, and not sure how he felt about being called "boy" at thirty years old. Without looking at his uncles or his father--the older Solo swaggering off to grab Rey a chair--Kylo strode across the room and kissed Maz's wizened cheek. 

"Merry Christmas, Maz."

"Merry Christmas. It's been entirely too long."

Kylo felt the weight of everyone's eyes on him, though he refused to look at them. The tips of his ears flushed--he was sure everyone could see the red tops sticking out from his hair. He reached up and dragged his fingers through his hair, tugging it over his ears, trying to cover them better. Fucking ears--why did he have to look so fucking weird? Kylo tugged at his collar, suddenly too warm. He didn't know what to say--sorry he could barely stand to be in the room with half of these people?

_ Shit, this was a mistake _ . 

And then he felt a light touch on his arm. Kylo glanced down to see Rey standing next to him. She looked up at him, a tentative smile on her face, and suddenly all the burning anxiety and uncertainty left him. He returned her smile, and linked his arm around her waist. 

"Rey and I will have to visit you over spring break, then."

"You had better." Maz said, a twinkle in her eye as she looked at the young couple in front of her. 

* * *

The next hour or so went by without too much awkwardness. Though the party was small, everyone seemed to break off into small groups. Kylo had taken up a corner of the room with his uncles, and tumbler of whiskey in on hand. Rey sat with Maz, the older woman keeping her there with a gentle hand on Rey's arm. Leia and Han bounced between groups--Leia offering to fetch and refill drinks or tossing out a new conversation topic when the chatter lagged. Han, for his part, seemed to be happy listening to the conversation around him.

Rey noticed, however, that Han didn't really talk to Kylo, and when he did, the younger man's shoulders tensed. 

She also noticed that when Han came over to chat with Rey, Kylo's jaw twitched and he tossed back his drink in one huge gulp.

"So, er, Mr. Solo, what do you do?" Rey ventured.

Han gifted Rey with grin. Goodness, he was handsome. Though he had lighter hair that his son, she could see where Kylo go his looks from. "Call me Han, sweetheart. And I'm a businessman. I trade in antiquities and other rare items. I also do transnational transportation."

Rey tried to puzzle out what Han just told her. 

Before Rey could reply to Han or ask another question, Leia appeared in the room. "Dinner's ready. Ben, help Maz up, will you."

* * *

Kylo made his way over to where the women were sitting and held out his hand so Maz could steady herself as she stood. He felt Rey's hand brush over his back as she walked by, and he couldn't help the smile that touched the corner of his lips.

_ Fuck he was a lucky bastard.  _

Kylo felt his smile freeze as he watched Han offer his arm to Rey is an overblown gesture. Rey took it, though Kylo could read uncertainty in her actions. She glanced back at him, and he gave her a tight-lipped smile. 

"Your father may be charming, but you don't have anything to worry about with that girl," Maz whispered to him, patting Kylo's arm. 

Kylo smiled down at the tiny woman. "Did you have a good chat with Rey?"

"I did. She's wonderful, my boy. Hold on to her."

"I intend to."

They shuffled into the dining room. Leia had resisted making a seating chart, but everyone pretty much knew where they were supposed to sit. Han and Leia at the table heads, Maz next to Han, Kylo next to Leia. Rey was across from him while Chewie and Luke filled out the rest of the spots. A minute later, his mother's housekeeper came in with a cart laden with dishes and Rey's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Kylo wasn't sure if it was the--admittedly--delicious looking food or the fact that his mother had help. 

Much to his surprised, dinner started out okay. Everyone dug into their food--mashed potatoes, various roasted and buttered veggies, turkey, stuffing, dinner rolls, and of course, Maz's mac and cheese--with only the occasional praise for the meal escaping anyone's lips while they were busy eating. 

Things started to fall apart right around the time everyone started reaching for seconds.

"So Rey, what do you do for a living?" his uncle Luke said, helping himself to another serving of potatoes. 

Rey looked up, her eyes darting between Luke and Kylo, as if she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say. Kylo gave her a reassuring nod. 

"I'm actually still in school. Mechanical engineer with an English minor."

Kylo saw his uncle get a sly look on his face. "Is that how you met our Benny-boy?"

Across the table, a lovely pink blush spread across Rey's freckled cheeks. She glanced at him, her eyes wide and unsure. Kylo gave her a small smile before glaring at his uncle. "Yes."

Chewie whistled while Luke raised his eyebrows muttering "that's interesting."

"It's not a topic for conversation." Kylo snapped. 

He knew his uncles would give him shit for dating a student. And while he could handle it, he didn't want Rey to have to deal with their bullshit. 

"Get your tenure yet?" Luke continued. 

"Review's in month." He said, voice clipped. 

"Which of course you'll get," Leia chimed in, trying to stop the fight she could no doubt see brewing. "You've published two books and god knows how many papers. Not to mention all those grants."

Kylo shrugged, uncomfortable with the conversation--it was still dangerously close to his and Rey's relationship, and they all knew it. 

"Whatever happens, we're proud of you anyway," Han suddenly spoke up. 

Kylo frowned, the sound of the old man's voice grating on his already raw nerves. "Sounds like you've decided I'm not going to get it."

Han sighed, his fork clattering on the plate. "That's not what I meant, kid. Just that if you don't get it--we're proud of you anyway."

"Proud of me for failing?"

"For fuck's sake, Ben--"

"That's enough!" Leia snapped. "Can't you boys manage one night without getting into it?"

"No, no, don't bother," he said, ignoring his mother. "You've never shown any interest in my career, why start now?" Kylo sniped, feeling petty. 

"That's bullshit and you know it," Han snapped. "You're my son. I always want to know what's going on with you."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it."

Han rolled his eyes, the dismissive gesture sending a spike of rage through Kylo. "Is this about your graduation? I told you a thousand times, I got detained in Jordan or I would have been then."

Across the table, Rey's eyes went wide, but even his girlfriend's discomfort wasn't enough to temper the anger boiling through his veins. Typical Han, always thinking his absences could be explained away. 

"No this isn't about my fucking graduation. It's about the fact that Luke caught  _ your business partner  _  touching my dick when I was eight and you took off for two years!" Kylo exploded. "You couldn't be fucked to care then, so why bother now?"

The room was dead silent, everyone frozen as the family's ugliest business was thrown out for all to see.  _ Serves them right _ , Kylo thought. They'd spend the last twenty years sweeping it under the rug. Now was time to face the fucking music. Or something. Fuck, he was so mad he couldn't think straight. 

Suddenly Han slammed his hand on the table. ""That's it! Outside, right now, Ben."

"Han! Ben!" Leia gasped. "Please."

"Sit down, princess," Han snapped, standing up.

Kylo shoved up from the table, his chair scraping hard against the floor before tumbling over. He stalked through kitchen, absently noticing his mother's housekeeper jump away from the door where she'd been listening. The two men made it outside. It was snowing, but Kylo's anger kept him warm.

* * *

Rey stared at the swinging kitchen door, unsure what to do. Part of her wanted to follow Kylo outside and make sure he was okay. But she knew that was a bad idea.

Of course he wasn't okay. 

So she sat in her chair and kept her eyes on her plate. Pushing some mashed potatoes around, she tried to stop the river of gravy from getting in her green beans. 

Everyone jumped as a loud crash exploded outside. Mustering the courage to look up, it seemed that everyone else's eyes were glued to the kitchen door. Leia was wringing her hands, twisting her wedding ring over and over around her finger. From the other side of the table, Maz caught Rey's eye.

"Don't worry honey. This fight's been brewing for twenty years. About time if you ask me."

Leia stiffened at the other woman's words. But before Rey could respond, or work out what the hell was going on under the surface, the kitchen door banged open, causing everyone to jump again. Kylo stood in the doorway, his face flushed and fists clenched. But his eyes were dangerously wet.

Rey stood, unsure what to do. 

"We're leaving." Kylo said, his voice flat. 

She scrambled over to his side, warning bells screaming in her head that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW explanation: Kylo and Han fight at dinner and Kylo reveals that Han's business partner fondled him when he was eight.


	12. In Which Kylo's World Goes Ass Over Tea Kettle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday! I got the sense y'all didn't really like the last chapter, so hopefully you enjoy this one :D

Rey drove them home. Kylo hadn't even protested when she'd held out her hand for his keys. Instead he'd just dug them out of his pocket and handed them to her. He didn't speak the entire two hour drive, and she didn't press him. Instead, she put some instrumental music on the radio and concentrated on the road. 

Now they were in his bedroom, him sitting on the bed and Rey tentatively standing in front of him. Kylo reached forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, so she settled on running her fingers through his hair and rubbing his back. It seemed soothing, and slowly the tension in his body leached out. Kylo rested his head against her chest, his arms still tight at her waist. 

Rey wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. It didn't matter, really. He'd held her while she cried about nightmares and ghosts. And how she'd do the same for him. Even if they were a different kind of ghost. 

"He was in prison."

It took her a few seconds to process his words, and still they didn't quite make sense. 

"Who was?"

Kylo didn't answer for a long moment. Slowly, he lifted his head so that he could look up at her. Rey's breath caught--Kylo's eyes were red and bloodshot, his face wet with tears. 

"Han. My father. He killed Snoke for hurting me."

Again the words took time to register. But when they did, she felt them like a fist to her stomach.

"Oh god," she gasped. She could barely imagine the devastation, the confusion. "Oh, Kylo."

"Please, Rey. Please. I can't. My brain won't stop. I can't think and I can't stop thinking. Make She traced his mouth before s lowly, she bent her head and pressed her lips to his. He tasted like salt--tears and maybe blood--but she didn't care. She kissed him slowly, their tongues coming together, touching, before retreating again. His hands at her side gripped tight, and she was sure she'd have bruises in the morning. 

Not that she minded. She'd wear them with honor. 

She broke their kiss only to tug his sweater and shirt off, leaving him bare from the waist up. Gently, she pushed against his shoulders, and Kylo laid back, stretching out across his bed. God he was beautiful--all pale skin and hard muscles. And the way he was looking at her--Christ. Like she was the only person in the world. 

Rey straddled him, letting her body settle over his. She loved the feeling of his weight on top of her; maybe he would find her just as comforting. 

Her hands drifted down his chest, stroking his muscles, running her fingernails up and down his ribs. And still she kissed him. His mouth was soft under hers, his tongue hot and willing as she teased him. Slowly her hands drifted down to his belt buckle and she worked it open before tackling his fly.

Together they managed to push his trousers and boxers down, and Rey wiggled out of her panties. She could take the dress off later, right now, they both needed him inside of her. She gripped his cock giving him a few hard pumps, her mouth never leaving his as she notched him against her entrance. God he felt good pressed against her--all hot and hard. The anticipation of taking him into her body almost as good as the tight stretch he gave her. 

Kylo whimpered, gripping her hips as she slowly sank down his thick shaft, hot aching need tearing through her with each inch. Once he was fully seated in her, their hips flush and bodies aching, she paused, taking in the burning stretch of him inside of her. 

He squeezed her hips, a silent plea and she began to move, working his cock in slow, deliberate circles and thrusts. She could feel him filling her, the thick crown of his dick dragging against her walls with each slide, hitting all the secret places inside of her. She was gasping against his mouth now, and his arms came around her tight, holding her down against him.

He rolled them suddenly, so that they were on their sides, his hands drifting down to grip her hips. To help her roll and buck along his shaft. From this angle he couldn't be a deep as before, but it felt amazing having her leg thrown over his waist, stretching her open as his big hands squeezed her ass. She shivered as pleasure coursed through her veins, he need for him increasing with ever twitch of her hips. 

Rey broke their kiss but not before sucking his lower lip into her mouth and giving it a sweet nip. She move her lips lower, kiss his jaw, his throat, down to his shoulders. She love the taste of his skin on her tongue and the feeling of his big powerful body moving between her legs. 

Kylo groaned again, thrusting up into her as he pulled her down hard. Somewhere along the line she'd lost control over what was happening. But that was fine. All she wanted was to give Kylo exactly what he needed.

And tonight, what he needed was to get lost in her. So she spread her legs wider, and bore down hard on his dick, trying to take him in as deep as she could. Fuck he felt good like that, and when he pushed her down with his hands while thrusting up, stars exploded behind her eyes. 

His breath was becoming more ragged. Rey dug her nails into his chest, her sheath feeling so hot and tight now. She was close--so fucking close. 

"Rey," her name was torn from his lips in a growl. "My Rey."

Suddenly the world spun out from under her. She didn't understand how she found herself on her hands and knees, Kylo's entire body covering her. His broad, hard chest against her back, his big hands threaded through hers as they gripped the headboard. He grunted, moving hard inside of her. 

She surrendered to him--to the feeling of his skin slick against hers, the feeling of his hot breath at her neck, his big body surrounding her, invading her in every possible sense. She felt so full of him, not just because of his big cock delving inside of her, but surrounded by him. Consumed. 

Kylo let go of her hand to roughly slick hair away from her face. His fingers curled in the strands, tugging until he could capture her lips in a hard kiss. She whimpered against him, her body beginning to shake as his cock filled her again and again. 

"Say the words, Rey," he demanded, his mouth tearing away from hers. "I can feel them in you. I need them."

She whimpered again as each pounding of his hips brought a sunburst of pleasure through her. His big hand moved down her throat, pausing to squeeze her breasts before sliding down her belly to cup where his cock moved inside of her. Kylo's deep, low voice was desperate with need. But he was right though, she wanted to say it--had been stopping herself over the last few days for all the wrong reasons--it was too soon. What if he didn't feel the same way? But now all those fears seemed inconsequential. All that mattered was the pounding of her heart in time with his as their bodies slotted and fit together.

Like they were made for each other.

He needed her tonight. Needed her comfort and her body and her heart.

Suddenly she was overwhelmed. With desire, with pleasure. 

With love.

"I love you, Kylo." She panted.

"Call me Ben," he gasped, his voice ragged as his hand pressed down on the cock inside of her belly. _Fuck_ that felt good. She pushed back against him, hard, her entire body wound tight and so, so close.

"I love you Ben," she sobbed, her entire world exploding as she squeezed and throbbed around him.

"I love you, Rey," He growled, grunted as his orgasm ripped through him, his cock throbbing deep inside of her. "My Rey."

* * *

Kylo lay in bed, taking in every detail of the woman in his arms. Her body was flushed and relaxed with sleep, her mouth open just a bit with the world's most delicate snore. She was naked now--he'd managed to pull off her dress after they'd collapsed in an exhausted heap of limbs and sweat. The sun hadn't come up yet, but the pre-dawn glow was just enough to see her.

His Rey. 

Her pretty breasts, tipped with those suckable red nipples. Her delicate waist and gently flaring hips. That ass. Damn it but he wanted to sink his teeth into one of those juicy cheeks. It would be so easy to push inside of her, wake her up with an orgasm.

He shook his head. He was being a pig. Rey was more than her body--she was sweet, and kind and smart. Beneath those gorgeous breasts was a tender heart and forgiving soul. 

Fuck but he was lucky. His entire life might have gone to shit last night, but Rey stood by him. And given him everything when he asked for it. Kylo shook his head and nuzzled her hair, taking in her sweet scent. His Rey.

_ "You're ruining your mother's dinner with that chip on your shoulder, kid," Han snapped as he turned towards his son.  _

_ Kylo sneered, his fists balled so tight at his side they hurt. "God forbid dinner be ruined." _

_ Han crossed his arms over his chest, but didn't say anything. Kylo began to pace, too angry to stay put. How fucking typical; his parents were more concerned with how his behavior was reflecting on them then how he was actually feeling. _

_ "So you wanted to have it out, old man?" Kylo finally snarled, unable to take Han's unwavering gaze. _

_ His father let out a heavy sigh. "I should have told you this years ago Ben. I don't know why we didn't--I mean I do, but it seems stupid now." _

_ "Just spit it out!" He didn't have time for these half-assed explanations. _

_ "I didn't leave you. Or take off, or whatever you think. Ben, I was in prison. I killed him, and I went to prison but for two years, thanks to your mother's connections. We didn't want to drag you into the media circus, or scare you by seeing your dad in prison. So we kept you at Luke's until I got parole." _

_ Kylo stilled mid-pace, his head swiveling towards his father as the older man's words sunk in. "You...you killed him?" _

_ Han nodded, taking a step towards his son. "I was so mad, Ben. Furious. I could barely _ see _. I wanted to tear him limb from limb for what he did to you. What he was planning to do. You were my little boy and I didn't protect you." Han stopped for a moment, trying to compose himself. "I found him outside a restaurant laughing with some other associates like nothing was wrong. I hit him. I hit him as hard as I could. He was so old he went down with one swing, but I didn't stop. I hit him again and again until he was nothing but mush." _

_ Han's words ran through Kylo's head, jumbled and out of order. The images they conjured ugly and raw. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost a growl.  _

_ "Why didn't you tell me?" _

_ Han's face was bleak. He knew he'd fucked up, but Kylo didn't have it in him to care. _

_ "We wanted to, Ben. But we were scared it would hurt you more. All the media, the pictures-- _ Christ!  _ Those were bad enough. We just wanted you safe. You were my little boy. I loved you the moment your mother told me she was pregnant." _

_ "So you let me think my own father didn't give a shit about me? That you were so disgusted _ with me _ that you ran away for two fucking years?" Fuck, he couldn't breath. His chest was tight, his vision wavering.  _

_ "Ben--" _

_ Kylo let our a scream, his vision going red as he lifted up one of his mother's wooden deck chairs and hurled it across the yard. "MY NAME IS KYLO. Ben was weak and pathetic. He died twenty years ago." _

_ Han moved towards him, maybe to restrain him from throwing more furniture, maybe to hug him, but Kylo didn't want a fucking thing to do with him at the moment. His entire world was crumbling. He shoved pasted the older man, his brain screaming at five hundred miles an hour as he tried to stop his world from dissolving. Everything had been a lie--everything fucking thing he'd built his entire life on. His identity.  _

_ It was all a lie. _

_ Kylo barreled into the house, ignoring his father's protests.  _

Fuck, gotta get out of here. _ He thought. _ Need...need whiskey. Need _ Rey.  _

_ He burst into the dining room, frantically searching for her. When he found her--eyes wide and confused--he felt something in his gut relax.  _

_ Rey, my Rey.  _

Rey shifted a little in his arms and Kylo snapped back to the present. Last night had been intense. Hell he still felt like his entire world had been turn on it's ass. But he knew he'd be much further gone--maybe down a whiskey bottle, maybe just in a haze of rage and pain--if it weren't for the woman currently nestled up against him.

As if she heard his thoughts, Rey's eyes fluttered open and she gave him a languorous smile. "Morning handsome. Mmm I was gonna get up and surprise you with breakfast, but you're already up."

Kylo leaned forward, capturing her lips for a soft kiss. 

"I'd rather stay in bed with you," he murmured. "Don't want to let you out of my sight."

Rey stilled save for her hand curling into his chest. "How are you?"

Kylo shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know. I feel...raw. I think. I need time to process."

She nodded, and snuggled close, pressing a kiss just over his heart. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

What ever her had done in a past life to deserve this woman, he would never know. But it must have been beyond words. 

"I know," he whispered, feeling a gentle sense of calm settle over him at her words. "Are you okay, Sunshine? Last night was...intense."

_ I love you, Kylo. I love you, Ben _ . Her words echoed in his mind. Could he really be lucky enough that it was real? 

Rey tilted her head up, searching out his darker gaze with her bright hazel eyes. "I mean what I said. I love you, Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. It doesn't matter what you want me to call you. I know who you are."

He stared at her, at the intensity in her gaze. She was so fierce. 

"And who is that?"

She shrugged, as if it was obvious. "The man I love."

Kylo grinned. Cupping her face between his hands, he kissed her, rolling them so that she was on her back, her legs around his waist. 

"I love you too, Sunshine."

* * *

Rey sat quietly on one of the window seats in Kylo's home office, wrapped up tight in a big blanket with a mug of cocoa on her lap. she was watching the snowfall. Behind her, Kylo was busy typing on his computer while classical music drifted from the speakers. He was working on his tenure dossier. New Years was in a few days, and after that, the semester would start soon enough.

Rey shivered. They'd been living in their little holiday bubble, but soon things would change. They had to. Could she even stay here once school started? She remembered the way Kylo's uncle had teased him at dinner--he didn't have tenure and he was shacked up with a student. But now the words seemed more ominous. What if...what if she got him fired?

Rey shook her head.  _No_. She would not allow that to happen.

She had to come up with a plan. _Okay, first of all, housing._  

Well, her campus job would start back up a few days before the semester--Campus Housekeeping wanted to give the dorms a good cleaning before the students moved back in. Maybe she could move back to the Stardust the first or second week of school. She could take the bus to campus until then...

She glanced over at Kylo, taking in his profile--the way his mouth was set in a firm line while he worked, his eyes bright and brows furrowed. His thick hair hung around his face like a dark halo; Rey couldn't help but smile at that. Kylo Ren was no angel. But he was hers.

She would do  _anything_ to protect him.

Kylo caught her eye, a grin breaking over his face. "What's up sweetheart?"

She shook her head, a matching smile on her face. "Nothing. Just thinking about how handsome you are."

Kylo snorted and shook his head. "Sure."

Rey took a deep breath and set her mug on the window sill. "So I was thinking..."

"Mmm?" He glanced up from the screen for a minute before returning his attention on his work. 

"I was thinking since my job should start a few days before classes, I can probably be out of here by the second week. The Stardust isn't terribly expensive, so my first paycheck should cover it."

Kylo's fingers froze over the keyboard as his head swiveled to look at her. "What?"

She felt herself flush under his stare, but she kept going. "I can move back into my old room at the Stardust. You know, get out of your hair."

Rey frowned, watching as Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Once more, what the hell are you talking about?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Me moving out, of course."

Kylo stood suddenly, striding across the room before dropping to a crouch in front of her. One big hand curled around the back of her neck, his dark eyes pinning hers. A muscle ticked in his cheek, and he seemed to be grinding his teeth. 

_ Oh shit _ . Kylo Ren was not happy. 

When he spoke, each word was grit out through clenched teeth. "And why are you moving out?"

Rey swallowed. "Well, the semester's starting..."

"And?"

"Aaaannd what if someone sees us? Or realizes were living together? I won't get you fired for...for  _ fraternizing _ with a student," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

The hand at the back of her neck tightened for a second, giving a sharp squeeze before relaxing. "First of all, we're not fraternizing. We're in a relationship. You've met my parents. Fucking hell, Rey. I  _ love _ you. Second, you're not moving out."

"But what about your tenure?" 

Kylo growled. "I don't give a fuck about my tenure. Compared to having you beside me. In my house, my bed. Compared to knowing you're safe and taken care of--" He broke off, shaking his head. "Tenure is nothing."

His words settled into her skin, weighing as heavily as everything and nothing. The look in his eyes was so earnest and fierce. The hand at her neck burned pleasantly, his scent surrounded her. There was a small part of her, the part that was still in many ways the lonely little girl who had been found wandering the Garden District, that feared however much he loved her  _ now _ Kylo would eventually tire of her. Not that it would be a fault on his end. No, she was afraid that eventually he'd  _ see _ her. See that she wasn't enough. 

And then he'd leave like everyone else. 

But she wanted to believe Kylo would be different. She had to believe that. 

She gave him a tentative smile. "Okay."

He released a heavy breath, "Okay."

Kylo leaned forward, his lips brushing against hers, nibbling at her lips until his tongue flicked forward. Rey shifted, her legs swinging down the edge of the window seat. Kylo knelt, pressing against her body with his, his lips tasting and sipping at her mouth. 

Rey let out a little scream as he lifted her, pulling her legs around his waist. 

"Let's go celebrate," he murmured against her lips. 

"Celebrate?" Rey managed to ask between kisses. 

"You living with me."

She laughed, throwing her head back. It turned to a moan as Kylo's mouth pressed against her neck, sucking and biting. 

"I love you, Kylo Ren."

"I know."


	13. In Which the Shit Hits the Fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After much ado, I'm back! Thank you for being so patient with me and for leaving me such encouraging comments on my announcement / note thing. I hope you like this chapter; its a combination of what I was planning for 13 (super trimmed down) and chapter 14--and I think it worked out for the better. Be on the look out for the old chapter 13 posted as a one-shot. 
> 
> After this chapter, we have five more chapters to go! Eeep I can't believe how close we are! On that note, I may end up posting every other Friday, instead of every Friday. I'll try to do it every week, but I've got my dissertation prospectus defense coming up next month, so I have limited time to work on fanfic womp womp :(
> 
> I'm also working on a new story for after this on is done. I'll give you a hint...Once upon a time, there was young girl named Rey who liked to go for long walks in the woods. Her auntie told her to stay on the path, for there were many dangers lurking in the forest, and one cannot always tell a wolf for his clothing.

Kylo ducked his head in the game room, confirming that Rey was happily snuggled on the sofa watching _Wonder Woman_ while she waited for him to bring popcorn and drinks. The last few days has been difficult--every time he felt almost normal, the memories of his conversation with Han would slam into him like a fist to the gut. _Everything_ he thought he knew about himself, about the last twenty years, about his family, had been built on a lie. The abandonment, the loneliness, the pain. It was all for...nothing.

Kylo didn't know where to go from here. How to rebuild from the shambles. He knew he should probably call his therapist but doing so would make it more real.

So he threw himself into his relationship with Rey. She'd been so wonderful. His little Rey of sunshine had giving him space to talk and space to be silent. She was always eager with a kiss or to hold him. Still, he knew he'd have to face reality sometime. The new semester was starting soon, and with it a whole slew of issues would present themselves. A small part of him knew Rey was probably right. Living together would create problems, especially if the wrong people in the department caught wind.

But he didn't want to lose her. Lose the easy way they were together. How she calmed him and brought a sense of peace to his otherwise tumultuous life.

His phone vibrated in his pocked. Kylo fished it out with a frown. Glancing at the screen he declined the call. It was his mother--Leia had been calling two or three times a day, of it wasn't Leia, it was Han, or Luke, or Chewie. Why couldn't they understand he needed time to process everything? Jumping down his throat about it wasn't going to help. It just made him more resentful. 

He didn't understand why they couldn't see that. 

Hell, even the house seemed to know. It had been odd lately. There had been no ghosts, but it was like the house itself was on edge. Surly. The lights might not come on with the first flick of the switch. The hot water ran out faster than it should. He found himself tripping over carpets or stray chairs that were just _slightly_ out of place.

Kylo shook his head, and made his way to the kitchen. Maybe he was just on edge. He grabbed some sodas and snacks before getting back to Rey. When she saw him in the doorway she grinned and scooted over so he could snuggle with her.

She sighed happily as she popped the tab on her coke. "I want to be Wonder Woman when I grow up."

Kylo smiled, giving her knee a squeeze. "You are grown up."

"Yeah, but I'm not done with school yet. Maybe I could switch my major to Wonder Woman Studies."

He did laughed, then. Distracted from his dark thoughts by her brightness. "Sadly I don't think we offer that."

She huffed. "You should change that. But I guess I can stick with Mechanical Engineering and English."

He made a noncommittal noise before grabbing a handful of popcorn. 

"Speaking of which, did you sign up for classes yet?"

Rey grinned, her face lighting up at the thought of classes. "Yup! Circuits, fluids, materials, design and manufacture. And of course, Russian Lit. II."

Kylo raised an eyebrow. "First of all, half of those sound like things, not classes. Second of all, what is that, 18 credits? That sounds like a full plate."

Rey shrugged a tossed some popcorn at him. "My scholarship only covers four years. I have to fit everything in."

Kylo caught the popcorn she threw at him with a snap of his teeth, causing her to laugh. This set off a competition to see who could catch more in their mouth and who had the better aim. By the time they were done the only thing that had been determined was that they'd be finding popcorn kernels in the sofa cushions for the next decade. 

"I can't believe the semester starts in like a week," Rey commented. "It's New Years Eve then FDOC!"

Kylo cocked his head, "F-doc?"

Rey gave him a disparaging look. "First day of class."

Before he could say anything else, his phone rang again.  _ Leia _ . Kylo sighed, utterly tired of having to deal with his family. With the constant ringing phone and the desperate voice messages. He was suddenly desperate to get out of the house for a while. 

"Hey, do you want to go out for New Years?" Kylo asked. "We don't have to do anything fancy. Maybe just dinner and drinks?"

Rey looked uncertain, but she nodded, maybe a little too enthusiastically. "Sure. Sounds like fun!"

* * *

Rey wasn't totally convinced going out for New Year Eve was the best idea--given that they could run into any number of students of faculty of the university. But Kylo needed a night out. She could see it on his face when his phone rang for the millionth time in half a week. She could understanding where Leia and Han had been coming from--the desperate need to put things to right with their son. And she could even, _maybe_ , understand their choices all those years ago. But the damage they'd unwittingly done while trying to protect Kylo...well, it was heartbreaking.

Rey shook her head. Now was not the time for such morose thoughts. She looked over at Kylo as they walked down the hallway to the dance club they'd decided to go to. He looked handsome in his white button up and black trousers. His hair was tousled and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Rey grinned; she was the luckiest women in the bar. She hadn't had much in the way of going out clothes, but she thought she looked nice enough in a pair of black leggings and a cute tshirt dress. Plus, she knew the benefit of some Great Lash mascara and pink lipstick.

The heavy beat of club music echoed around them. Kylo led her to the darkened room, where strobe lights in every color of the rainbow flashed in time with the music. A long metallic bar dominated the far side of the room and mirrors covered every wall. Couples and larger groups of people were already filling the dance floor, all in party dresses and button-ups or suits.

"Want a drink?" Kylo asked, leaning down until she could feel the warmth of his breath on her neck.

She nodded and they made their way over to the bar. Kylo ordered himself a double whiskey neat and Rey got a Long Island iced tea. They moved away from the bar to the edge of the dance floor. She sipped her drink for a moment, taking in the scene. She'd gone out a few times with friends and acquaintance, but between studying and working, she hadn't had much time for parties. This was fun though! Something about being an anonymous face in the crush of people, of losing yourself in the music and booze.

Kylo stood behind her, his hand at her waist, his fingers splayed and possessive. Rey swayed to the music, her ass rubbing against the front of his trousers every few beats. She could feel his cock begin to harden, his big body curling around her, his hand tightening at her waist.

"Dance with me, Kylo!" Rey exclaimed. Capturing his hand, she tugged him out to the dance floor.

Kylo reluctantly followed her. After a minute she could see why. Poor Kylo was absolutely hopeless at dancing. Rey stifled a laugh as he stood awkwardly shuffling from side to side.

Rey grabbed his hips and make him rock them back and forth. "Like this!"

After a few moments Kylo seemed to loosen up. Rey did laugh, then, and shimmed around. Capturing his hands, she put them on her hips and continued to rock to the music. Suddenly Kylo lifted her up and spun them around.

"So you _do_ know how to dance!" She shouted over the heavy beat.

Kylo grinned, his dimples popping. God he was gorgeous when he smiled like that. "More ballroom, less club."

They continued dancing--finding their own rhythm of more classy moves mixed with the hard grinding that their fellow club goers were doing. If anyone though they looked silly, Rey didn't care. She loved they way they moved together, fitting perfectly together.

Ten minutes before midnight the bar began passing out champagne. Kylo snagged them two flutes before wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close. Rey snuggled into him and turned her attention to the giant flatscreen that was set to Time Square.

The lights began to flash as the countdown started. Kylo pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.

"TEN-NINE-EIGHT-SEVEN-SIX--"

Rey turned around to face Kylo, looping one arms around his shoulders.

'FIVE-FOUR-THREE-TWO-ONE--"

She clinked their glasses together before they knocked back the champagne. 

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Kylo swooped down, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss. After a long moment, he pulled away just long enough to rub the tip of his nose down the bridge of hers. "Happy New Year, Rey."

She grinned. "Happy New Year, Kylo."

* * *

 

Kylo leaned against a high-top table, sipping his drink while he waited for Rey to come back from the bathroom. Suddenly a heavy hand clapped his shoulder. he turned, ready to snap at whoever was bothering him. 

"Ren, what the devil are you doing here?" Came the slightly slurred speech of Armitage Hux. 

Kylo groaned as dread filled his stomach. Of all the fucking people to run into, it just had to be Hux, didn't it? If the other man saw Rey... _ Shit. _ Kylo had to get rid of his colleague, and fast. 

"Just leaving, actually." Kylo said. 

Hux stared pointedly at Kylo's half-full glass of whiskey. Kylo quickly knocked it back, swallowing the alcohol in two large gulps. 

"As I was saying--"

He stopped short as a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind. He froze as he felt a face press between his shoulders.  _ Shit shit shit _ . Hux's eyes went wide and Kylo knew he was truly fucked unless he could get Rey out of the bar in the next five seconds. 

"The line was so long! I finally just ducked into the gents!" Rey said with a laugh, twisting under Kylo's arm to snuggle at his side. 

This was fine. This was okay. Maybe Hux wouldn't recognize her. 

"I didn't realize you were here with anyone," Hux practically purred. 

iI was like the entire world slowed. Rey's head snapped up at the sound of Hux's voice, and the other man's eyes widened in shock and recognition as she took in Rey's arm around Kylo's waist. Rey squeaked, realizing too late that they were in a dangerous situation. He felt her stiffen at his side, but she didn't move away from him. 

"Miss Jaqueau," Hux said stiffly. "I didn't realize you and Professor Ren were so...well acquainted."

Rey didn't dignify his jab with an answer. 

"Fuck off, Hux," Kylo growled, surprising himself, even, at the menace in his voice. 

But he didn't like the way Hux was looking at Rey now. Not one fucking bit. 

"Now, now, Ren--no need to be rude." He had a gleam in his beady little eyes now. He was practically rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain for fuck's sake. "So, the mighty Kylo Ren is fucking a student, hmm? Such a scandal. That is, if the wrong person were to find out. Just think--your tenure? So sad. Miss Jaqueau's reputation? Hmm, maybe not everyone will known she's your whore right away but--"

Kylo's fists curled into the other man's shirt as his ginger head bounced off the table. He didn't remember moving or slamming Hux down, but here they were. Glass and alcohol littered the floor and distantly he could hear the shouts of surprise form the other club goers. Kylo was breathing heavily, his shoulder heaving and hands shaking as he tried desperately not to loose his shit in the middle of a club. 

"Don't fucking talk about her like that you slimy piece of shit."

Instead of cowering or fighting back, Hux began to laugh. At the deranged sound chills ran down Kylo's spine.  _Fuck_. This was not good. 

"You bloody idiot," Hux crowed. "You really have fucked her. Was it worth it? Was the tight little cunt worth your tenu--"

Hux didn't finish because Kylo had slammed his fist into the other man's face. Again, and again. 

He slowly became aware that Rey had been holding onto his arm, trying to pull him off the other man. Now stronger hands grabbed him, finally wresting him away from Hux. 

"That it buddy, you've had enough. Time to leave." 

Kylo yanked himself out of the bouncer's grip and cast around, eyes wild and heart pounding until he lighted on Rey. As their eyes met, his heart sunk. 

He knew that look on her face. That fear in her eyes. She tried to smile at him, to reassure him. But he could read her well enough to know when she was thinking about running. 

_ Shit. _

* * *

 

Why was it that every time they left the house, it was a disaster? Leave for dinner at Kylo's parents? He and Han get in a fight and Kylo's his entire world is turned upside down. Go out for a few drinks on New Years? Kylo gets into a fight with a colleague at the bar, who now knows they're together. Rey supposed nothing horrible happened when they left to get a Christmas tree, but then again that was the same night the house when nuts and threw furniture at them.

The ride home was quite, each of them lost in thought. She felt the silence like a great chasm, stretching between them. And no matter what way she thought about it, she couldn't see any way across it. 

Professor Hux knew that she and Kylo were together.  _ Hux _ . Kylo didn't talk much about his colleague, but when he did mention the other professor's name it was easy enough to guess how he felt about the man. Not to mention the horrid experience she'd had in his class. Hux was the type of professor who didn't tolerate opinions contrary to his own. He'd nearly failed her term paper because she proposed an argument that contradicted what he'd preached in class. Only going to the head of the department had saved her. 

And now he knew. He could hold it over Kylo's head. Or he could go directly to the department chair and have him sacked. Either would be bad. 

And it would be all her fault. 

Hux's vicious words echoed in her head:  _ was the tight little cunt worth it? _

She looked over at Kylo. He was frowning, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. 

No, she didn't think it was worth it. Not for him, anyway. She could bear being whispered about and mocked. She could bear her classmates ignoring her or calling her a slut. But she couldn't bear the thought of Kylo losing everything he'd worked so hard for. Especially when everything else in his life was in such an upheaval. 

Suddenly Kylo's hand snaked across the console, capturing hers. He gave her a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be okay, Sunshine. Hux likes to talk a big game, but he's not going to do anything."

Rey frowned and wondered if his words sounded as hollow to him as they did to her. "Are you sure?"

He didn't answer for a long moment. Then,  "please, Rey...please."

She knew what he mean.  _Please stay with me. Please don't be afraid. Please don't give up on us._

She felt her voice catch when she tired to answer him. Instead, she simply  nodded. 

By the time they reached the house, the sky was lighter. Not yet sunrise, exactly, but cool and grey and ready for dawn. When they finally settled into bed, Rey soothed herself by memorizing the feeling of his arms around her. Of his big body curled so protectively around her smaller one. Of the way he smelled and the tickle of his silken hair against her skin. And then, when she was very sure he was asleep, she carefully maneuvered out of his arms. She leaned down and pressed her lips over his cheek. 

_ I'm sorry. You'll hate me for this, but it's the only way. You'll see eventually. _ She though, staring at him before grabbing his phone from the beside table. Rey slipped into her own bedroom, so long neglected, and stuffed her few possessions in her dufflebag. She debated about whether or not to take Leia and Kylo's Christmas presents. In the end, she left the dress and took the journal and pens. Without a pause to allow herself time to think about what she was doing--or, rather, to stop herself from doing what needed to be done-- she called Bazine. 

Baz asked, picking up on the second ring. "Yes?"

"Baz," Her voice broke as the weight of her decision slammed into her. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. 

"Rey? Rey, is something the matter?" 

"Baz I need you to come get me."  
  



	14. In Which There Is Much Mutual Pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, happy Friday. Thanks for all the lovely comments on the last chapter. Also, I signed up for a ko-fi account. Please don't feel obligated to donate, but I thought I'd post the link. https://ko-fi.com/queenoftheprocrastination

 "What do you mean I can't drop the class?" Rey all but shouted at the poor peer-advisor in the registrar's office. 

The girl gave her a wide-eyed look, as if being emotionally invested in her class schedule was weird. 

"Well, for your English minor your need to complete two semesters of non-American regional lit. You've already done Russian I. If you wanted to start over it would set you back a year, since first level courses are only offered in the fall."

Rey groaned. What the hell was she going to do? She couldn't afford--literally--an extra year of school. But the thought of dropping her English minor entirely was awful. Reading was all she had when she was younger. There had been so many long nights when Rey hadn't been able to (or wouldn't let herself) sleep; the only way to get through them was huddled under the covers, flashlight in hand, losing herself in a book. 

But if she couldn't start her regional lit requirement over, and she wasn't willing to drop her English major that meant...fuck. She was going to have to be in _his_  class. All semester. 

Rey grimace, her heart already pounding in overtime at the thought of seeing him again. She snatched up her backpack. "Thanks, Connix. No worries then, I'll just deal with it."

Without waiting for a reply, Rey left the registrar's office and headed across campus. It was a cold January day, the sun was weak in the sky and the clouds on the horizon promised snow soon. Rey tugged her jacket closer. The zip had broken, but if she sort of hunched over and held the sides together, it worked well enough. 

Despite the cold, dreary weather, students milled about campus--wandering between dorms, ducking into the bookstore and the dining hall. Rey's stomach growled at the thought. She'd had breakfast as Baz's this morning, but she had to wait until supper to eat again. Her paycheck hadn't come in yet--not until the end of the week. She knew the other woman would have packed her a lunch if she knew--Baz was surprisingly maternal--but Rey already felt bad enough loafing around her apartment without paying rent. 

The English and Modern Languages building loomed in front of her, and she slipped inside. Classes had started Tuesday, but obviously she hadn't had her Monday-Wednesday-Friday class yet. Rey groaned. She shouldn't have left dropping it til the last minute, but honestly she hadn't been in any state to think about it over the last week. 

The classroom was small--not one of the big pit halls for the intro lectures, but not the smallest room she'd been in, either. There were probably about twenty students or so sitting at desks or chatting. Rey glanced at the clock--two minutes until class started. 

She chose a desk in the back corner, hoping to make herself less visible, she supposed. She began to unpack her notebook when suddenly a shadow fell over her desk. Rey looked up.

"Hey Peanut! How was your break?"

Rey grinned. Finn. "It was, um, fine. How was yours?"

Finn worked custodial services with her and the two had bonded last year when they'd been stuck cleaning up the horror that was dorm bathrooms after Homecoming. 

Finn grinned, his white teeth nearly blinding. "It was good. Poe and I went to Aruba."

She was about to reply when the classroom door banged open. Rey's heart clenched and she felt dangerously close to vomiting as Kylo strode in. He cast his gaze over the class, pausing for just a moment when he saw her. Rey felt her cheeks heat. God dammit. The last time she'd seen him...

_The pounding on the front door had woken her up. Bang bang BANG. A moment later Baz appeared in the spare bedroom's door way. She was still dressed from the night before._

_"Your professor is at the door. Should I send him away?"_

_Rey wanted to protest that he wasn't_ her _professor, not anymore. She glanced at the clock--7:00 am. He must have been up all night._

_"I'll talk to him." Refusing to see him would be cowardly, and she was sick enough already of her cowardice._

_Baz nodded and disappeared. Rey got out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt and leggings over her pjs. She made her way to the front door and stopped short. Kylo stood in the doorway; the sight of him sending her heart into panic. His hair was rumpled and sticking up as if he'd been running his fingers through it. He had dark circles under his eyes, looking like bruises against his unusually sallow skin._

You did this to him _, she thought, feeling like she was about to vomit in disgust at herself._

_"Rey." Her name fell from his lips like a cruse. An accusation._

_Maybe a prayer._

_She stopped a few feet from him._

_"How did you find me?"_

_He stared at her, eyes raking over her slightly hunched form, no doubt seeing the smudges under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well either._

_"You used my phone."_

_She winced. Of course. She really ought to buy herself a phone. But phones cost money, even the cheap prepaid ones._

_She looked up at him again. Kylo looked as if he were in pain. Deep, gnawing, pain that was spreading from his chest to the pit of his stomach and outwards to his limbs. A slow disease that would eventually devour him whole. She knew. She knew because it was the same pain she felt every moment. God, how easy it would be to apologize and run back into his arms._

_"Rey, why did you leave?"_

_Why did he have to keep saying her name? Each time it was like a sharp slice to her heart._

_"Surely you must know." She finally said, unable to look away from his dark, penetrating gaze. He didn't reply, and Rey felt a frustration coursing through her veins. "I won't be the reason your career is ruined."_

_A muscle in his jaw ticked. "I told you, Hux isn't going to do anything."_

_She shook her head. "You say that, but you don't know."_

_Kylo slammed the side of his fist into the door jamb, causing her to jump._

_"Dammit, Rey. I don't care! Hux can go fuck himself. And so can anyone who has a problem with us."_

_It was Rey's turn to grind her teeth in frustration. "You say that now. But how will you feel when you actually lose your tenure? Or get fired? You'll hate me!"_

_The look in Kylo's eyes was pure anguish. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his face, cupping his cheek against her palm before pressing a kiss to her wrist._

_"I could never hate you, Rey. I love you."_

_She shook her head, and slowly pulled her hand from him. "Sometimes love isn't enough, Ben. My mother loved me. But she still left in the end."_

_She had closed the door, not waiting--not wanting--to hear what he had to say in reply. She'd spent the rest of the morning crying with Baz's usually taciturn Persian cat snuggled in the crook of her arm._

"Rey Jaqueau? Rey?"

Rey snapped out of memory to the sound of Kylo's silken voice saying her name. "Here." She mumbled, keeping her eyes on her notebook. 

* * *

 

"Miss Jaqueau, a word before you leave," Kylo yelled over the sound of students shuffling papers and books back into their bags. 

At the sound of his voice, Rey's head snapped up, her eyes wide like a rabbit catching the scent of a wolf. She gave a short, jerky nod. 

Class was a damn nightmare, Kylo groused to himself. Though he had seen her name on the class roster when he printed it off earlier that day, he hadn't actually thought Rey would be in his class. Usually it took the registrar a few days to update add/drops, especially during the busy first week of semester. But when he had walked in the room--eyes searching for as he prayed he didn't find her, yet hoping he did--and saw her sitting in the back corner, his heart had stopped. 

Why the hell was she here? Wasn't it bad enough that she'd left him, snuck out of bed in the middle of the night like a coward. No note, no indication of where she'd gone, just missing. Like a gaping hole in his house. In his heart. Now she was in his class. He could  _feel_ her there, even when he wasn't looking at her. It was like his body was attuned to hers through some mysterious force. 

Rey waited until everyone else had left, and Kylo didn't miss the fact that she'd said something to the over-eager boy--Finn?--who'd been hovering around her like a fly around a honey-bun. Much to his frustration, he felt jealousy well up inside of him at the thought of Rey with another man--a boy, really--so soon after she'd left.

He watched as she approached the front of the room, her eyes wary as if he might snatch her where she stood and ravish her on the desk. She stopped about a foot and half away from him. Just out of reach. Kylo frowned. 

"Yes, Professor?" She ventured, not quite meeting his gaze. 

"Why are you still in this class?" He snapped, angered at her timid behavior. Where was his brave girl who'd confidently charmed a room full of Skywalkers and Solos?

She looked down at her feet. "I can't drop it."

"Why the hell not?" He demanded. "The add/drop deadline isn't until next month." It wasn't _fair_. She left him, and how here she was in his class, reminding him of what he'd lost three times a week. 

She began twisting a lock of hair around her finger, her expression distressed. Did she not like him shouting at her? Well too bad, the thought petulantly. She deserved to have some sense knocked into her. 

"It would add another year of school for me to start the requirement over." Her voice was soft. 

He stared at her, taking her in. His Rey. She looked tired--had dark smudges under her eyes. But otherwise she was just as lovely as she'd been before. Her soft hair was down around her shoulders, but pulled back from her face. Her lush lips were still candy pink, and he felt he sudden urge to lick them, to see if they were as sweet as they looked. 

Kylo frowned, and crushed that inclination. She wasn't his to lick and kiss and love any more. But he still couldn't stop himself from reaching for her, hand outstretched in a silent plea. 

"Rey, I--"

The classroom door banged open. Rey jumped back as a startled freshman stuck their head into the door. Kylo growled and the student quickly backed out. But it was too late. Rey turned around and fled the room. 

* * *

  _Two Weeks Later_

Rey groaned as she trudged up the stairs to the English building. Class started in two minutes, but she couldn't make herself go any faster. It was torture---actual emotional torture--to sit in that room and listen to Kylo lecture and discuss, to interact with the other students. Especially, her traitorous brain pointed out, the pretty girls who all clamored to sit up front and practically threw themselves at him. Rey could have sworn she'd seen a girl with "Love You" written on her eyelids. 

Not only that, but they'd begun reading _War and Peace_ , which meant the discussions were a special kind of hell. 

She slid through the classroom door the moment the clock hit 1:00, and hurried across the room to sit next to Finn. He gave her a quick grin before Kylo began the lecture. 

"We'll be spending a significant amount of the semester reading our next novel, _War and Peace_ , which is considered to be Tolstoy's masterpiece. A sprawling epic set in the Russian Empire during the Napoleonic wars, thought to survey the entire spectrum of human emotion. Is anyone familiar with this novel? Read it before, or otherwise engaged with the text?"

 Several hands went up. The first person he call on--a pretty girl with yellow hair named Anne--practically squealed with delight as she went on and on about how romantic Natasha and Pierre were, how they were the Russian version of Lizzy Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Just as Anne was finished gushing over bookish, quiet Pierre, another girl pipped up and said that it wasn't Natasha and Pierre who were romantic, it was Natasha and Prince Andrei. 

 Kylo finally interjected after subjecting the class to about five minutes of the argument. 

"I didn't realize you were all so passionate about _War and Peace_."

"There was that mini-series," Anne supplied, fluttering her lashes. Rey rolled her eyes. 

"Ah." Kylo shook his head. "I applaud your interest, but I hate to inform you that you may not find Natasha such a romantic figure after reading the actual novel. She's a selfish, spoiled girl who jilts Andrei at first sight of trouble. Runs off with a dissolute wretch."

Rey's stomach dropped at the anger in Kylo's voice, though she didn't think anyone else noticed it. God, swap out the names and he could be talking about them. Is that really how he saw her? A spoiled, selfish girl? Maybe he was right, but Rey still felt that he didn't understand that she hadn't run away at the first sight of trouble, she was protecting him. It was the right thing to do. Wasn't it? If she'd stayed with him, Hux would have ruined his career. 

And he'd hate her for it. Eventually. 

Yes, it was the right thing to do, even if he didn't realize it. 

The rest of class passed in a blur, as Kylo went over the complex historical and cultural background to the novel. When he finally dismissed everyone, Rey scampered out the door before he could call her to the front to speak. He hadn't done so since the first class, but she didn't want to chance it. 

"Hey, Rey, wait up!" Finn called behind her. 

Rey stilled, moving to the side of the hallway so she didn't get crushed by the sudden flood of students moving through the building. 

"Hey Finn," she greeted, plastering a smile onto her face.

Finn stopped next to her, still smiling, though his eyes were curious. "How've you been?"

Rey shrugged. "Fine. Busy with work and school."

He shook his head. "I mean, I are you okay? You seem kind of....down? Off? I dunno. Do you need me and Poe to knock some heads together?"

Rey laughed at the idea of Finn and his boyfriend Peo beating up Professor Hux--she'd never sent them after Kylo, but Hux could do with a good shit-kicking. Thinking about Hux, about Kylo, suddenly felt like too much. It was all so much. Seeing him every week, hearing his voice. Seeing Hux skulking about the department. Rey could feel her mood crash, her smile deflate. Before she knew what had happened, she'd burst into tears. 

"Shit. I'm sorry," she snuffled, trying to wipe away the water on her face. But the more she wiped, the more tears fell. "I don't know what's wrong with me lately."

Much to her surprise, Finn wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. Rey was stiff for a minute, unused to touching someone else--someone besides Kylo, at any rate--but after a moment she rested her head against his shoulder. 

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to, but I'm here for you, Peanut." 

Rey couldn't help the small smile that broke through her tears at the nickname. The first time they'd worked together, Finn had offered her some peanuts from the vending machine and Rey--in a fit of hunger from not eating for the past two days--had demolished them.  

The hall had cleared now, leaving only  the two of them among the closed classroom doors. Footsteps echoed on the linoleum though, indicating that someone nearby was walking. Rey pulled away from Finn and gave him a soft smile. 

"Thanks, Finn. I'll be okay."

* * *

 Kylo sank into his office chair, covering his face with his hands. He'd seen her, crying, in the hallway with Finn Storm holding her. _His Rey_ , sobbing in another man's arms. The sight had been a hammer to the gut. He didn't understand. If she was so fucking miserable, why had she left him? 

It had taken all his considerable self-control not to tear her away from her friend and comfort her himself. But that was the problem; she didn't want him to comfort her. He was the reason for all those tears. 

This was a damn mess. His life was a damn mess. Though his tenure review had been fine, though he wouldn't know if they chose to renew his contract with a promotion to Associate Faculty until closer to the April. Hux was still hovering around, as if waiting to strike. Kylo had no doubt that he if were offered tenure and Hux wasn't, the ginger bastard would go straight to the department chair to tattle. 

He ran his hands through his hair and groaned. He wasn't sleeping, he was barely eating. The house was obnoxious since Rey left. Shadows flitting across his bedroom walls, lamps and knick-knacks knocked to the floor. His fridge had mysteriously stopped working, leaving all his food to spoil. And that fucking photo album kept dropping out from nowhere into his lap, practically. He'd brought the stupid thing with him to work after nearly tripping down the stairs over it.

Kylo cast a baleful eye at the black album, where it was sitting almost innocently on the corner of his desk. With a vicious shove, Kylo sent the tome flying, along with half the contents of his desk. The sound of shit clattering to the floor was soothing, but as soon as the catharsis abated, he felt even worse. Breathing hard, he looked at the mess he'd made. _Ha_ , what an apt metaphor for his fucking life. 

Slowly, he stooped down and began picking up the debris. Shuffling some papers around, his hand touched another book. Slim and old, with a cloth cover. Rey's book of poems. He frowned, as he picked it up. He'd thought about returning it to her, but he hadn't found the right time. 

And part of him wanted to cling to whatever traces of her he had left. Kylo flipped the front cover open, letting his fingers trail over the raised ink of the title page, down to the little embossed seal in the corner. He frowned. 

It was hard to make out--the ink had long since faded, but the raised letters were still there. _Ex Libris Ben Kenobi, VC, GK, GBE_. 

Kylo sat up so suddenly it was as if he'd been struck by lightening. He grabbed his phone from his coat pocked and dialed a number he hadn't thought he'd call for a good long while. 

She picked up on the first ring. "Ben?" Leia sounded hopeful...and scared. As if she couldn't quite believe he was calling her. Well, he was surprised too. 

"Mom, I need a favor. It's for Rey."


	15. In Which Ben Solo Makes an Appearance

_ Two Weeks Later _

Rey frowned as she looked at her bank balance. That absolutely couldn't be right. The bank had made some mistake. She should have gotten paid $600 or so for her last paycheck. But the balance on the screen said...

_ $20,600.00 _

Rey's head swam at the thought and her vision began to tunnel. Shaking her head, she clicked the activity tab to see where the money had come from.  _ University Finaid. _ She stared. Financial aid had deposited twenty thousand dollars into her account. Was this some sort of test? Some sort of cruel joke? Her breath came in hard pants as she logged off the library computer and shoved her stuff into her backpack. 

She needed to get to the financial office, and  _ fast _ , and find out what the hell was going on. 

Before she was tempted to withdraw some of that money. 

_ Twenty thousand dollars. Holy GOD _ . What would she do with money like that? Get an apartment, that was for sure. Get a cellphone. Buy food that was more than ramen noodles and canned tuna.  _ No _ . She had to stop these thoughts. 

There was no way that money was hers. She needed to get to finaid and figure out what the hell was going on.

Rey practically sprinted through campus, nearly knocking some poor acapella kids over in her panic to get to the admin building. Rey must have burst into the Finaid office looking like a lunatic--okay, okay, so she did kind of fling the door open like a bad soap opera heroine--because the front desk girl looked at her like she had two heads. 

Rey gave a shaky smile. "I need to speak with someone about my account."

The girl eyed her warily before taking down her information. "Have a seat. I'll let your advisor know you're here."

She sat on one of the uncomfortable boxy office chairs that seemed to be in every waiting room around campus, but couldn't sit still. She fiddled with her backpack, with the zip of her jacket. Finally with a huff she began tapping her feet. The receptionist girl shot her a dirty look and Rey froze. Ugh, she probably seemed impatient. 

_ Well...I kind of am _ . 

When the finaid advisor finally ushered her back into the cubicle, Rey was a ball of nervous energy. 

"What can I help you with today, Miss Jacqueau?"

Rey tucked some hair behind her ear. "Well, I was checking my bank account and I saw that the financial aid office had deposited quite a large amount of money into my account...and I...I think it's a mistake."

He raised his eyebrows. "Most students wouldn't try to fix something like that."

Rey shrugged. 

"It's good you did though. If you used money that wasn't yours you could get in a heap of trouble. Well, let me just see what the system says." He clicked around on his screen for a minute. "Ah, right. Looks like it's a private scholarship. Your tuition is paid through the Low Income High Achievers Grant, so the full amount was credited back to your account."

She raised her eyebrows. "But I didn't apply for any external scholarships."

It was his turn to shrug. "Maybe one of your professors sponsored you?"

Rey shook her head, "no I don't think--"  _ Wait one fucking minute. _ Blind rage flooded her vision for a split second before she managed to choke out a reply. "Actually, you know what? It completely slipped my mind. I did apply for something. Thanks!" 

She scooped up her backpack and was out the door before either the receptionist or the advisor could say anything. Rey made her way across campus, her anger growing with every step.  _ What the FUCK did he think he was doing? _ She was going to make him take it back, that asshole. She would  _ not _ be a charity case for her ex. 

Rey shoved the library door open and headed for the stairwell, ignoring the fact that half the reference room was staring at her. She sprinted down the hallway after bounding up the stairs. Grabbing his office door she flung it open. 

"What the  _ fuck, _ Kylo?"

He looked up from his computer, startled. "Close the door for Christ's sake."

Rey slammed it shut, flipping the lock. They were going to have. it.  _ out _ . And there would be no interruption. 

"Did you do it? A send off--thanks for the memories? Or so I would drop your class? How DARE YOU."  Rey picked up a book from the desk and threw it.

Kylo dodged the book easily, unfolding himself from behind the desk. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Rey, but if you could kindly  _ stop _ shouting our personal life for all and sundry to hear I'd appreciate it." He snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

As he yelled, she rounded his desk until they were face to face--well, face to chest. His words, meant to sooth her, had the opposite effect.

"Oh? You'd appreciate it, would you? Well I'd appreciate it if you didn't pay me off like a whore!" She jabbed his chest as her breath came in hard, heaving gulps. 

"What the fuck are you talking about woman?" Kylo all but roar, clutching her shoulders hard and squeezing. Rey thought he might shake her. 

Her blood was pounding through her veins making her her head throb and her vision dull. "You deposited $20,000 in my bank account in the guise of a 'scholarship'," she accused, hissing the words, so furious she could hardly speak.

"I did no such thing," he snapped. "And you've got a lot of nerve barging in here and accusing me of treating your like a prostitute. You're the one who snuck out in the middle of the night, Rey. You didn't even say goodbye!"

Shame boiled below her skin at his words, vying with anger. "I did it to protect you, you idiot!" 

"Protect me?  _ Protect me? _ Like my parents  _ protected _ me by not telling me my father was in jail for killing my abuser? Is that the kind of protection you mean?" He shook her shoulders, if face red with fury. 

His words hit her like a slap to the face.  _ No _ . She hadn't done that. 

Rey whimpered. "It's not like that!"

"No? Well what is it like? I told you I didn't care what happened, that I wanted you with me. But you decided you knew what was better for us without talking about it. You just  _ left _ ."

"Of course I did!" She shouted. "If I didn't, you would have left me, eventually. Like everyone else. I couldn't...I  _ couldn't _ bear it. Not from you. It would have killed me."

Rey hated the tears that fell from her eyes, the great ugly sob that wracked her body. But it was  _ true _ . He would have decided she wasn't good enough eventually. Not worth the price of his tenure, of his job. She was just...saving him the trouble. Kylo's face soften as her tears fell, all the anger that had painted his face draining out in an instant. Rey cried harder, not understanding what was wrong with her. With them. Why couldn't they just be happy?

"Shh, Sunshine. Don't cry," Kylo soothed, brushing tears from her face with one big hand.  

"I...I jusss miss you ssso much," she sobbed, all the emotions of the past month breaking over her until she felt like her body would fly apart from too much feeling. 

"Then come home, Rey. Just come home," he murmured, one hand rubbing her back as the other fruitlessly tried to wipe the tears from her face. 

Rey looked up, taking in the stark desolation in his expression. The heavy sadness in his eyes. Conflicting emotions washed over her: sadness and anger, but also loneliness and longing. She  _ missed _ him so damn much. It was like a piece of her soul had been ripped out. He must have seen it in her eyes because slowly, he lowered his face to hers. Rey's eyelashes fluttered closed, and she felt his nose run along the bridge of hers, his warm breath against her cheek. She sighed, surrendering to the feeling of having him near once again. 

When his lips touched hers, she didn't even think about it, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing their bodies into contact. She sifted her fingers through his hair as her breasts pressed against his hard, muscular chest. Kylo groan, his arms coming around her to hold her tight, pin her to him.  _ Yes, yes _ . This was what she had been missing. This was the reasons she'd felt restless, rootless. Pleasure flooded her body, suffusing her limbs with a warm happiness she hadn't felt since New Years Eve. 

Rey whimpered into his mouth as he deepened the kiss. His hands were everywhere, stroking her back, cupping her breasts. Suddenly he lifted her onto his desk.  _ Yes _ , she thought again, she need this, needed him. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulled him close. Heat bloomed deep in her belly, her body recognizing him and the amazing pleasure that he brought. Her hips began to roll, rubbing against him like a cat in heat. She could feel the outline of his cock, hard and ready, behind the zip of his trousers. 

His mouth broke from hers but only to paints kisses down her jaw, her throat, until he was pushing her shirt down and pulling her breasts from her bra. He groaned at the sight of her rosy nipples and plump flesh cupped so enticingly.

Kylo paused a moment, catching her gaze. She knew he was asking for permission. Rey felt drunk, heady, and light. Her body swimming in the pleasure of being touched by him again. She tilted her head back, stretched herself out before his gaze. Kylo nodded, and dove forward catching one tight, aching peak in his mouth.

She cried out, and tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him close to her. As his mouth sucked, his hands moved lower, attacking the button and zip on her jeans until he could claw them down her legs. 

"Need to be inside you, Rey," he rasped against her aching breast, his hot breath a delicious torture on the wet skin. 

She nodded, her hands scrambling at his trousers. She needed him inside of her too. Distantly, a small voice was telling her this was bad idea, but she couldn't be bother with it. Kylo was touching her again-- _ loving _ her. She needed to feel him moving inside of her, needed his big body curled around her, holding her and keeping her safe. 

With a curse, he pushed her hands out of the way, and freed his cock. Kylo stroked himself, his big hand pumping up and down the thick shaft. Rey whimpered, spreading her legs as wide as she could with her jeans tangled around her knees. And then he was inside her. There was no time for finesse or foreplay. There was just raw need. 

Rey squeezed her eyes shut as the feeling of him took over, as he moved inside of her, shoving hard so that each thrust sank him balls deep. His big cock stretched her to her limits, but she loved it. Love the tight burn, the hot pleasure flooding her body. She could already feel it coming, the heat at the base of her spine, the tingling in her limbs. 

"Kylo, Kylo, Kylo," she chanted as he grunted over her with each thrust. 

"Call me Ben. Rey, please." His voice was raw with desperation. 

"Ben," she sighed as he thrust deep, his pelvis grinding down hard on her clit. Her Ben. 

His mouth was at her throat, biting and sucking hard, before licking to sooth the sting of his teeth.  She kissed every inch of pale skin she could reach. God, she had even missed the salty, masculine taste of him. He took her mouth in a bruising kiss. Rey whimpered against him, against those soft, full lips. She was so close already, and the hard thrust of his hips brought her to the edge. 

"Ben...I'm--" she gasped as he pressed against her clit with a particularly savage thrust. 

He kissed her harder, swallowing her cries as she throbbed around him, drawing his thick cock in deeper. He slammed in and stilled, his breath harsh and ragged as she felt his hot seed spurt inside of her. Warmth surrounded her, mixing with the delicious heaviness of his body on top of hers. 

They stayed locked together for a long moment, their breath mingling and hearts hammering against each other in echo. Finally, Ben lifted himself off of her, though he didn't pull out. 

"Come home, Rey," he implored, stroking her no-doubt messy hair from her face. "Come home."

She met his gaze--still, dark eyes like a bottomless pool--and shook her head. She wanted to, God knows she did. But she couldn't,  _ wouldn't _ , put themselves in such a dangerous position. 

With that thought, she realized what they'd done. Hot shame flooded her, the glow of her orgasm disintegrating like dew in the harsh morning sun.  _ Fuck _ . There were other professors with offices on this floor. Students who walked through the hallway on their way to the stacks. Someone could have heard them. Pushing at his chest,  Rey jumped off the desk and tugged her pants up frantically. 

"I need to go. I _have_ to go. This was a mistake," she babbled, grabbing her backpack and running to the door. 

"Rey! Rey!" Ben called behind her, but she forced herself to ignore his pleas as she sprinted down the stairs. 

* * *

Ben frantically shoved his dick back in his pants as he watched the woman he loved run from him again. Bitterness flooded his mouth at the sight of her frantically sprinting down the hall. He wanted to go after her--desperation beat in his veins, commanding him to go--but he couldn't. How would it look if he was seen chasing his student across campus? That was the problem, wasn't it. As long as Rey was his student, they couldn't be together.

With a sigh, he collapsed into his chair, his revelation ringing hollowly in his head. Rey would never been with him as long as he was her professor. She'd tried to tell him, but he'd been too stubborn to listen. Too wrapped up in his own pain and the way she soothed him to notice her fear.  _ Fuck _ . He'd really fucked this up. 

Ben felt like crying. Like tearing his hair or smashing his computer. But he knew what he had to do--he'd been putting it off for far too long as it was. Hands shaking, he fished his cellphone out of his coat pocket and dialed his therapist. He'd talk to Douglas, and make a plan. There had to be a way out of this mess. 

* * *

 

Rey's heart-rate had returned to normal, though she couldn't stop the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes. When had her life gotten so fucked up? No, that wasn't right. It had always been fucked up; it had just never been this complicated. She had always had a clear idea of what she wanted how to get it: get out of Ukar's house, therefore, get good grades, get scholarship. Do well in school, never go back to Ukar again. 

Yet now,  _ now _ , the things she wanted were in conflict with each other. She wanted Ben--and he  _ was _ Ben now. She had seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice. He was done with being Kylo. She wanted Ben, but she also wanted her degree. And she wanted to get it without the suggestion of unfair play because she was sleeping with a professor. On top of all that, she wanted Ben to get his tenure and be happy. But it seemed like all those things were mutually exclusive. 

Rey shook her head and wiped her eyes, unable to see a way out of the mess she'd made without giving up something important. 

"You look glum, honey."

Rey's head jerked up at the familiar voice. Her eyes went wide. "Senator Organa! What are you doing here? I mean, hello, ma'am, are you looking for Ben?"

Leia stood about a foot away, watching her. She was dressed in a chic business suit that probably cost more than Rey's entire monthly paycheck. Her hair was coiffed to perfection. Rey suddenly felt grubby in her old jeans and shirt, with her broken jacket. 

Not to mention the fact that she'd literally just had this woman's son balls deep inside of her. Lord almighty this was awkward. 

Leia frowned a little at formality in Rey's voice. "No. I was hoping I could take you out for lunch. We need to talk."


	16. In Which the Mystery is Solved, but Another Pops Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yall! Happy Friday! My apologies for not posting last week--I had a crazy busy time: an 18 page paper due, my dissertation prospectus defense, the beginning of the school year. Buuut now most of that's out of the way, and I'm ABD (all but dissertation)! Woohoo! I hope you like this next chapter--we're getting close to the finish! Just one more plus epilogue.

Rey followed Leia to her car, and dutifully slid in the backseat next to the senator. 

"Do you like Italian, Rey? I know this little place near campus that's absolutely to die for."

Rey nodded, totally at a loss as to why Leia was being so nice to her. Did she not know that Rey had dumped her son spectacularly? Well, maybe not. Rey wasn't sure if Ben had spoken to his parents since Christmas. She eyed the other woman cautiously. Should she tell her? 

She should tell her. Rey didn't want Leia to waste her time if she was hoping to bond with her son's girlfriend. 

"Senator Organa," Rey began, not sure where to go after getting the older woman's attention. "this is really nice, but, um...Ben and I broke up about a month ago." 

Much to her surprise, Leia leaned over and squeezed her hand. "I know, honey."

“Oh.”

Rey frowned, but was unsure what else to do. Instead, they sat in silence as the driver took them to the restaurant. When they got there, it was fairly empty--too late for the lunch rush and too early for the dinner crowd--but there were a few other people in the dining room. Somehow, that made Rey feel a bit better. It wasn't like Leia had cleared out the place to have a chat or anything. 

That would have been way too ominous to handle. 

The hostess recognized Leia the moment they walked in and the two of them were quickly seated with menus and glasses of ice water. Rey took a healthy gulp from her glass, hoping to forestall whatever undoubtedly awkward thing Leia wanted to speak to her about. She'd said she knew Rey and Ben broke up...was she here to try to talk Rey into going back? To chastise her for breaking Ben's heart? She wasn't sure she could handle that, either.

Leia made small talk while they perused the menus before giving their orders to the waitress. Rey could hardly concentrate long enough to answer--what classes was she taking, did she like them? How was work? Where was she living? It was very much like the first time Rey had had dinner with Leia, except Ben wasn’t across the table to give her encouraging smiles. Finally, when their food arrived--spaghetti bolognese for Rey (it was the cheapest thing on the menu) and Ossobuco for Leia--the chatter finally stopped. 

Rey dug into her meal, excited that she would probably have left-overs since the portions were so big, plus there had been side salad  _ and _ garlic bread. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Leia reached down and pulled something from her purse. Rey looked up, curious, as the other woman slide a manila envelope across the table. 

"What's this?" Rey asked, her fork hovering midway between her plate the her mouth. 

Leia shook her head. "Just read it honey."

A surge of trepidation hit Rey hard as she unsealed the envelop. What the hell could it be? Was Leia--god, or Ben!--suing her for rent? No, she didn't think they were the type who would do that. Still, nothing about this seemed good. Rey shuffled through the stack of papers, pulling the first from a hefty linen envelope with fancy looking letterhead.  _ Estate of Sir Benjamin Kenobi, VC, GK, GBE.  _

She glanced up at Leia, who was watching her. Rey raised her eyebrows, and turned her attention back to the first document. There was a lot of legal mumbo-jumbo, but a paragraph about halfway down the page caught her eye. 

_ The entirety of my earthly assets--liquid assets, stocks, bonds, lands, investments, and possession including family heirlooms, jewelry, fine china, crystal, silverware and service, antiques, art objects and collectibles, furniture, and household goods--are hereby left to my grandniece, Miss Reyna Kira Kenobi, daughter of my nephew, Liam Arthur Kenobi and his wife, Alice Gwendolyn Kenobi, née Bedford.  _

There was more legal jargon following. Rey shuffled the papers, to find a birth certificate, for Reyna Kenobi, deeds to a number of properties all over the world, a list of investments and socks, and photographs of what she supposed were the family heirlooms and antiques.

"I don't understand." Rey said, her stomach roiling. Why would Leia show her these things?

Leia just motioned for Rey to continue looking through the stack of papers. 

Frowning, Rey bent her head back to the documents in her hands. Behind the financial stuff, there were photocopies of newspaper clippings.  _ Sir Ben Kenobi maintains "grandniece still alive". Sir Ben Kenobi still searching for lost heiress. _ An earlier headline:  _ Tragedy strikes the Commonwealth's favorite knight: Sir Ben Kenobi family missing.  _

Behind the newspaper clippings were more photographs--these weren't cataloging belongs though, they were personal. A bride and groom at the altar inside a beautiful church. The bride and groom with an older, bearded man. Rey frowned, why did she feel like she'd seen the older man before? The younger couple with a baby at a christening, in the same church, perhaps. The older man holding the baby, grinning from ear to ear. Rey flipped over the second to last picture, her stomach dropping. The woman and a little girl next to a coffin, the older man holding the little girl's hand, their backs to the camera. 

Something sharp tickled at the back of her mind--something painful. Rey suppress the urge to rub the back of her neck. 

She flipped over the last picture, and nearly dropped the entire stack. It was  _ her _ . When she was six or so. Standing with...with her mother?

"I'm Reyna Kenobi?" She whispered, feeling like she was going to throw up the few bites of spaghetti she'd managed to eat. 

Leia reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "I had my suspicions when I first met you--you like like your mother. Same chestnut hair, same smile. Then Ben found your great-uncle's name in the book you gave him for Christmas. He asked me to look into it."

Rey blinked, trying to process what Leia was telling her. She had a family! She had a mother and a father, and an uncle who had looked for her. Tears sprang to her eyes and she struggled to not let them fall as excitement rushed through her. 

_ I belong _ . 

"Can I meet my uncle? Where's my mother?"

Leia's smile fell. "I'm sorry Rey. Your mother died when you went missing. No one really knows what happened--she was taking you on a trip to Disney World. We can't figure out how you ended up in New Orleans. And your uncle died a few years ago of heart failure. But he never stopped looking for you."

The other woman's words left Rey reeling--unsure how to deal with the loss of a family she didn't know. Of the death of her hopes. She didn't remember what had happened to her mother. She had hoped--secretly, hardly daring to allow herself to think it--that if she ever knew who she was, she'd remember. That it would all come pouring back to her. 

But there were no memories. The people in the pictures looked familiar, but Rey thought that perhaps she was only recognizing herself in them. She shook her head, desperate to change the subject, and to not let Leia see her devastation. She cast her gaze around for something else to say-- _ anything _ \--and she saw some of the financial papers. 

"Did you put that money in my account?"

Leia nodded. "It's your money though. Quarterly interest from one of the trusts your uncle left for you. There's much more--Rey you'll never have to worry about money again. He left you his entire estate."

Rey stared at the stack of papers in her hand, feeling completely at a loss. She'd rather have a family than a stack of money. Which made her wonder...

"How do they know it's me though? I mean, I recognize myself in the pictures...but how do they know?"

Leia smiled. "I'm the executor of the estate, so that helps--your great uncle, he was a family friend. He actually saved my life when I was younger--Cold War Europe wasn’t always the safest place for the jobs that I was doing. Anyway, eventually you'll need to do a blood test to verify you're related to Sir Ben, but for now, I, at least, am satisfied that you really are Rey Kenobi."

She frowned. She didn't feel like Rey Kenobi. She still felt like Rey Jacqueau, little nobody from the streets of New Orleans. But she had parents--even if they were gone. She had an uncle who had cared about her. She supposed that was something. 

"Thank you, Leia. This is...this is a lot to process honestly. But thank you."

Leia squeezed her hand. "I know honey. Don't worry. We can fill out the paperwork later. I just wanted you to have access to your inheritance. Ben mentioned you'd moved out."

Rey glanced up at the older woman's not so subtle request for information. She looked concerned, and Rey supposed it wouldn't hurt to explain what happened, at least a little bit. Leia had to be worried--especially if she hadn’t spoken to her son since Christmas.

"One of his colleague found out about us. I don't want him to lose his job or tenure because of me." She said, giving the other woman the short version of the story. 

Leia turned her attention back to her lunch. "I don't think Ben's the type of man who would let some jealous asshole get in the way of what he wants. I'm not going to lie, I thought you two were good for each other. But if it doesn't work out, well, I'm still here for you. Han and Maz too. They were completely charmed."

Rey blushed, secretly pleased she'd won over Ben's family. She had liked the Skywalker-Solo-Organa clan, even if they were a bit dysfunctional. After all, who wasn't?

* * *

After her lunch with Leia, Rey had a lot to thinking about. She had a family! Well, she had  _ had _ a family. She was still an orphan, but at least she knew people had loved her once. She wished she could go back to Ben’s house and look at that photo album again--she realized now that Sir Ben looked familiar because she had seen his picture along with Anakin and Padme.

But she knew that wasn’t possible. Not at the moment, at least. So instead, she threw herself into trying to organize her life.

Fiirst things, first: find a place to live.

After touring three or four places near campus (ultimately, too loud and run down with questionable property managers that gave her way too man Unkar Plutt vibes), she finally found the perfect place--a cute little Cape Cod bungalow in a quiet neighborhood a few miles away from the university. Over the weekend, Rey set about scourging second-hand and consignment shops for furniture and moving out of Baz's apartment, though not without promising weekly coffee dates. That was Friday and Saturday. On Sunday, she bought herself a used car that was in good condition and took herself straight to the grocery story. Walking along the shelves and aisles, knowing she didn't have to budget every last penny was a revelation unto itself. As was buying things that weren't the generic store brand. When she finally got home, she spent over an hour organizing her pantry. The very best part was, after she was done unloading and moving and rearranging, she could soak in the giant bathtub. 

Rey adored water--loved swimming pools and lakes, hell, even long showers were a luxury. But this tub was unbelievable. Deep enough that she could submerge herself up to her chin, big enough that she could stretch out (she could probably fit another person in there with her. Not that would happen any time soon). The lip of the tub was wide enough she could burn candles or even eat dinner without knocking shit over. It was here in this tub that she gave her situation with Ben a good think. 

Fact One: She wanted to be with him. And she was fairly certain he wanted to be with her too, as long as she hadn't totally fucked things up with that fight and sex in his office ( _ probably not your best decision, Rey _ , she mentally chided herself.)

Fact Two: Armitage Hux was a wanker who knew she and Ben had been together. 

Fact Three: She had no idea what Hux would do with this information, but it had the potential to ruin Ben's career. 

Fact Four: Ben didn't really seem to care what Hux did. 

Conclusion: ???

Rey splashed her hand through the water in frustration, still unable to see a way out of her predicament. She supposed she could drop his class now--though the add/drop date was past--and be okay financing another year of school, though that didn't exactly make  _ his _ problems go away. Hux still had the ammunition to ruin his career. 

Ben's words from their pre-coital fight in his office popped into her head suddenly: _I told you I didn't care what happened, that I wanted you with me. But you decided you knew what was better for us without talking about it. You just_ _left._

She winced. At the time she hadn't wanted to hear it, but he was right. She  _ had _ just left. Tucked tail and run. But it couldn't just be as easy as talking to him, could it?

_ But you decided you knew what was better for us without talking about it. _

Rey didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. Occam's Razor: the simplest solution was often the correct one. In this case, the solution was to talk to him. Work it out between the two of them. Fuck, how had she been so stupid? How had she made things so over-complicated? She knew, really,--fear and stubbornness. But now it was time to be an adult. To be the woman Ben needed her to be. 

Rey splashed the water again, this time with a smile on her face.

* * *

 

By the time Monday rolled around, Rey was practically bursting with excitement. She was going to see Ben, and after class, she was going to talk to him. Figure this out. She practically skipped into class, waiting breathlessly for Ben to stride in. She'd ask him right before the lecture began to speak with him after--she  _ knew _ he'd make time for her. She was certain of it.

Impatiently, Rey unpacked her book and notebook, all the while glancing at the clock every few seconds. Finally, once she was pretty sure all the students were there, the door pushed open. Her adrenaline spiked as she half stood, ready to pounce on him.  

And Dr. Phasma walked in. 

"Good afternoon, students,” the striking blond woman began, scanning the classroom. “Professor Ren is no longer teaching this course. I will be handling his workload for the semester. Now, I believe you were on chapter twenty…”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know pretty much nothing about trust funds, estate planning, and finances. I tried to look it up, so hopefully everything makes sense, but is something seems wrong...it probably is. Sorry!


	17. In Which History Repeats Itself

Rey sat through Professor Phasma's lecture in complete shock. Ben wasn't here. And he wouldn't be back all semester.  As soon as the shock began to ebb, panic filled its place. Had he been fired? Was he sick? The questions kept whirling around in her head like a tornado, making it impossible to concentrate on what what going on around her. Once Prof. Phasma finally dismissed the class, Rey hesitantly made her way to the front of the room. 

"Um, excuse me Dr. Phasma, do you know when Professor Ren is coming back?"

Phasma turned her cool gaze to the shorter woman, scanning her from head to foot and, apparently, finding nothing worthy. "I do not."

Rey frowned, her courage fleeing at the other woman's icy reply. Still, she needed to find out what happened to Ben. 

Taking a deep breath, she asked again,"well, do you at least know if he's okay? He does have, like, cancer or anything?"

Phasma arched one icy eyebrow. "I don't know the circumstances of his absence. I was simply asked to fill in."

"Oh, okay. Thank you anyway," Rey mumbled, before scurrying out of the room. Maybe Phasma didn't know where Ben was--though Rey had a hard time imagining she wouldn't have at least heard some departmental gossip--either way, she wasn't going to get any information out of the intimidating woman. There had to be another way to find out what happened. 

Rey rounded the corner, passing where the hallway opened into a small seating area. Huddled at the far end near the wall of windows, was a group of girls, heads together in clandestine conversation. Looking closer, Rey realized that they were the same girls who stared dreamily at Ben and batted their eyelashes at him any chance they got. She paused, if anyone had campus gossip, it would be them. Casually she settled into one of the plush armchairs a few seating clusters away from the group. Rey popped in her ear phones and connected them to her laptop (bought on Saturday), but didn't turn any music on. She stared intently at her screen, pretending to work really hard on something rather than eavesdropping. 

"I heard he was  _ fired! _ " Anne whispered, the last word emphasized with a scandalized gasp. 

"Fired? No way--he's, like, so smart and has like ten books." Another chimed in. "I wonder if he got caught sleeping with a student! Oh, he's so fucking hot. I bet that's it!"

"Unf. Professor Ren could bend me over his desk any way. Spank me! I forgot my homework!" Felicity exclaimed. 

"Shut up, you're such a dork!"

"Well, I heard that he didn't get offered tenure." Anne sniffed, steering the focus of the group back to her. 

"Professor Hux did," someone supplied helpfully. 

"Really, I can't image why they'd give it to him and not Kylo." Tiffany--a dark haired girl who was always with Anne--piped up. The way she drew out the vowels of Ben's name like she had a right to call him that made Rey cringe. 

"Ugh, he's the worst."

"So rude. Almost as bad as people who eavesdrop!" Anne cackled, announcing the last bit louder than the rest. The girls erupted in peals of laughter. 

Rey struggled to keep the blush from her cheeks, though she could feel the back of her neck and her ears heating up from the effort. She wasn't going to cause a scene--she absolutely wouldn't give them the benefit of catching her listening in to them. Instead, she very calmly pulled one of her Engineering textbooks from her backpack and began reading the chapter assigned for next week. 

Or at least, she tried to. It was pretty hard to concentrate when her mind was reeling--Ben had been fired? Had been caught with a student ( _ her _ ? or worse, not her?!)? Didn't get tenure? Was anything the other girls said true? But if it wasn't where the hell was he?

Eventually the other girls got tired of gossiping over their "sexilicious" professor and drifted off to other classes or elsewhere around campus. Rey was done for the day--hell, even if she hadn't been, she would never have been able to pay attention to anything. By the time she got home, she was absolutely exhausted from her mind running in five million different directions, from going over everything she knew about Ben, about tenure procedure, about what the other girls had said. 

Surely she was missing something. 

Flopping down on her sofa, she flicked on the TV. She needed to veg out before deciding what to do. It was just so frustrating! She had finally figured out how to maybe fix what was wrong with her and Ben, and then, he wasn't anywhere to be found. The hope that had been carrying her through the day was gone, and she was dangerously close to slipping back into a funk. 

Rey stretched out and pulled a soft throw blanket over herself. As she flipped through her options on netflix, she wondered if she ought to have stopped by the English Department. She remembered the administrative assistant was usually pretty chatty--maybe the woman could be persuade to tell Rey what happened. 

Choosing an older rom-com she'd seen a million times before, Rey settled back, her eyelids growing heavier by the second. 

* * *

Ben sat quietly in his home office, a glass of scotch next to his elbow and spotify playing music loud enough that he wasn't aware just how empty his house was, he reflected on all that had happened since Rey ran from his office the week before. His therapy session had been about as uncomfortable as he remembered them being, but ultimately helpful. Douglas was able to help him put things in perspective and come up with a game plan for fixing the fucking mess that was his life.

Step One: call Amilyn Holdo, chair of the Department of English at Yale. 

That had yielded quite the conversation with his current boss.

_ Ben had been uncharacteristically nervous after reading his boss's email, requesting a meeting as soon as possible. Ben wasn't sure if it was to tell him that the tenure committee had finally made a decision about whether or not they'd extend his contract with a promotion to associate professor, or, even more nerve wracking, if news of his and Rey's relationship--and their not so quiet reunion on his desk--had reached the powers that be.  _

_ Still, he'd made his way over to the main English building, pretending for all the world that he was relaxed and unworried. When he reached the Department Chair's office, the secretary waved him right through. His boss smiled and motioned for him to have a seat, and Ben did, dropping into one of the plush leather armchairs in front of the desk.  _

_ "What can I do for you?" He asked.  _

_ His boss smiled. "Ren, you'll get the proper documents in your mailbox, but I wanted to tell you in person that the Tenure Committee has decided to extend your contract as a tenured, associate professor of the department. Your publication record is impressive, and the grants you've obtained are prestigious. Students like you--your course evals are always top notch. We couldn't have asked for a better member of our department. Congratulations, son. Your new contract comes with full benefits, sabbatical every six semesters, and of course, parking in the department lot." _

_ The older man extended his hand across the desk, clearly assumed that the offer was a done deal. Pushing aside his irritation at being called ‘son’, Ben stared at the hand and took a deep breath.  _

_ "Actually, sir, I'm sorry but I'll have to decline the offer. I've been offered a tenured position at Yale, and the salary and benefits are too good to turn down." _

_ The other man blinked at him, clearly not comprehending what Ben just said. Finally, he managed to ask, "what are they paying you? We'll match it." _

_ Ben shook his head. "It's about double what you're offering." _

_ His boss's face went red at the suggestion. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ben cut him off.  _

_ "Yale is better for me, personally as well as professionally. I appreciate the opportunity, and my time here was well spent. But I can't stay." _

_ "Well what am I supposed to do now? We've already decline Hux." _

_ Ben shrugged. "That's too bad to hear, but it's not my problem." _

_ As he left the office, he felt someone's hate-filled gaze on the back of his neck. Turning slowly, Ben locked eyes with Armitage Hux. The ginger grimaced as Ben saluted him and sauntered away.  _

Ben stood up from his desk, stretching his hands above his head and bending to the side. God it was warm in the house tonight--he'd better go change the thermostat.

* * *

 

_ Save him! _

Rey woke with a gasp, her heart pounding and the inside of her mouth fuzzy. She looked around, eyes wide, expecting to see walls of flames and heavy smoke, but instead, she saw her living room. Ugh, she'd fallen asleep on the sofa and had another of those horrible dreams where she was searching for Ben. 

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, trying to stamp out the sleep that lingered there. The dreams had started when she'd moved into Ben's house, and sadly, once she'd moved out they hadn't stopped. Tonight's was particularly intense; she swore she could still smell lingering wisps of smoke. Standing, she stretched her neck and shoulders, trying to work out the kinks from sleeping on the couch. 

Wandering into the kitchen, she got herself a glass of water. The dream had been so vivid this time--the details of Ben's house so real, it was like she had been back there once again. 

Rey frowned. Maybe she should go to his house? That wasn't too weird was it? Well, if she went, and he wasn't there, he would never know. And if he was there, well...at least she’d get to see him again.

Her mind made up, Rey grabbed her purse and left the house. She hopped into her car and headed towards Ben's house--glad she had paid attention to where he lived even though she'd only driven there once before. 

_ Save him! _

The words echoed in her mind--remnants from the dream. Rey fiddled with the radio, turning the volume up to silence her disquieting thoughts. She was being silly; Ben was fine. Still, she couldn’t stop the prickle at the back of her neck telling her that maybe, just maybe, everything wasn’t fine.

The drive took about fifteen minutes and Rey found herself continually flooring the gas despite attempts to actually go the speed limit. She couldn't shake the ominous feeling from her dream, no matter how loud she turned the radio up or how much she tried to rehearse what she was going to say to him when she got there. Finally, Rey turned down his street, relief flooding her at the familiar houses. 

_ The street looks different, _ Rey mused to herself.  _ I wonder if they changed out the street lights. HOLY SHIT! _

Her relief shriveled as she caught sight of Ben's house. She had been wrong--there weren't any new street lights, and Ben wasn't okay.

His house was on fire!

The stately old house was lit from within with a hideous orange flame--it flickered and danced from room to room on the upper floors. Dark smoke billowed out of a shattered window. 

Rey swore again and threw her car into park. Fumbling with her phone she quickly dialed 911. 

"Come on, come on, come on," she chanted as she waited for the operator to pick up. Finally she heard the click and the cool tones of the woman on the other end. "Please! My boyfriend's house is on fire!"

She rattled off the address before dropping her phone and bolting out the door. 

Rey made it halfway across the lawn before she was yanked back into an iron like grip. She let out a startled yelp and began thrashing--trying to break the hold of whoever had her. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The crisp British tones were unmistakable--Professor Hux was holding her back. 

Rey struggled to break free of his grip, but he held her tight around the waist and shoulders. 

"Ben's in there!" She cried, not caring why the other man was here, only that he was stopping her from saving Ben.

"Leave him," Hux growled. "You'll die in there."

Rey didn't fucking care. Instead, she slammed down on his foot. He howled in pain and doubled over, and Rey took the opportunity to whip her head back, cracking into his skull with a satisfying crunch. Hux let her go, swearing and screaming in pain. 

"You fucking bitch!"

Rey took off for the house, leaving the ginger writhing on the ground behind her. She pushed through the front door, and was immediately confronted with a wall of thick smoke. She dropped to the floor, and covered her face with her jacket. Where would Ben be? Maybe his bedroom, or office? Certainly not on the ground floor--it was too late for dinner, and he didn't spend much time downstairs to begin with. 

Rey slowly made her way through the eerily lit house. The ground floor didn't seem to be burning, but it was ungodly hot and smothered in an orange glow. She crept towards the stairs, toeing each tread carefully before putting her weight on the wood. As she reached the mid-flight landing, the ceiling above her gave an ominous creak before a shudder rocked the entire building. A beam the size of a small car crashed from above, landing straight through the left-hand side staircase and missing her by mere inches.

Rey gasped and leapt back, her lungs filling with smoke. Wracking coughs shook her small frame as she desperately gasped for air. A sharp, stabbing pain shot through her chest. As she tried to pull herself up the second half of the staircase, she realized the edges of her vision were going black. 

_ Oh God, oh God. I'm going to die in here _ . 

She crawled forward, finally making it to the first floor landing, still gasping and trying to catch her breath. The heat up here was nearly unbearable, the smoke thicker. Plaster had fallen from the ceiling in places, and she could see the flames devouring the upper floors licking their way through the gaps. Rey coughed hard, her vision going black with each rattle. 

"Ben!" She called, her voice weak over the roar of the flames. 

No reply echoed back at her. 

She wanted to cry, to lay down on this too hot floor and sob until she was empty. She couldn't save him. Was this how Padme died? Desperately trying to save the man she loved and failing? Collapsing only a few feet from where he was, but unable to get to him? 

_ The house claims another pair of doomed lovers _ . Rey though with a giddiness verging on hysteria. 

_ Save him! _

"Help me," she whispered as her limbs giving out beneath her. 

Rey's eyes grew heavy as each breath was a sharp pain ripping through her chest. The darkness lurking at the edge of her vision swept forward and the last conscious thought Rey mustered was the feeling of Ben's hand in hers. 

...

...

...

Coolness surrounded her, covering her burning skin in a relieving balm. A gentle caress through her hair. Her head pillowed against something warm. Peace suffused her every limb, making her fingers and toes tingle. Rey tried to open her eyes, blinking again and again until she could makes sense of what she was seeing. 

The first realization that made its way through her fog soaked mind was that Ben was truly holding her hand. He must have heard her calling for him, and dragged himself towards her. Though he had collapsed just feet away from him, his arm outstretched. 

The second thing she noticed was the two figures kneeling besides her and Ben. A man and a woman, young and beautiful and lit with an inner, golden light. 

"Padme?" She asked, already knowing the answer. 

The woman from her dreams--the woman from the photo album and the ghost she'd seen throughout the house--nodded. Rey looked at the other figure, whose gaze flicked between longingly studying his wife's face and care filled assessment of his grandson. 

"Anakin."

He nodded without looking at her. 

"Are we dead?" She asked, dreading but needing the answer. 

Padme shook her head. "Not yet. Ani and I will help you."

Rey nodded, tears springing to her eyes at Padme's response. 

She didn't understand what happened next. One second, she was looking at Ben's grandmother, and the next, the woman seemed to melt  _ into _ Rey. The peace and coolness she felt at Padme's presence filled her, radiated through every pore of her body. She was hit with a flood of memories--of growing up in Europe as it was ripped apart by war, of struggling to find a home after the total destruction of her country. Coming to America. Meeting Anakin. Faster and faster the memories flew through Rey's mind. Falling in love. The joy of having Luke and Leia. The fight, that awful fateful fight. Burning as she tried to reach her husband. 

Tears ran down Rey's face as the images became more tragic with each passing. Padme had been stuck in the dilapidated house, always sensing Anakin's presence but never finding him. Always searching. Years of darkness. 

Then Ben arrived. She'd known immediately that this moody, pain-filled boy was hers. Her grandson. Instead of looking for Anakin, she watched Ben. Watched, protected, guided. And she began to see glimpses of her husband. 

But it wasn't until that dark, December night when Ben brought a slip of a girl home that things changed. Padme grew stronger, and for the first time in nearly fifty years, she found Anakin. 

But the foreboding never abated. 

Rey gasped, ripping herself out of the deluge of memories to find Ben kneeling beside her, struggling to breath. She crawled toward him, pulling his arm around her shoulder. 

"We have to get out of here!"

He nodded, his blood and ash covered face twisted in pain. Slowly, they made their way through the house, the flames and smoke seemingly unable to touch them, the weight of their bodies having no effect on the fire-rotted floors. Finally,  _ finally _ , they burst through the front door collapsing on the grass. The peace and coolness that engulfed her seemed to slowly dissipate, until only the faintest traces of their saviors were left. 

She could hear fire engine sirens screaming in the distance. 

Ben twisted himself towards her, shielding her from the burning building behind them and burying his face in her hair. 

"You stupid, perfect girl! Don't  _ ever _ do something like that again!" He snarled, his voice horse from smoke and heat. “Don’t you know I couldn’t live without you!”

Rey didn't know whether to laugh or cry--they were _ alive-- _ so she did both. "I love you, Ben. I couldn't live without you either."

As the fire truck stretchered to a halt in front of the house, and EMTs rushed forward to help them, Ben curled his fingers in her hair. 

"I love you too, Sunshine. I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the finale of this story! The epilogue will follow next week :D


	18. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long this took. I don't know, my depression has been terrible. I hope you can forgive me.

_Three Weeks Later_

Rey let the silk robe she wore pool around her feet. Excitement rushing in her stomach, she peaked over her shoulder at the man in her tub. Ben sat, eyes hungry and dark hair slicked back from his face, as he watched her make her way across the room. Neither of them spoke as she lowered herself into the tub, gripping his broad shoulders for support. Only the smallest gasp escaped her lips as his big hands smoothed down her waist, guiding her to straddle his lap. She smiled, letting her thumb trace the fresh scar cutting across his face, gained from a hot wire falling on him during the fire. He flinched slightly at the touch--embarrassed about the harsh red line marring his face, she feared.  

She brushed a kiss across the jagged line. "It makes you look even more handsome. And a little bit dangerous. Trust me." 

His lips twisted in a sardonic grin. "I feel like the beast to your beauty."

"I always liked the beast better than the prince, anyway."

Candle light flickered around the room, casting shadows around the sharp curves of his face. Lord he was handsome. Rey placed a gentle kiss against Ben's lips. His eyes slid closed as a deep groan broke from this throat; she could feel the accompanying rumble deep in his chest. She sigh against his mouth, locking her arms around his neck as a feeling of rightness settled deep in her heart.

She felt feverish and desperate to to touch him--to absorb every detail about him. She could hardly believe that he was here, with her, and that they were both alive. The EMTs and doctors couldn't figure out how either of them had survived the inferno engulfing Ben's house--by all accounts they both should have suffocated from smoke inhalation. Neither had spoken of Padme and Anakin saving them except to each other: softly whispered in the cocooning safety of her bed after hours of languid love making. 

Ben's fingers trailed up and down her spine, leaving goosebumps in his wake. She shivered, and pushed closer to him as the warm water lapped at her breasts. Cupping her face between his big hands, Ben broke the kiss. He stared at her intently, his dark eyes taking in every inch of her face, it seemed. 

"God, I missed you," he finally spoke. "Don't ever leave me like that again."

They hadn't talked about what happened _before_  the fire. Not yet. Ben had simply come home with her after they were released from the hospital. But she knew they had to. 

She shook her head, the wet tips of her hair clinging to his hands. "Never. I'm so sorry. I was afraid and I wasn't thinking."

"Its alright, Sunshine," he murmured, running the tip of his nose down the bridge of hers. "I was putting too much pressure on you, and not listening to your fears. I'm sorry too." 

They stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped in each others arms and noses touching. "We're a team," Rey finally ventured. "I know that now. I've never had anyone looking out for me before. I'm not used to making decisions with another person, but I think I understand."

Ben nodded. "I'll help you. And you can help me. We'll face life together."

A wide grin broke across her face at the thought. _Yes, Rey and Ben against the world._  

"Have you heard any news about Hux?" She asked. 

Ben snorted. "Honey, we're in your bathtub together and you're practically sitting on my dick. Now is not the time to talk about that fuck weasel."

Rey giggled at the exasperated expression on his face. "Sorry. I was just thinking about what you said: us facing life together. And I thought about what happened..."

After the they had been taken to the hospital and given a once over by the doctors, the police had come in to take their statements. It was then that Rey remembered professor Hux. Ben had been confounded as to why his colleague was there-Hux lived nowhere near Ben, after all--and the man had been brought in for questioning. It turned out Hux had set the fire in a jealous rage that Ben had gotten tenure over him. Hux hadn't even known Ben had turned down the offer; he simply saw the position as his right, and couldn't stand that another was offered it. 

Rey secretly thought he was lucky that neither she nor Ben had died in the fire. If they had, Hux would be facing life without parole. As it looked now, however, he wasn't going to be free for a very, very long time. 

Suddenly Ben pressed a kissed to the corner of her mouth. "Stop thinking about it."

Rey grinned, and nipped at his bottom lip. "I thought you didn't believe in telling students what to think, Professor Solo."

"Mmm, I'll just have to persuade you to my point of view." He murmured, running his hands up the curve of her torso to cup her breasts. 

She arched her back, and he took advantage of her position to capture one rosy nipple between his teeth. A hot pulse of pleasured echoed between her legs. Rey sighed, shivering in his arms as his mouth worked at her tight bud. 

"Ben" his name was ripped from her throat in an airy moan as his teeth sank into her too hot flesh. 

"I missed your breasts," he murmured, kissing a ring around her nipple. "I missed your shoulders," he traced her shoulder with his tongue, before pressing open mouthed kisses to her throat. "And your neck."

One big hand gripped her jaw, thumb pressed against the corner of her mouth, tilting her head down to meet his. The kiss was blinding, scalding. Rey pressed against him, desperate to feel every inch of his broad, strong body slick beneath her own. 

Rey dug her nails into his shoulders, lifting herself just enough that she felt the broad head of his cock pressing at her entrance. Ben groaned as she sank down on him, taking in every inch of his thick length into her body. Though they'd done this many times since the fire, every time felt like the first. Desperate, needy. Like she couldn't breath until he was inside her. When she had finally sunk all the way down, Rey began to rock her hips, frissons of pleasure alighting through her body with each answering thrust of Ben. 

Fingers tangled in her hair, Ben tugged her down for a kiss, devouring her. Water sloshed over the side of the tub, but she could find it in her to care. They moved at a frantic pace, her fingers digging into his shoulders. 

 They thrust together, the slick water tickling her body as they found their pleasure in each other. She could feel her orgasm building, hot and urgent at the base of her spine. He pulled her close to him, pushing up impossibly deep. Rey gasped as she was filled completely, pleasure turning her body liquid as her release rocked towards her. 

She shivered as her walls pulsed around him, drawing him up, milking his cock. With a shout, Ben followed her, gripping her so tight to him she thought, perhaps, there was no barrier between them. 

* * *

_Two Years Later_

"Rey Jaqueau!"

Rey stood and made her way up the stage, not able to keep the huge smile from her face. She'd done it! Four years of hard work, and here she was, done with college. The walk across the stage was a blur, though she could hear cheers from the crowd. Her family. A rag-tag group of friends: Finn, his boyfriend Poe; Baz, Rose and her sister Paige, Jessica. And of course Ben and his family: Leia, Han, Luke, Chewie and Maz. 

She shook hands with the chancellor, pausing for a picture. The rest of the ceremony was a blur, and after round after round of pictures, she found herself tucked into Ben's merc, following Leia and Han to the restaurant they'd booked for lunch. 

As they drove down the familiar city streets, Ben reached over and squeezed her knee. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. Top five in your class--that's amazing."

Rey grinned and laced her fingers with his. "I couldn't have done it without you." 

Though he didn't take his eyes off the road, she saw the corner of his lips lift in a smile. She couldn't believe how lucky they were--Ben's job at Yale was only a forty minute train ride away, and it meant that they could be together without any pesky ethical issues. Sure some people muttered about the age difference, but she didn't give a fuck. 

Ben Solo was the light of her life. 

"Have you heard from your editor?" She asked. 

"Yeah. He said the last draft was great. Only a few minor line edits and it'll be set to print." 

After their experience with Padme and Anakin's ghosts--and the memories they'd imprinted--Ben had decided to write a book about his grandparents. The book rights had been snapped up immediately, and depending on the sales, there was talk of a movie deal. The next few months would be insanely busy; Ben had a huge book tour lined up. Rey was going to go with him--travel and see the country--for the first half of the the tour, then she was going to set about applying for jobs. 

They pulled into the restaurant--the sushi place Leia had taken them to on their first meeting--and got out of the car. A  quick glance around the parking lot let her know that her friends and Ben's family had already arrived. She wasn't surprised, it had taken a while to find each other in the crush of people milling around the gymnasium. 

"Hey, come here for a sec," Ben said, motioning towards the serene garden and pond off to the side and around the back of the building. 

Rey trotted over. "What's up?"

Ben wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her tight into his chest. "I just wanted a moment alone with you before we go into the party."

Rey grinned, and nuzzled into him, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her. 

"I love you, Rey, and I'm so proud of you. I know I've been saying it a lot lately, but you just make me so happy, Sunshine." As he spoke he began playing with her fingers, the gentle pressure of his skin on hers comforting. 

She turned her head to kiss his shoulder, eyes closed, taking in his scent. This was home right here, being wrapped safe in Ben's arms. 

A pair of loons swam about on the pond, calling to each other. Ben continued playing with her hands. Suddenly she felt something cool slip down her finger. Rey looked, eyes widening as she saw a sparkling ring on her finger: a yellow stone surrounded by a sunburst of white. 

"Oh my god," she breathed as something light and beautiful welled up inside of her. 

"Sunshine, will you marry me?"

Without a word, Rey turned in his arms so that she could look in to his dark, soft eyes. She gave him a small smile while she tried to fight back the tears that threatened to spill. 

"Ben, I...I found out two years ago that I wasn't Rey Jaqueau, that I was someone called Reyna Kenobi. But I never felt like her. I never really felt like Rey Jaqueau either. But when I'm with you I'm _so happy_. I know who I am, and you gave me that." She paused, gathering his hands in hers and lifting them to her lips. "So, what I'm trying to say, is yes! Yes, I'm so happy to be Rey Solo."

A huge grin broke out across Ben's face at her words, causing his dimples to pop. With swift deliberate movement he captured her lips with his, cupping her face. From the large picture window at the back of the restaurant, their family cheered. 


End file.
